Does Pickup Advice Work This 2021? (w/ Dr. Robert Glover)

Matt: Does Pickup Advice work this 2021? We’re joined by Dr. Robert Glover and he’s going to drop a ton of knowledge on you today, including whether pickup advice is good or bad, whether it actually hurts you or harms you. Whether it can really get you a hot girlfriend or not.

And should you use that old cliche, “fake it till you make it”?

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DOES PICKUP ADVICE WORK THIS 2021?

Matt: We’re going to even talk about why you shouldn’t date a hot woman. Sounds pretty crazy if you ask me, but let’s dive right in.

Josiah: Hey, Robert, I’d like to backtrack to something you said a minute ago, and I really love your term “geeks with techniques.” So when you got out and exited your second marriage and you’re starting to date again, tell us your journey – because for me personally, it was like I found the seduction community and I basically I’m pro “fake it till you make it,” because that’s the path that I took.

Now, had I had other options that might have been I might have done something different. But at the time, that’s all I had. So how is it for you and what’s your thoughts on fake it till you make it?

Robert: Yeah, OK, there’s about four questions there. Let me see if I can kind of parse them apart. You know, there’s no right way to do this. There’s really not. Now, my book, Dating Essentials for Men, I call it the “UN-Pickup Guide to Dating Success.” and I have mixed feelings about traditional pick up.


When I became single, that was when pick up was just really beginning to explode. So, you know, like everybody else, I read the game, you know, got all of David D’Angelo’s dating stuff. What happened is all my clients that I was working with in my private practice, they started giving me stuff, books, DVDs.

I was really kind of before, like, YouTube was so big, but there’s a lot of resources out there. I read the game and listened to some podcast interviews and and then end up getting interviewed by David D’Angelo and ended up getting interviewed by a lot of the people that I listen to. There’s a lot of good information out
there, a lot of good psychological information that works in terms of interaction with the opposite sex.

And my issue with pickup is in the way that it is taught. Now, here’s here’s one thing I’ve also noticed about pickups. I’ve been able to watch it for twenty years.

Most pickup artists evolve over time and kind of get to where like, you know, it really is about being authentic and, you know, and the relationship aspect of it. Even Neil Strauss wrote the Bible of Pickup to then write another book that still looks like a Bible called The Truth and it was all about finding the right relationship. Most of the guys were teaching pick up when I first got single have evolved more into a social dynamic aspect of things – how to be authentic, how to be real, how to move your energy, how to be grounded, how to be embodied, how to set the tone and lead.. All things that I think are really positive.

The parts of that that I don’t like about pickup is that I believe fundamentally where much of his time, I think is demeaning to both men and women.

It often is based around teaching men, “OK, you know, here’s how you get the hottest women out there.” And, you know, I’ve never heard one pickup artist say, “What is the benefit of getting the hottest woman out there?” It’s like we just assume we all know what the benefit of that is.

But there must be some benefit. So what is that benefit? In my mind is primarily egoic, its the man going, “Look at me, I’m not such a loser! I got a hot woman. All the guys are going to think I’m great!” And we think it’s going to lead to amazing sex, we think because that’s male logic. If she’s hot, she must be great in bed. In my personal experience and I’ve talked with a lot of guys, I’ve talked to a lot of women. Often the hottest women have been the most abused. Plus they’ve never had to show up in any way. They’re usually the least accountable, the most entitled and the worst in bed.

Because guys, we’re physical, we’re visual. We want that hot woman. And it’ll make me feel like I’m OK. I think it’s demeaning to us and demeaning to them. It breaks most women down to just accumulation of body parts, you know, the ones with the best genetic inheritance?

All right. That’s the one I got to get because then it teaches how to pick up the most attractive woman in the room and go walk up and talk to her. I think that’s fundamentally invasive. The approach I teach is that if you’re just in a space being yourself and you notice the feminine noticing you. Go talk, go approach, go do something, But just approaching a woman because you like her ass or you like her tits, I tell men I think it’s the worst possible reason to approach a woman.

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You know nothing about her. Guys who say, “Well, but she looks nice.” No, don’t stop lying to yourself. You like her tits, you like her ass. You think those tits will make your life better in some way. That’s really what it is. And it keeps us in a really almost seven year old view of women.

“Oh, they have nice tits. They’re going to make my life better.” I don’t think there’s a God damn thingwrong with those being physically attracted to women. Like, physically attracted to their body parts. I don’t preach against it, but using that as our basis for deciding who we talk to and don’t talk to or who we want to go out with or don’t want to go out with is the worst.

I’ve been doing relationship counseling for over 30 years. I just think it’s the worst possible foundation to build anything long term with. And as I said, contrary to guy logic, it’s also usually the worst possible way to have a good time in bed.

