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cure fear of rejection

3 Ways To Cure Your Fear Of Rejection From Women And Dating

Hey man! Today’s video is all about curing your fear of rejection. The best coaches in the world, like myself, get rejected the most because we approach the most. So then how can a normal guy like you, who’s possibly not yet quite the ladies man, never get rejected?

Well, in this video, I’m going to show you exactly how:

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3 Ways To Cure Your Fear Of Rejection For Good

Look, man, you can’t ever get to a point in life where no one ever says no to you or just doesn’t accept whatever it is that you’re offering them,
getting a no, whether it’s in business or sales, friends, family, whatever it is, it’s just a part of life.

Not everyone will want what you have to offer.

So then what can we do to never get rejected?

Well, number one, we can actually minimize the amount of NO’s that you get when approaching beautiful women.

And number two, even more importantly, we can change the way you think and feel about getting a “NO” so that it doesn’t feel like a rejection.

When I first started approaching women during the daytime, I had a huge fear of rejection and it showed up in my approach. They could read it on my face, I’m sure, because I was approaching them with this “Please be nice to me.” Kind of look in my eye. Kind of leaning back like “I’m
sorry I interrupted you.”

I was just so afraid they were going to feel like I was interrupting them until I realized I wasn’t interrupting them. I mean, sometimes I was, but even when I was, they absolutely loved it!

And it was like a shift in my brain that I was actually making their day. And even when they weren’t into it, because, of course, not every woman is impressed by my approach.

But what I realized is they weren’t rejecting me as a person. They were just not available!

I’ll give you 3 of my practical mindsets to help cure your fear of rejection:

FIRST MINDSET IS – ITS HER SH*T OR YOUR SH*T

So it’s either her sh**, meaning it’s her world, her reality, what’s going on in her life. It has nothing to do with you.

It’s the fact that she has a boyfriend, so she’s not into it or she’s in a hurry or she had a bad day. She might have just got fired from her job!

One time I had a student on Hollywood Boulevard approach a girl who just got off the phone. It seemed like she wasn’t doing anything. Seemed like a great opportunity. Turns out she got off the phone with the police because somebody just harassed her and molested her.

So needless to say, her reaction wasn’t great, but it had nothing, nothing to do with my client. It had to do with just the situation
that had just happened.

You have no idea what her reality is, what her world is. So why take it personal and “Say she rejected ME!” when it has nothing to do with you.. OR it does have something to do with you, meaning it’s your sh**.

But all she knows about you remember is your tonality and your body language, your appearance, the words that came out of your mouth and the way you approached her, like the angle. Maybe you approached from behind and she freaked out.

So it’s just feedback.

The problem is you don’t know what the feedback is because she’s not going to just tell you. She’s not going to say, “Oh, you were talking too fast and you look down and that felt a little creepy or you felt a little needy or you felt too nervous.”

She’s not going to tell you that, which is why it’s so important to have a mentor, somebody who knows what to look for, who can spot those blind spots so you don’t keep running in circles making the same mistakes and keep having women dismiss you and saying no, that they’re not interested.

And you keep doing it over and over again when you can easily have somebody analyze your approach, give you some feedback and you can fix it on the spot.

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SECOND MINDSET – SHE’S QUALIFIED OR DISQUALIFIED

Look, man, she either has what it takes to date you or she doesn’t.


She has a boyfriend? Doesn’t mean she rejected you, just means she doesn’t have what it takes. She’s disqualified to be a potential lover with you.

If she’s in a hurry. Same thing. She’s disqualified in that moment. You need somebody who’s not in a hurry to have a conversation with them.

If she’s not into you, she’s disqualified.

Do you really want to date a woman that’s not into you? So it really comes down to she’s either qualified, she has what
it takes to date you.

She’s a good candidate or she’s not a good candidate. And sometimes it just depends on the circumstances of that moment.

Maybe if she wasn’t so busy, she would be a good candidate. But in that situation, she’s just disqualified. And if she’s disqualified, that’s a good thing. That gives you an opportunity to find someone who is qualified.

Imagine you went on a date with a girl who’s not qualified to date you and you wasted all this time. Maybe you went on several dates. Maybe she became your girlfriend and she just doesn’t have what it takes. She doesn’t have the qualities, the attributes to date a guy like you, you want to find that out sooner rather than later.

