how to deal with rejection

How to Deal with Rejection

When it happens, you’re not actually dying. But it sure as hell feels like it. I’m talking about REJECTION. And that’s what we’ll be talking about today: How to deal with rejection.

Yeah, rejection sucks. It feels like a visceral gut-punch straight to your confidence. It can knock a guy out for days (even weeks) and make him swear to a life of celibacy just to never experience it again…

But today, I will show you how to stop being afraid of rejection – and instead – use it to your advantage.

That’s right, you can turn rejection into your most attractive “asset” and we’ll show you how in today’s video:

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HOW TO DEAL WITH REJECTION

It’s inevitable. It happens.

But, it doesn’t have to be the end of the world. Often times, we allow rejection to dictate how we see ourselves and how we feel about ourselves. In some cases, we get angered by rejection and lash out at the individual rejecting us. Neither of these options is a healthy or viable solution. Today I’m going to discuss how you can stop identifying rejection as a negative occurrence, what to do when you get rejected, and how to remain positive about dating no matter what.

Stop Assigning Blame

  • Cognitive Distortionsthoughts that cause individuals to perceive reality inaccurately. According to the cognitive model of Beck, a negative outlook on reality sometimes called negative schemas (or schemata), is a factor in symptoms of emotional dysfunction and poorer subjective well being. Specifically, negative thinking patterns cause negative emotions.
    • During difficult circumstances, these distorted thoughts can contribute to an overall negative outlook on the world and a depressive or anxious mental state.
  • You” were not rejected – here’s why: your actions were rejected. You as a person are much more than your actions. Therefore, you as a total person were not rejected. Don’t think of it as “you” as a whole being rejected, rather, it was your actions that were rejected.
  • Stop generalizing (ex. X event “always” happens to me)

You Are Never Guaranteed A Yes (Nor Are You Entitled To It)

  • Rejection doesn’t mean anyone is at fault
  • Rejection says nothing about your value as a person
  • Every experience is different, what worked with one person may not work with another/ One size does NOT fit all

Think of Rejection As An Opportunity

  • Stop obsessing over rejection
  • Rejection means you still have opportunities to grow
  • When one tactic does not work, it is a chance to get creative and try new things

What To Do After You Get Rejected

  • Thank the other person for their time
  • Spend time with people that bring out your best self
  • Stop the self-criticizing/negative feelings/voices before they can start
  • Do something that makes you happy/feel good about yourself
  • Some things you can do to help you overcome rejection

At the end of the day, rejection is inevitable. Whether it’s in business, personal life, or relationships, you will experience rejection at some point. What’s important to remember is that it doesn’t mean your world is ending. It’s simply a part of life and one that you are fully capable of overcoming.

If you need even more help, try the rejection exercise. In this exercise, participants specifically aim to get rejected. Maybe this is by going to Starbucks and asking for a discount.

The point of this exercise is putting yourself is low-risk situations where you get rejected but desensitize yourself to the experience of being rejected. This way, being rejected doesn’t have to be the enemy. You’ll learn to get out of your head when speaking to a woman because you won’t be so terrified of being turned down.


That’s all for now guys! Make sure you keep updated for more tips!
Cheers!
meeting women

Watch Out For These 6 Dating Red Flags (Know When To Avoid These Women)

Have you ever started dating a girl and get straight BLINDED by the fact that a girl’s so HOT, only to find out weeks later that she’s CRAZY as f*ck?

Most of us, if we haven’t seen them before, are oblivious to RED FLAGS that could save us weeks or even MONTHS of torture.

In this video, Duke reveals 6 RED FLAGS that signal you to step on the brakes. So before you go to the POINT OF NO RETURN, check out these LIFE-SAVING tips on dating and relationships!

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Discover How To Go on Instant Dates With Women Only Minutes After Meeting Them!

Download the Instant Date Breakdown Video here


Meeting Women:

6 Dating Red Flags

I’m going to tell you about my buddy who, like most guys, couldn’t tell if a girl was crazy or not until it was too late. Also If you’re new here, make sure to subscribe and click the bell, so you don’t miss out when we release new content.

A few years back, I had a buddy – a tall, good-looking Croatian guy – who came to me for help. I got him approaching girls on his college campus and in local bars, and in a few weeks, he started lining up dates. Excited with his newfound skills, he started dating a whole bunch of girls, but he began to continually get into situations where girls would flip out on him, misinterpret his messages, and string him along.