I rather we only go back to helping men be their authentic selves, learning to soothe their anxiety, learn how to get out of their comfort zones, learning to challenge themselves, learning to walk through the open doors that present themselves. If you’re standing next to a woman in line at Starbucks and you just start a conversation
and there’s a mutual interest there. Yeah, get a phone number.

If you’re somewhere at a party with a group of friends, you notice a woman’s looked at you a couple of times, walk across the room and talk to her, but just don’t be invasive because you like a woman’s tits. There’s a reason why hashtag MeToo was so prominent. Women have been invaded by men all of their lives. And so I don’t want to perpetuate that.

BUT I do want to teach men how to walk through every open door of opportunity. And that’s why I’ll bring it back to what my experience was. That’s what amazed me. As I said, I didn’t and I couldn’t believe what planet I had landed on. Women were propositioning me.. They were giving me phone numbers. They were getting naked on first and second dates. And I’m going, what’s happening here? I didn’t realize it worked like this.

It’s not because I was practicing pickup. It’s not because I sitting on the most attractive women in the room. It’s not because I was the youngest, best looking, richest guy in the room. Its because I had a sense of self.


You guys began by asking how old I am. I’m sixty four. My wife is twenty two years younger than me. We’re coming up on four years of marriage and she’s a fairly typical Latina in that she she has that Latina jealousy. And she’s actually is good at noticing women noticing me, women walking in front of me, women bending over, kind of pointing their butt at me, or giving a little cleavage, women touching my shoulder as they walk by.

She’s highly sensitive to that and lets me know it. That even at sixty four, I still draw that kind of energetic attention without me trying. I actually I know how to attract and engage with women. I keep it toned down because I’m married. I don’t want the attention or energy and it still keeps coming to me.

I’m a big believer that we don’t have to learn some some poll question or clever pick up line and walk across the room and find the hottest woman and try to, get her phone number and go, “Yey! I got a number.”

You know, she never calls you back and you ever see her naked, but you got her. No, I never had to resort to that. And again, it wasn’t because I was the best looking guy in the room. There are more effective ways to draw the higher quality women into your life than than using the tricks that pickup teaches.

BUT.. a piece that I do like about pickup is it gets men out of their comfort zone and it gives them gives them a tribe. They find a group of men and they go out together and they go get out of their comfort zone and do the things that scare them.

I’m actually a really big fan of that process, both of getting a tribe, connecting with men and getting out of your comfort zone. I do like that dynamic that that typically occurs in a dating boot camp or something like that.

Matt: Yeah, I think part of the problem, too, is they’re still nice guys and pick up just give them some lines and some things to do or say to look cool and sound cool. But underneath it all, they’re still nice guys. They still have all these issues and baggage and trauma’s that they haven’t dealt with yet, so it’s just a bandaid over the real problem and eventually, usually sooner rather than later,the woman figures it out. “He’s really not as cool he seems.

Robert: And the bottom line, they’re not being themselves. The social dynamic should be that they’re learning is really about being their most bold, assertive self. I love that idea. But if it was about just being phony in a way that gets drunk, twenty two year old women with lots of insecurities to give you a phone number, what have you really gained?

And then as you said, and then if the woman gets to know you and all of a sudden you still have these really underlying fears of “I’m not very interesting, I don’t have anything to talk about, I’m just going to try to give her everything she wants and try to make her happy.” They’ll soon get bored with all that anyway.

Matt: And then if you even if you do sleep with her, then it could give you a false sense of confidence, like you feel great for a little while because you just slept with this gorgeous woman. But that’s not going to last very long because it’s not real confidence.

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How to Get a Girlfriend in 2021 (The Ultimate Guide to Getting a Girlfriend)

All right, so let’s cut to the chase. You want a girlfriend and the reason you clicked on this article is because you think there’s something that you don’t know or maybe even something wrong with you that’s stopping you from getting one.

…Or should I say her, because you probably have a specific girl in mind already, am I right?

You just don’t know what to do. So then the question is, how do you take a girl that you like and turn her into your girlfriend?

If you want to know the answer to that question, then this might be one of the most important articles that you’ve ever read, because I’m going to show you the four foolproof steps that every man must follow in order to make that happen.

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HOW TO GET A GIRLFRIEND IN 2021
The Ultimate Guide to Getting a Girlfriend

I wish I knew this back in the day because I used to always sabotage myself. Any time I liked a girl, I would always say the wrong things and women would literally scatter.

I remember my best friend told me, “girls like you, man, until you open your mouth.” And that just hit me like a ton of bricks. It took me a lot of trial and error to really figure this out.

But when I did, getting a super high quality girlfriend became really easy and I was able to increase my standards. And here’s something you need to understand. Regardless of your experience to date, it’s actually pretty darn easy to get a girlfriend.  Understand that you’re actually in a buyer’s market and when you’re in a buyer’s market, you have all the power.