So when a girl becomes disqualified, say “thank you”, because now you have an opportunity to find someone who is qualified.

THIRD MINDSET – LEARN TO LOVE THE “NO”

Hearing a lot of no’s, I believe, is what builds character. In fact, there’s no other way to succeed. And there’s so many examples of this in history of successful people who have failed over and over again before they succeeded.

Such as Michael Jordan not making the cut for his high school basketball team.

Jack Canfields best selling book, Chicken Soup for the Soul. It was rejected one hundred and forty four times before it was published.

That’s crazy!

Most people would have given up after a few rejections, less than ten. So don’t be the guy who is digging for gold but gives up right before he finds it.

Back in the day there was a man named Mr. Darby and he had gold fever. So he went to work in Colorado with a pick and a shovel and it was really hard work. But he had desire and he had persistence. After weeks of labor, he finally found a shining ore but he needed some machinery to bring it to the surface.

So he borrowed a bunch of money from his family and his friends to buy the machinery. When the first car of or was mined and shipped to a smelter. The returns proved that they had one of the richest mines in all of Colorado. A few more cars of that ore would clear all of his debts. Then would come the big killing in profits.

But unfortunately, the vein of gold ore disappeared.

They drilled on and on, desperately trying to find gold, all to no avail. And finally, the sad day came when they decided to quit. So they sold their machinery to a junk man for just a few hundred dollars and they took the train home.

Now, some junk men are dumb, but not this guy.

He called in a mining engineer to look at the mine and do a little calculating. The engineer told the junk man that the project had failed because Mr. Darby was not familiar with fault lines.

Calculations showed that the vein would be found just three feet from where Mr. Darby had stopped drilling. That’s exactly where it was found. The junk man took millions of dollars of ore from the mine because he knew enough to seek expert counsel before giving up.

So, by the way, find an expert to help you before you give up on your journey, man.

And also learn to love the journey, not the destination.

So many of us we feel, oh, when I finally struck gold, then I’ll be happy when I finally get that dream girl, then I’ll be happy.

You need to love the journey along the way and learn to love the NO’s because those are getting you closer to your final destination. In fact, Tom Hopkins in his best selling book, The Art of Selling, says you need to learn to love the NO.

What that means is you need to calculate on average, how many no’s does it take to get to a yes, which is a great thing to do in selling as well as approaching women. Does it take you 10 no’s to get a yes when you’re approaching women as far as 10 approaches to get a date?

If so, then every time you get to know, you say, “Hell yes, I’m getting closer to a date. Only nine more to go.” And you allow that to motivate you to move forward.You say, “Hey, she’s disqualified. So what? I’m getting closer to someone who is qualified.”



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If you watch the video above, I also have a bonus mindset towards the end.

That’s all for now, man! See you next time!

Cheers,
Matt

how to approach during the daytime

How To Approach Women During The Daytime (Honest + Infield Footage)

Today’s content is all about how to approach women during the daytime! (Video footage included, man!) Approaching women and talking to girls isn’t only done in bars or clubs. In fact, we have had more authentic, memorable and enjoyable experiences when we approach women during the daytime.

Check out coach Jules Bia explaining his methods on how to approach women during the daytime, complete with footage of him approaching girls during the day in Playa del Carmen, Mexico:

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HOW TO APPROACH WOMEN DURING THE DAYTIME
with Coach Jules Bia

In today’s video, we show:
– how to approach women during the daytime
– how to approach girls during the day in the street, the beach, shops and malls
– how to approach a girl without being a creep
– how to approach girls during the daytime and get her number
– how to approach women in public places
– how to approach a girl NOT in a bar or club
– how to approach women in the street
– how to talk to a girl during the day
– infield footge from Jules Bia of The Attractive Man team
– examples of daygame approach,
– how to talk to girls with confidence
– how to talk to women and charm them

Here are Jules’ principles to keep in your mental checklist when you want to practice how to approach girls during the daytime:

WARM UP

Just like workouts. Just like public speaking.. Top athletes do it before game time, teachers and professors do it before major events, actors and performers do it before the big curtain rises. It makes TOTAL sense how important warming up is when mastering how to approach women during the day.

So, we love to warm up by talking to random people we meet everyday. Regardless of who they are, if they don’t look completely busy, give them a greeting – talk to them, give them a wave. Its a great warm up to set your mood and activate those happy hormones.