One whole summer, he dated a bunch of girls who would just give him dramatic moment after dramatic moment — one, in particular, would CONSTANTLY nag him to find out where he was at, and flip out when he wasn’t instantly available. EXASPERATED, he told me; WHAT’S THE POINT OF DATING GIRLS IF I CAN’T FIND ONE THAT FITS?

Just because she’s beautiful, doesn’t mean she’s compatible with you. That’s an important word; Compatible. Before you start investing a considerable amount of time with a girl, you want to make sure she’s qualified!

What’s the purpose of Dating?

  • Dating is QUALIFICATION for her fitness in your future (and vice versa)
    • You qualify for status (husband/wifey boyfriend/girlfriend, etc.)
    • You qualify for romantic compatibility
    • You qualify for values and standards

Relationship goals vary, but you can future-proof whatever your goals are by looking out for these red flags. Have you ever dated someone and thought, after the fact… WTF was I thinking?

Why do we do this to ourselves? We don’t pay attention… that is, we’re not MINDFUL when our brains are overtaken by her beauty. There’s a couple of reasons for this;

Love is blind during the Infatuation/Honeymoon stage.

There’s always that stage where everything seems perfect, and that’s always what happens in the first part of the relationship. Because we get all that hits of dopamine and serotonin in our system the first time we get with her, the body perceives everything as joy and reward – oblivious to any wrong that may come your way. When the initial phase fades, and all the hormones are back on track, you get shocked when you realize everything was all a dream and that’s she’s actually one crazy person!

Your own boundaries are too fluid/ You’ll take anything/You don’t have standards.

Now I want you to get this because it’s SO VITAL to do so you don’t settle for less than what you want in a partner. You’ll end up living a miserable life.


The Red Flags in Dating

Here are some signs to watch out for, with specific examples. After I list these, I’ll tell you how to make SURE you’re reading the signs right, so you never have a question whether to see this relationship play out or to cut the cord early and save some time.

  • They Have An External Locus Of Control
    That is; they blame the outside environment, circumstance, or other people for the results (positive or negative) in their lives.
    – She justifies being Overdramatic
    – She talks badly about her exes
    – She blames you for her mood or emotions.
  • Their Social Group’s Values Aren’t Similar To Your Own
    – You think her friends are tools
    – Her friends think SHE’S a tool
  • They Act Entitled To Their Requests
    – She treats waiters badly
    – She makes you do all the work.
    – She’s unappreciative
    -She never says thank you
    -She has stories of how ungrateful she is of other people’s generosity
  • You Two Are Incompatible
    – You guys argue all the damn time
    – You don’t share core values or life goals
    – She doesn’t seem to admire you or be proud of your mission
    – She doesn’t consider your feedback
    – She tries to convince you she’s not like this most times
    – She doesn’t respect boundaries.
  • They Suck At Relationships In General
    – She has a bad relationship with her family
    – She just broke up with somebody else
    – She has commitment issues.
  • They Play Power Games
    – She’s inflexible
    – She’s violent
    – She’s controlling your time
    – She uses blame, guilt, or punishment to get you to change your behavior
    -She uses sex as a weapon, withholds affection, appreciation, etc.
    -She keeps score, throwing back your offenses or fuckups.

How To Spot Red Flags

Spotting these red flags can be tricky since people are pretty dynamic… but by knowing HOW to read these signs, you can get pretty good at filtering out people who aren’t qualified. If you’re taking notes, write these two tips down, because they make figuring out red flags super simple.

Look for consistent themes, not one-off experiences.

“A sample of one only shows that behavior exists. It’s not sufficient to determine frequency” – Johnny Soporno

Communicate your concerns early.

If you see something that seems out of place, Communicate your concerns early, and gauge reactions with Presence and a Qualification frame of mind.

Remember. Just because she’s HOT doesn’t mean she’s NOT CRAZY. If you’re ever going to be happy with the girl you’re dating you can’t rush into things. You might not know what you’re getting yourself into! Don’t Invest your time, money, and feelings on the wrong girl for you.