THE SCARCITY MINDSET AND WHY WOMEN LOVE A MAN WITH A PLAN

This is the first mistake that most guys make. They don’t realize that they’re surrounded by an ocean of women that are looking for someone like them. This mistake builds a scarcity mindset within them and brings closer to opening a new tab watching women online than landing that cute girl they met and had chemistry with at the coffee shop.

The second mistake that guys make is even worse. And you probably make it every day. It’s when you don’t have a plan.

A plan of how to take a girl that you like and turn her into your girlfriend.

You ask yourself, and it’s all a bit of a mystery, like trying to describe what the Force is. You simply don’t know what to do. And because of this, you might think that guys who do have girlfriends are somehow better than you or they have something that you don’t have.

I guess they do have something you don’t have… a girlfriend. BUT that doesn’t make them better than you and the reality is you just probably don’t know what you’re doing – And the other guys had their dad or big brother or pervy uncle show them the ropes.

This lack of a plan, coupled with the fact that you and every other guy on the planet fails to realize the sheer number of opportunities around you are the reason that you spent the last few years getting repetitive strain injury in your wrist rather than cuddling up in front of Netflix with the hot barista that you’ve always wanted to ask out.

But for the sake of your aching heart, that ends now, I’m going to give you my 4-step foolproof plan into taking that classy, sassy senorita and turning her into your high quality, loving girlfriend.

This isn’t going to be a list of techniques, and this is not going to be ridiculously complicated. But I can promise you, if you follow these four steps to the teeth, you will land the girlfriend that you’ve been looking for.


STEP 1
YOU NEED TO KNOW WHAT YOU BELIEVE

Your beliefs about yourself and about women and about the world in general are going to torpedo your chances to get a high quality girlfriend faster than anything else on Earth.

This is why it’s so important to actually take a step back and examine your beliefs about women.

Do you believe you’re attractive to women? Do you believe women are interested in your personality? Do you believe you deserve a top ten Instagram model girlfriend?

Do you believe you’re worthy of love? You really need to dig in and really find out what makes you tick. If you find that you have a bunch of unhealthy or limiting negative beliefs that aren’t helping you, start to challenge them. And ask yourself if they’re really true.

You also need to know what you want when you actually know what kind of girlfriend you’re looking for. It gives you a clear target. Why, you might ask?

Well, that girl certainly has hobbies. She has certain interests and lives a certain way and has a specific type. For example, if you like rocker chicks, then going to rock concerts and getting a bunch of tattoos is probably going to help you land that kind of girl.

But there’s one big caveat.

Do not go for a girl that is your complete opposite. For example, if you’re a bookish, introverted guy, finding a girl who likes to hit up nightclubs and sing karaoke, partying till 3AM.. probably isn’t a good idea. No matter how hard she is, you’ve got to find someone more your speed and knowing exactly what you want will mean that you have standards. Because you won’t just let anybody be your girlfriend.

And a guy with standards is a lot more attractive than a guy who will just go for anything.

Look, man, understanding your beliefs about yourself and knowing exactly what you want gives you the strongest foundation for meeting women and having the confidence to get a girlfriend.

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STEP 2
MAKE SURE YOUR CAKE IS BAKED BEFORE PUTTING ON THE ICING

A girlfriend is the icing on an already excellent life cake. By this I mean she enhances a life that’s already good.

If your life sucks and you have a dull social life, a crappy job and you’re still wearing last week’s underpants.. then you need to fix all that first, the easiest way to attract a high quality woman is to have a life that you enjoy because she sees it as the kind of life that she would love to be swept up in.

And she admires you for taking care of yourself and for taking your life seriously. When you’re trying to get a girlfriend, but your life is a little bit of a shambles. It just screams that you’re looking for her to be a Band-Aid.

And you’re not a man who’s in charge of his own world. Sorting out your “life cake” before you get some “girlfriend icing” also comes with the added benefit of improving your confidence, your looks, your bank balance, your social life and, of course, your sex life, all of which will help you attract a higher quality girlfriend.

In other words, it’s one of the closest things to a magic pill that you’re going to find.

But look, I know you’re probably thinking, why do I have to build this amazing life just to get one girlfriend? I’m going to let you in on a little secret: For girls, an attractive life isn’t one filled with Ferraris, suitcases filled with money and models hanging off your arm..

It’s just a guy whose life is at least a little bit above average.

That’s it, man. A guy whose life is a little bit above average and she can curl up on the sofa with and eat ice cream and watch Netflix. Seems pretty doable, right? I hope so, because that’s it.


STEP 3
LEARN A WOMAN’S SECRET LANGUAGE

Your future girlfriend is a girl, and you’re going to have to speak to her at some point.

So as scary as it might seem right now, you’re going to have to get comfortable speaking to women. Not only that, but you don’t know where you’re going to meet the girl that ends up becoming your girlfriend, especially if you want a really high quality girlfriend.