During nighttime approaches, we go and talk to everyone right from the start – if its in the bar or club, we talk to the bouncer, the first person we meet when we enter, the first group we meet.

Once you’ve warmed up, you won’t be so jumpy, anxious, fidgety. I almost never get tongue tied if I had an awesome warm up before I approach gorgeous women. So I want you to be more social, be a bit more dynamic, and warm up! Its going to help overall confidence, and social skills.

FEEL IT IN YOUR BODY

Ever heard the phrase “its all in your head”? Years of coaching men has helped us understand, majority of men’s problems are internal. They keep overthinking, they keep relying on mental cues, they keep thinking “what do I do now?” “what happens if I do this?” “what if she says this?” “should I do this after this and this?” “what if she says no?” “what if she says yes?”

The problem is.. All of your thoughts aren’t happening in the REAL world. You’ve beaten yourself up before you even made a move.

You’re supposed to FEEL it. You’re a human, with feelings, with sensors, with hormones that activate, with a body that responds to stimuli. Attraction is supposed to come naturally, not from a book that you pull out in your head. Being too much in your head? Overthinking? Believe me, it won’t end up well.

You see, some BAD advice would be “memorize this” and “practice this line and routine”. Imagine how that would feel like – are you some robot that only responds with a specific line or when a specific input is given?

So men, make sure to feel it in your body. Sure you might feel scared at first..you might have some jitters, but I want you to feel that and own it. Don’t lock yourself out of your feelings because you’ll never be able to tap into that natural, attractive you if you shut all of that out.

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TAKE CHANCES

“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” True. Most men want to play it safe. Also true.

Risk taking is never easy. It requires you to exit your comfort zone. But what that does is it opens up new and amazing oppurtunities for you. And effort plus oppurtunity always equals success.

Sometimes, all guys need is a good push. You could be hanging on the edge of your safe bubble, almost ready to break your limits and become better – but you can’t find it in yourself to bust through. Why? It could be the fear of pain, the fear of rejection, afraid you’ll be humiliated, or afraid you’ll get hurt.

Men, life has been throwing curveballs all this time. And the “no pain, no gain” mantra was created for a reason – not just for the gym and working out – it applies in real life as well.

Approaching beautiful women that you might feel are out of your league is a complete risk on your part. But you know what? Experiencing the pain of rejection and learning from it is better than feeling the regret of not doing it. And most of the time, interactions even end well for our clients.

It was only after stepping out of their comfort zone that our men have realized that they can do better in dating and in their lives. It is by taking chances that we truly improve. It is by facing your demons and fears, where you can find the courage and confidence to be the best version of yourself.

“It is better to have loved and lost than to not have loved at all”


INVEST IN YOURSELF

Now, this is self-explanatory but I’ll have to emphasize this. Don’t make “how to approach women during the daytime” or flirting, dating, approaching women your main focus in life. That will create a needy mindset, and will set you off.

What you should be doing, is investing in yourself. Its YOUR life, and YOUR happiness. Don’t think that people-pleasing will always lead to your happiness. Seeking others approval, and doing things for them rather than yourself will lead you to a depressive state.

Invest in yourself, man. That’s the best piece of advice I can give you right now. Seek out a better you everyday. Physically, mentally, emotionally. Develop yourself, and natural attraction will follow.

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must have items for single men

Must Have Items For Single Men

Own these 7 must have items for single men to be more successful with women. If you already have these, make sure you’re carrying them and making these items available for you to use – make them accessible! If not, then we recommend you get them right away:

7 Must Have Items For Single Men

There are certain things that every single man should own. Not only to get more dates with beautiful women, but also just live the best bachelor life possible, but.. mostly to get more dates. So the following list is my essentials that you must have your a single man.

Number 7 – Paid Version Of Tinder

Now online dating is NOT my preferred method for meeting women. However, if you’re traveling to different places, different countries, then you can actually set up dates ahead of time, like a week or two ahead of time. If you have the paid version of Tinder, because you can change your location and you can start swiping, matching, and messaging women ahead of time before you even arrive!

In fact, I’ve had plenty of times where I arrive in a new city and I already had a date that very same night, the first night that I arrived, but I also know how frustrating it can be when you’re swiping. You’re not getting a lot of matches and you’re sending messages. When you finally do get a match and she doesn’t reply, or she does reply, but then it just doesn’t lead to a date.