Relying on the easy swiping of online dating is probably not going to cut it because women are bombarded by messages from other guys.

So the competition is really effing high. You need to grab your balls, build up some courage and some resilience and learn how to speak to women in real life in all different types of environments, like walking down the street in a coffee shop while she’s at work, at bars, parks, wherever.

Because look, man, at the end of the day, dating, whether you’re looking for sex or for love, is a numbers game. The more you play, the more you win. This means you’re going to want to increase your chances of meeting her as much as possible.

And when I first started meeting women in everyday situations, I looked like a deer in headlights because I felt like I was bothering them.

My results were pretty slim. But as I did thousands upon thousands of approaches, I became a lot better. I became a lot more confident and I was able to spark sexual tension immediately and women’s eyes would just light up.

The good news is you don’t have to do thousands of approaches. You don’t have to learn the hard way like I did. All you need to do is get a mentor.

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STEP 4
MAKE YOUR MOVE

Do you know when the best time to ask a girl out is?

“Yesterday”

The second best time?

“Right Now”

A while back, I taught a class in Singapore with 14 women and I asked them, what’s the biggest hang up that you have when it comes to men and dating? And they all unanimously agreed their biggest hang up or gripe or challenge was that men in their culture did not make the move. But it really applies to all cultures. I mean, imagine that for a second. You’re a beautiful woman and you like a guy, but it’s just not in your nature to make a move.

I’m not saying women can’t make moves. Yes, of course they can. It’s all good.

But it’s just not in a feminine woman’s nature. They just feel very masculine if they have to ask the guy out. But once you’ve challenged your beliefs and you know what you want and you’ve built an attractive lifestyle and you know how to talk to girls, you only need to take one more step.

And it’s pretty simple. You just need to ask her out and go on dates.

Don’t wait man, just do it. And of course, not all women will say yes, but if you do this enough, you will get a yes and you will end up on a date from here. It’s just a matter of time, chemistry and compatibility, which of course, is why step number one is so important. You got to know what you want. When it works, you’ll know.

And when you do. And you’ve been on a bunch of dates and everything’s all kissing lovey dovey looks and thinking about each other all the time, just ask her to be your girlfriend.

Who knows? She might say yes. So call your crush NOW and ask her out man.

And that’s it for your Ultimate Guide To Getting a Girlfriend. Was it really that short? Could it really be that easy? Well DO it, man. You’ve be surprised as to how effective these steps are. Stay tuned for our content next week!

Cheers,

Matt

Why Do Girls Like Bad Boys? | The Dark Side Of Attraction

Why do girls like bad boys so much? Do nice guys always finish last? What you’re about to hear is controversial.. because you’ve probably never heard this before. So let’s get right to the interview, shall we?

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WHY DO GIRLS LIKE BAD BOYS?
The Dark Side Of Attraction

Matt: I like how you said “be yourself,” because a lot of people have heard that advice.. And don’t understand it because they say, “Oh, I’m always being myself. I’m being so nice and sweet to women.

And really, are they being themselves, do you think?

Robert: They are not. And you know that that applied to me as well. And yeah, that’s that’s the advice. You know, we used to hear from our mother or something like that “just to be yourself,” you know, and guys will tell me, you know, “I’ve heard that all my life and that sucks. That’s not accurate. I myself and women still don’t want to give me a number. I still don’t want to go out with me.

And and what’s happened is how can a woman be attracted to a chameleon? How could she be attracted to something that has no life energy
about it? No edge to it? No. No darkness to it. Right? No fierceness to it.

Nice Guy vs. Bad Boy – The Truth Behind What Women Want In Men

Robert: The feminine is attracted to all of those things. And nice guys, just unfortunately. Nice, niceness.. nice is not a turn on to the majority of women, even though women say, “Oh, I want to be with the nice guy” even though they like the idea of being with a guy who treats them well..

And again, I’m not talking about guys being jerks, but unfortunately, oftentimes that is what women get attracted to.

They get attracted to the man that’s unavailable – that they can’t trust, that sleeps around on them, that steals their money, that doesn’t follow through. Why? Because there’s some energy to it.

There’s an edge to it. There’s a vibration to it. And women need that kind of emotional tension for attraction and attachment and sexual arousal. Niceness creates no emotional tension.

Matt: Flat line.. Like it’s so predictable, the asshole, even though, you know, we don’t want to actually become an asshole, but he’s like, nice at some times. But then he’s an asshole and he’s unpredictable and, you know, he’s sweet to her.. But then he doesn’t call her back for a week. He disappears.


Robert: But that what drives them crazy. A woman would rather be driven crazy than be driven bored. Right? And that’s a problem with nice guys, We’re born.. Trying to please other people is always kind of a one-down type of thing.

“Oh, I’ll do nice things for you. I’ll listen to you talk. I’ll do whatever you want, blah, blah, blah. Because I have you up here and I want you to want me.”

But it makes the woman the decider. It gives her all the power. It makes her the Alpha, you the Beta. And and so trying to, you know, be that nice guy to be what we think women want us to be, paradoxically just doesn’t work.

Now, part of the problem is we don’t know what else to do because we’ve been hiding all those other things about ourselves that might actually be a little bit attractive to women.

And what is amazing to most guys, like it was to me, is that women are drawn to the darkness in us.

They’re drawn to to the part of us that can be an asshole. They’re drawn to us. The part that that, you know, wants to f*** them to god, they’re drawn to us that would protect them from threat that, you know, would draw a sword and cut someone’s head off!

You know, they’re drawn to something fierce and bold and strong.

My wife is younger than me. Mexican woman, grew up in poverty, had to learn to fight. She grew up in her white bred neighborhood suburb of Seattle. And she even says, “I know I got bigger balls than you, but I don’t want to ever feel like my balls are bigger than my man’s.

It is all in Spanish. And she’s telling the truth.

She is a strong, strong woman, but she wants to know that I’ve got some fierceness about me and she
likes the dark side of me. She likes me to tell her dark, nasty stories. And then this is all stuff I didn’t think, well, women more like that kind of stuff. And it’s been throughout my life as women that have begged for that kind of energy, that kind of darkness.

And finally, it kind of sunk in after a while. Well, why am I hiding that from them? Why am I afraid of them thinking I’m a bad man? They’re drawn to that, that they crave it.

Matt: Hey, man, I hope you enjoyed this topic. Make sure to subscribe to this channel on YouTube so that you can watch the other episodes from the Robert Glover interview and make sure to hit that Bell notification icon.

And listen, man, if you want to go deep and really get this part of your life handled, then I highly recommend either one of our live programs. I’ll put a link to our boot camp schedule down below:

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That’s all for now, man! See you in our next post!

Cheers,
– Matt

3 Easy & Powerful Steps To Attract Women

I can tell you that there are just three simple actions that you can do right now to attract women and get them to chase you today instead of it being the other way around.

But first, here’s the hard truth. Most guys will never be chased by women. You may have experienced this yourself, the constant fight for her attention, thinking of something funny to say, only to end up empty handed..

It sucks, right? I mean, what’s the point in putting in all this effort if she’s just going to blow you off? And why do girls always seem so indifferent?

Listen, men, women can sense from a mile away when you’re being needy and when they sense this, their sex drive dries up faster than my iPhone battery.

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This is because when you’re trying so hard to attract women.. then you chase her subconsciously, you’re telling her that you’re not worth chasing. You’re telling her that you’re just like every other guy, that you’re nothing special, that she is better than you.

The result, of course, instead of making her want you, you end up pushing her away. Probably not the outcome you want, right? If like most guys, you want an outcome that involves a lot more nudity and a lot less soul crushing rejection, then I’m going to show you exactly what to do.

In fact, I can tell you what to do. And just one simple sentence in you’re sharp sharpies ready? You need to take her down off that pedestal and tell her subconscious mind that you’re the type of guy that she needs to chase.

But here’s the most important thing that nobody in the dating advice industry will tell you.

3 POWERFUL STEPS TO ATTRACT WOMEN
(Get Girls To Chase YOU)

There are only three ways to do this. Not a million, not a bazillion, just three. Three steps to attract women enough to get her to chase you.

I cannot make this more clear. Most experts will tell you you need an Instagram that’s fully loaded, full of pictures of you flexing next to your Ferrari while holding a puppy. Trust me, man, you don’t need to ignore her and hit on her friend.

You don’t even need to show her that you’re constantly surrounded by women and you don’t need to master the seven mysterious psychological tricks that manipulate women.

Here’s a hint: they don’t work.

Trust me, man. I spent years trying pretty much every pickup trick in the book and yeah some of them can work, but more often than not, they will backfire.

For example, back in the day I read that you should show more interest in the friend. So I did that in the friend ended up really liking me and then the girl that I liked ended up going home with somebody else and I was stuck there trying to get the less attractive girl away from me.

You don’t need to do things like that! And when you hear other experts tell you to do things like that, run the other direction.

Here’s what I want you to do instead:

STEP #1 – “Do not treat her like a princess”

Even though that’s what mainstream media tells you to do.

Before I started working on this part of my life, I had a huge crush on this girl that I thought was way out of my league. But somehow we ended up hooking up a couple of times and I became really attached.

I just became infatuated with her and I ended up sending her flowers and poetry on Valentine’s Day, even though we had only been dating for just a few weeks. And when she didn’t return my calls or text messages, I would stalk her friend at work and try to find out information like “Where’s Nikki? Why isn’t she replying back to me?”