We actually have our online dating expert to help deal with that, so if you’re interested, we have our online dating programs ready for you.

In our program, She’s actually going to look at your profile and tell you which pictures to remove, what pictures that you need to add. What kind of pictures that you need to take the best first message to send. She’s going to totally redo your bio and just give you a whole profile makeover. So make sure to check that out because it’s absolutely worth it. And it’s a great feeling when you arrive in a city and you already have dates lined up.


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Number 6 – Osmo Mini Gimbal

Because my preferred way of meeting women is not on Tinder, I much rather meet women in person, but I want to see what I look like. I want to film my approaches. So I just use this thing. I hold it right about here and it’s filming my face the whole time.

It doesn’t even really look like a camera. And if she does notice that I’m filming myself, it’s not a big deal. It doesn’t look like I’m filming her. So she usually isn’t going to care. But this is a great way for me to analyze my approaches afterwards.

You can use your phone too. And it works just as well.

If you can just walk up to a random woman and go on a date with her right then and there, then you don’t have to worry about all the texting and writing each other back and forth.

Start going for instant dates with women that you meet in everyday situations and bring your Osmo pocket gimbal with you. So you can analyze your facial expressions, your tone of voice and all your verbals in nonverbals. So you can figure out what you’re doing, right, and what you need to improve upon.

Number 5 – Sunglasses

Now this is not just to keep the sun out of your eyes. This is when you approach a beautiful woman. It can actually make the approach just seem even more badarse and really create kind of a movie moment with her. Because when you remove your sunglasses, when you do it in a slow, confident way.

I know it’s a little cheesy, but I’ve had so many women actually compliment me on the way I approach them. And specifically like the way I took off my sunglasses. I know it’s kind of silly, but it really creates intensity. And it creates a moment like when you pull down your sunglasses, especially slowly, it shows her that what you’re about to say is important. Cause you had to remove your sunglasses to tell her.

And the key, like I said, do it in a slow way. If you say, Hey, I just saw you here. You’re really cute. It has no effect, but if you slow down, you’re like, Hey, real quick, I just saw you here. And I just thought, you’re really pretty. She’s probably going to melt now.


Just get yourself a pair of sunglasses. To me, it doesn’t really matter. I only spent 10 or 15 bucks on sunglasses because I usually lose them or break them. And honestly, I don’t think people really pay attention to the brands that much I could be wrong. So sue me, if you love spending hundreds of dollars on sunglasses, that’s totally fine do it. It’s just not my thing.

Number 4 – Condoms

Now this seems obvious. Of course, you’re a grown man. You’ve gone through sex ed. I don’t think we need to talk about that. But a lot of guys just aren’t prepared. In fact, when I teach workshops and we’re going out that evening, I ask guys, Hey, who has a condom? And only usually about half the room has they have one on them.

And when you’re not prepared like that, not only could you find yourself in a position when you’re with a beautiful woman and now you can’t take things as far as you might want to, but also you’re telling your subconscious that you don’t expect intimacy to happen, that you don’t think a woman would want to go home with you.

When you put this in your front pocket, when you go out at night, whether it’s going for a date or going out to the bar or club, you’re telling yourself, your subconscious like, Hey, I’m a cool guy. I’m an attractive guy. There’s always a chance it might happen. So not only is it for safety and for preventing unwanted pregnancies, but can also be a slight unconscious confidence booster.

Number 3 – Gums or Mints

On that same token, make sure to always have gum or mints on you at all times when you leave the house, even if you’re not expecting to go on a date or expecting to meet a beautiful woman, you never know when and where you might meet a woman and go on an instant date with her. Especially if you’ve been watching a lot of the videos on this channel and you’ve been implementing what I teach you.

Then every time you see a beautiful woman, you at least go up to her and say hi, and at least try to make her day. But there’s a good chance. You might end up on an instant date with her and you might be making out with her at least be very close to her. You don’t want her to be turned off because your breath be stanky.

So it’s kind of like that subconscious mental boost, having the condom in your pocket, having mince on you at all times provide a little bit of a mental boost to your psyche. Cause you’re telling yourself, Hey, I might meet a beautiful woman at any time and we might be on an instant date and we might be making out. So I better be prepared.