And she ended up completely blocking me on all social media because I was way too needy, because there’s an old saying,

“If you treat her like a celebrity, then she’s going to treat you like a fan.”

In layman’s terms, this just means don’t fawn after her, chase her, treat her like royalty, or act like a little puppy dog. No matter how much you want your belly scratched.

You might even say that she wants to be treated like a princess, but in reality, she just wants to be treated like a person. That’s part of how to attract women..

This means be honest with her. You disagree with her? Just tell her! If you want to take a chance and flirt with her, then do it. You feel a bit of sexual tension, then embrace it. If you feel like playfully teasing her? Then just do it.

If you feel like getting up from the date and spinning around and moonwalking away, then do it!

But seriously, man, when you’re 100% honest with her, you inherently prevent yourself from ever chasing her. It’s really a pretty simple fix. You also create an environment of honesty that just creates a more fun, flirtatious and natural vibe between you and her.

Lots of guys look for ways to create bursts of sexual tension or create a low key, flirtatious vibe. But really all that comes from honesty.

You don’t need a new technique. You just need to stop dicking around and be honest. You feel it. So you do it. And it all starts with treating her like a regular person. Which brings me to step number two..


STEP # 2 – “Pull the trigger.”

When I first started learning the stuff, I remember I went to a club in downtown L.A. and I approached these two girls and I started really hitting it off with one of the girls who I thought was pretty much a total ten in looks.

And so I really liked her. And I remember she told me she was already dating three other guys, which made me want her more like she was kind of a challenge, and so I remember kind of playing it safe, I could tell she really wanted me to make a move on her.

She even told me she wasn’t wearing any underwear. Yet, I still didn’t make the move. I thought “I’ll be kind of a challenge and then she’ll chase me.” But it ended up having the opposite effect. She ended up completely losing interest.

And I was really disappointed and mad at myself because it was such a perfect opportunity. She was showing me so much interest, yet I completely blew it.

And that’s because women rarely make the first move.

I’m sorry, man, but unless you’re Ryan Gosling, you’re not going to just walk out of your house, attract women and have them chasing you. You’re going to have to make a move first.

I don’t care if she’s at work, at the bar, walking down the street, or she’s the cute cashier at Whole Foods. You have to make the first move. If you don’t, you’re dead in the water and she’ll never chase you, let alone kiss you.. Go back to your place and play a little naked twister.

A lot of idiot dating coaches will tell you to hide your desire and use secret steps that make her make the first move.

Spoiler alert: she probably won’t.

And if she does, she probably comes with a price tag. One of the best ways that you can make a move is by showing your desire as long as you do it the right way. Not in a way that’s creepy. Make it clear that you like her and that you’re not afraid to show it.

Simply put, if you’re afraid to show your interest in her, then you’re just like every other guy that orbits around her waiting for some magical opportunity to show up.

So WHY would she chase you? Which brings me to step number three..

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STEP #3 – “Be the one percent man.”

The truth is men, that girls don’t need to chase a guy to get laid or get a boyfriend or get married. Because like 99% of guys will chase them.

So then ask yourself, why would you she chase you?

The only reason that you would chase you.. Is because you’re that type of guy that she never meets.

In simple economic lingo, you’re a “scarce resource,” so your value shoots way up and her strategy therefore, has to change. Its basic supply and demand. So then what kind of guy does she never meet?

I know what you’re thinking. And no, it’s not just rich guys. There are plenty of guys with money out there. And trust me, man, a lot of my clients are very wealthy before they come to me. They’re struggling in their dating lives because they’re still chasing women.

And actually answer this question by just listening to any woman going on a Cosmo fueled rant about her dating life. They rarely meet guys who have their own lives, a clearly defined purpose, who are independent.

Believe it or not, they rarely meet guys who have their life fundamentals together: A Career he likes, friends he likes, a life that he likes to live.

These kind of guys are just naturally a challenge to women because they can be. Because they’re a catch. These are the kind of guys and really who truly enjoy their lives and they know they’re totally fine, regardless whether they get her or not. That’s the kind of guy that she wants to chase. One who can attract women effortlessly.

And here’s a little reality check, just in case you’ve been nodding along.

If you play games, you aren’t this guy.

If you try to manipulate her, you aren’t this guy.

If you’re too afraid to approach her, you are NOT this guy.

Look, man, if you want her to chase you, you have to build a life that is completely independent of her.

For every guy, this is a little bit different because everybody wants different things. But if you can make the changes in your life necessary to achieve this, it will drive women crazy. And you’ll just naturally be a challeng to women because you’ll be on your life’s purpose.

And as you work on yourself and become the most attractive, confident version of yourself and learn how to talk to women and approach women with confidence, you’ll have so many options. And guys with options don’t chase women. They’re the ones who get chased.

So you can take one thing away from this.. Let it be:

If you can sort out your life, she will chase you simply because you are YOU.

Something that we in the business call “Easy mode.”

So keep up the great work, be the 1% man, attract women AND success.. and stay awesome!

Cheers,
Matt

Porn Addiction Cure: 4 Steps To Overcome Porn Addiction

Why do you need a porn addiction cure? Did you guys hear the news about the man that died after masturbating sixty two times in a row on Valentine’s Day?!

I guess now we know the magic number is sixty one times! Right? Right? *Cricket Noise*

But jokes aside.. guys always ask each other – “Why would you want to quit porn anyway? I mean, isn’t it just part of being a man? Isn’t it just what we guys do?

And my answer is – NO! It’s literally one of the worst habits you can have!

While it seems all innocent and good it actually depletes your motivation to meet and attract women in real life. And when you do have a woman, it makes it really hard to “get it up.” Why? because you’re so used to getting aroused by women in porn videos that you no longer get arousal from women in real life.

It also depletes your dopamine, (the happy hormone) which makes you depressed. So It makes everyday things like seeing the sunrise just seem bland and boring. It gives you unrealistic expectations when it comes to women and sex. It depletes your confidence level, and creates shame and anxiety!

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Look, man, for a lot of guys, including myself, quitting porn was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. It can almost feel impossible like the temptation is just too great and it’s easier to just give up and give in. Is there really a porn addiction cure out there?!

Well, the truth is that you’re likely just making a few small mistakes.. And with some tiny adjustments that I’m about to give you, you can finally stop relapsing and start being super proud of yourself for finally quitting porn for good.

Why is it so hard to quit porn?

# 1 The Dopamine Rush

It’s pretty simple. We get that mega-hit of dopamine every time we watch it. Dopamine, the happy hormone, is excreted everytime a “stimulus” is encountered by the body. Like the video and audio you have when opening porn. This hormone is responsible for making you feel great – when your body is used to feel so good when you watch porn, then everyday things like eating your favorite food will pale in comparison to watching it.

This can lead to a dangerous addiction where you’ll feel that watching it is a “need” instead of a “want” and you’ll replace your actual “needs” like food, water, social interactions, self-fulfilment with it instead. The same principle applies to drugs and alcohol. Even video games. Don’t let it replace healthy, positive things in life.

And no, I’m not saying video games are bad. But too much of a good thing is bad for you. If you’re spending 12 hours on a game when you should have been working, studying, or even eating and exercising, then thats a bad habit you need to remove. (Same with watching porn!)

WHAT YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT:

Just make sure your dopamine levels are high. Do other things that give you fulfillment, have small goals and accomplish your goals on a regular basis every single day and you won’t feel such
an urge to watch porn.

# 2 Willpower is Not Dependable

There was a study in Israel that looked at the decision of parole board judges as to why they would let some prisoners get parole and others they would deny. They found a pattern and it had nothing to do with their ethnic background, crimes or sentences.

It was all about timing.

The study showed that the judges were a lot more likely to grant the prisoner’s parole if the prisoner was seen early in the morning or right after lunch. That’s because after a while of making decisions, who gets parole and who doesn’t get parole, the judges would get tired, they would have “decision fatigue“, and it was just easier to deny them parole.

Now the study may have nothing to do with a porn addiction cure, but the same concept of “decision fatigue” is true for porn and other addictions.

When you get exhausted, you tend to make decisions on “auto-mode” and well, porn is an easy way to gratify yourself negatively. You can apply the same principle with drugs and alcohol. Your willpower will get depleted and you will resort to the easy way out the moment you feel tired and stressed.

WHAT YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT:

Don’t rely on willpower alone. Follow the steps and methods I show in my content to help yourself add extra barriers, like apps and setting changes on your phone and computer. Once your willpower yields, you won’t automatically go for negative things when you have other steps blocking them out.

# 3 Its Too Accessible

Literally just a click away on our phones.

Internet + mobile devices + free porn available on the net = huge temptation, right?

Back then you had to get your hands on some magazines. After that, some VHS’s, then CD’s.. then the internet and when you owned a computer. Next was laptops and finally – smartphones. It became more and more accessible with every new step of technology.

With porn getting more accessible.. the temptation to avoid it obviously becomes even more difficult to even think about getting a porn addiction cure.

WHAT YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT:

You need to make it harder to access. Take your phone away. Keep it away during times when you are most tempted. Add blockers to your connections to porn. Remove and restrict websites. Do what you can so your access becomes limited. Step 2 below can help you with it.


4 STEPS To Quitting Porn For Good

STEP 1 – Ask Yourself “WHY?”

Sometimes asking yourself questions before doing things is the key to making either good or bad decisions. Even then, when you’ve already made the bad decision (i.e. watched porn) asking yourself these questions will help you learn from it. And hopefully use your experience and answers to get your porn addiction cure. (Never watch porn again!)