Number 2 – Instagram

You might already have Instagram, but you might not be using it properly because nowadays just about every woman, more or less under the age of probably 35 has Instagram. Because women are obsessed with taking and showing off their pictures. And when she meets a new guy, such as yourself, she’s going to want to do her homework and make sure you’re a cool, or at least a normal guy, basically make sure you’re not a psycho..

And an easy way for her to do that is to find you on social media. And nowadays, a lot of girls aren’t on Facebook because of all the privacy issues and because you know, their mom and their grandparents are on social media. So it’s just not as cool as it used to be.

Nowadays. It’s pretty much all about Instagram and not only that, but a woman’s a lot more likely to give out her Instagram versus her phone number because her phone number is a lot more intimate. Maybe only her really close friends or family have her phone number. Whereas lots of guys might have her Instagram, so it can be used as a stepping stone to get her phone number. For example, when I first meet a woman, I say, Hey, do you have Instagram? Cool, what’s your Instagram here? Put it in my phone.

And I say, here put your number in too. And sometimes they put both other times they just put their Instagram and they say, they’re not comfortable giving out their phone number, which is totally fine. Cause then you can just message her or even better yet send her voice messages on Instagram and just go back and forth and get a date that way.

But of course the best option if you’re not busy and she’s not busy is go for an instant date. So I’m going to give you a copy of my free conversation cheat sheet, so that you know exactly what to do, what to say when you first see a woman that you want to approach, how to get an instant day and what to do when you’re on that date so that you don’t out of things to say, and that she sees you in the best light possible, and that you have a great date:


Number – Magic Wand Massager

And then finally, number one, my personal favorite is the magic wand massager. Because not only is it great to use on yourself when your legs are aching or you have any type of joint or muscle pain, but you can use it with a woman at the end of your date.

I usually just keep it out next to my bed and she’ll see it and say, what does that do? Then you just say, let me show you. And then you start massaging her back.

You can start massaging her legs. It feels really good. And it can definitely help lead things to intimacy, but not only that, but if you’re with a woman who has trouble having an orgasm, the magic wand massager will definitely do the trick!

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That’s all for now, man! Make sure to check out our YouTube channel and our website if you’re interested in more of our free content. Till next time, cheers!

do women like being approached

Do Women Like Being Approached?

Do women like being approached? Our International Dating Coach, Jules Bia asks the women of Vancouver about their most memorable times when men have approached them. You won’t believe what they say!

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We’ve got boot camps WORLDWIDE, man. You’ll learn more than just the answer to the questions in this video..

We’ll be there to guide you to your path to becoming a better man – the best version of yourself! That way, your a MAN that attracts women NATURALLY, not one of those sleazy, manipulative, shallow men who only settle for unsatisfying relationships.

If you want us to personally train you, then APPLY HERE for mentorship!

A good number of men absolutely HATE approaching, talking to, and interacting with women. Why? Because they feel its a big, messy, complicated process!

News flash, it does not have to be that way. Our training has opened the eyes of countless men worldwide. They discovered all the things they THOUGHT they were doing right were actually huge mistakes. And that a few tweaks in their beliefs and mentality has done wonders for them.

Getting a newfound confidence and view in life has helped our students improve their interaction with women. Once a natural flow of confidence that comes from a powerful mindset comes in, the road to improvement for the guys became instantly smoother.

Women don’t hate men. They don’t hate approaches. They hate the WRONG kind of approaches!

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how to approach girls that are working

How To Approach Girls That Are Working

We’ve had tons of students and fans asking us how to approach girls that are working. So here you go, man! Matt and the team with some INFIELD approaches and tips about approaching women while at work:


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Remember, if you see an attractive woman, never let the opportunity slip by! Even when she’s working, at the right time, and at the right moment, there’s always the chance to talk to her and get her number (or social media!). You can even ask for a date right then and there. And that’s IF you play your cards right.

That’s why we said don’t try this UNLESS you’ve got the BALLS and the proper MINDSET. Approaching girls who are working requires certain ground rules – especially if you don’t want to ruin it by getting her (or YOU) in trouble with her boss or disturbing a potential customer for her.

Don’t worry, Coach Matt and Coach Jules have you covered. Listen to their advice, and approaching women in the workplace will eventually come naturally for you. BETTER YET Join us in our mentorship programs and boot camps!

Make sure to watch our other infield videos, tip videos, how to videos, wing girl advice videos! We’ve got more to come, so Subscribe, hit that notification bell and leave us a like!