Ask yourself:

“Why did you relapse?”/Why did you watch porn?
“What was the event that led up to you watching porn?”

“What mental state were you in?”
“Were you feeling really tired? Were you a little bit depressed?”
“Did you just get in a fight with someone?”

“What time of day did you look at it?”
“Was it like right before lunch where you really, really hungry or was it at the end of the day right before going to bed?”

And then you need to see if you can stop doing or change the event leading up to watching porn. Maybe you were scrolling through Instagram and you were doing some searches and you saw a lot of attractive half naked Instagram models and that made you a little excited.

And then, of course, one thing led to another. That would mean you either need to uninstall Instagram or at least stop scrolling and looking at Instagram models.

One common factor for a lot of guys is just boredom. Now, that might not be enough. So next you need to —

STEP 2 – Make it Harder to Access

One thing I do when I’m sleeping alone is I put my phone outside of my room because that’s a temptation for me. When I go to bed and I’m looking at my phone, I’m real tired.. It’s just so easy to type in something that I know I’m going to regret later.

  • So if you know that you’re looking at it on your phone, and it’s a certain time of day, then you need to put your phone away or give your phone to a friend. Or at least put it out of reach.
  • Maybe it’s on your computer at home because you work from home and you start getting stressed out from work. And it’s just kind of a way
    for you to take the edge off. If that’s the case, then go to a cafe and work because you’re probably not going to do it there!
    (If you get thrown out of the cafe or arrested.. Not my fault. You SERIOUSLY have a problem if you watch it in public!)
  • Another way to make it harder to access is to use a porn blocker. I recommend something like Blocker X for your smartphone. I use it myself and it’s just one extra barrier, even though I know I can uninstall it or just turn it off, it’s just going to take more effort because It’s going to have to be a conscious decision for me to do that.

DOWNLOAD BLOCKER X FOR FREE HERE

STEP 3 – Change Your Identity

Changing your identity is a powerful tool to give yourself the strength mentally to destroy your porn addiction. Its one a go-to porn addiction cure! One amazing example is to do this:

Instead of labeling yourself as a “porn addict” change it to “A man who gets fulfillment from real life.” I tell myself every single day. Allow only positive content into my mind and body. I’ve brainwashed myself into knowing this so that I only look at positive things and I only put things into my body that are helpful instead of harmful.

Personally, I don’t believe the whole Alcoholics Anonymous – “Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic!” Because then you have the identity of an alcoholic. Which means you’re going to be more likely to slip up and relapse. Do you think that’s a good identity? “Once a porn addict, always a porn addict?”

I personally believe if your identity is “I’m an alcoholic” or in this case, “I’m a porn addict“, that’s not a very empowering identity. Instead, change your identity to “I’m a man who can conquer anything. And I’m a man who only puts positive content into my body.

Tell yourself that you get fulfillment from real life, not this fake fantasy world. And don’t say “I’m NOT a porn addict” or “I DON’T watch porn” because then you’re still focusing on porn and your subconscious mind doesn’t hear the “not.

It just hears “I watch porn“, which is going to make you want to do it.

STEP 4 – Write Down Your Identity & Read It Every Day

Finally, for your final step in this porn addiction cure journey: Write down your new identity right now. Take a piece of paper and a pen right now and writeit down. Then brainwash yourself with this positive, amazing, powerful new identity.

Write it down every single day and read it every single day until it becomes just who you are. Once you do that, even if you relapse, it’s not a big deal because you don’t see yourself as a porn addict.

It just might be one little slip up. Then you go back to living your life – of being a man who gets his fulfillment from his family, his work, accomplishing his goals and beautiful women in real life.

And look, man, if you’re a single guy and you’d some help meeting and attracting beautiful women, check out my channel, my website and my blog – because I know it’s tough and a lot of single guys give up because they don’t want to get rejected.

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That is one of the many factors why guys end up watching a lot of porn because it satisfies that need in an easy, accessible, but negative way.

But trust me, man, maybe you haven’t experienced the real thing yet, but the real thing is ten times better.

And whether you’re single or in a relationship, make sure to download my free Confidence Cheat Sheet that will give you eighteen different ways that are proven by science to boost your confidence and help you eliminate fear. In fact, all of the eighteen habits in the Confidence Cheat Sheet will give you a dopamine boost, help you feel better about yourself and increase your willpower, thus making you able to handle temptation.

As you’re overcoming this addiction, the Confidence Cheat Sheet will help you just feel a lot more confident. So download it, man:


That’s all for now man. Hope you found my porn addiction cure helpful. Share it with guys who you think will greatly benefit from it.
Keep up all the great work and stay awesome!

See you in my next video and post.
Cheers,
Matt Artisan