Now to show you how easy it is to meet girls in real life, I’m going to hook you up with free training where Matt breaks down hidden camera footage of him meeting a random girl on the street and taking her on a date right then and there. You can attract a girl, in 3 minutes or less, too!

Yup, he breaks down exactly what to say to create a romantic vibe from the beginning and escalate a date quickly.

Click the link below to access it!  Go ahead and check it out now.

Download the Instant Date Breakdown Video here

And if you want us to show you how to meet women personally, click here to check out the live Bootcamp Schedule.

I’m out! Cheers!


how to approach a girl

Learn How to Approach a Girl or Women | The Attractive Man

Most men don’t know how to approach a girl correctly. The fact is that most guys get nervous at the thought of approaching a girl. Whether it’s to get her number, to pick her up, or even just to get to know her – Most men find it difficult to overcome this essential first step.

Whether you’re young or old, our guidelines will help you approach women effortlessly and successfully!

We are the go-to experts when it comes to approaching women. We’ve conducted boot camps in 40 countries, showing men the art of approaching and meeting beautiful women. What we teach is a simple step-by-step system for how to approach women.

So take out your pens and papers because you’re going to want to jot down everything here – have these points handy and go out and meet some ladies.

Now, before we get there, let’s lay down what you need to learn if you want to get the girl.

  1. Inner Game – Having the confidence to approach, and feel comfortable while doing it.
  2. The Approach – Meeting her and getting her attracted.
  3. The Close – Following up later, or taking her home.

If you can wrap your head around these simple steps on how to approach a girl for the first time, you’ll be guaranteed results.

Let’s get started on some concepts that prepare us for our first approach.


What You Need To Know Before You Approach Her

What Is She Looking For When You Approach Her?

how to approach a girl

Hey, what if we told you that you could spark instant attraction within a few moments of approaching her? All you have to know is what her instincts want in a man.

Instinct drives men and women unconsciously. She will know right away after you approach her, if she is attracted to you or not based on her instincts. When you strip everything down to the core, it’s actually instinct that drives our actions, reactions, and feelings towards what’s happening around us.

Back in the cavemen era, women were looking for men that could provide and protect.  She needed a man with confidence, strength, and resources to provide and protect her and her offspring.

Men, on the other hand, instinctively preferred women who were ideal for childbearing and were nurturing for their young. (Which explains why we find women with larger breasts or wide hips more attractive even today.)

So we know that women want a man that can provide and protect her, but how does she know that you can?

Here’s what she is looking for:

How Calm You Are: The most significant thing she will look for is how relaxed you are in her presence. If you are fidgeting or stumbling over your words, she’ll know you’re not the guy for her.

Eye Contact That Shows Desire: Women can tell a lot about you from your eyes. She can see if you’re grounded, or if you’re scared. Also, she can tell if you’re low status or high status. She can also tell if you feel desire towards her. You should look at her like she wishes you were being intimate with her. Make sure to keep your eye contact steady. To help, stay focused on her left eye.

Approaching Without Hesitation: Most guys will have to build up the courage to approach her… and she’ll notice. If you hesitate, you’re toast from the beginning.

High-Status Body Language: She instinctively will read your body language and see if you’re an ideal suitor. The main thing you should know is to move slowly and with purpose. High-status guys don’t fidget and do things sporadically. They move with intention. This slow movement creates tension. And of course, stand tall with good masculine posture.

Proud Facial Expression: Have a proud facial expression because it is proven to be most attractive to women. There should be a slight smile accompanied by it.

High-Status Attire: What you wear says a lot about you, such as whether or not you have access to resources. Present yourself well. However, this doesn’t mean you have to wear a suit everywhere. You can portray high status with a t-shirt and jeans if you pair it with a prestigious watch and shoes.

Loud & Powerful Voice: Project your voice so that you sound sure of yourself. If you are nervous inside, this will usually reveal itself through your voice. So proactively, make it low and strong. (Women are attracted to men with lower voices)

 

 

The Correct Mindset When Approaching Women

When you first approach a girl, having the wrong mindset will throw you off entirely. You may have all the qualities and the potential to bring them out, but when your mind isn’t in the right place, your chances of getting the girl to want you are significantly lower.

If you want to know how to approach a girl with success, here’s the mindset you need to have: “Let’s see if this girl is good enough to be with me.”

Most guys go up to her thinking, “I hope she likes me.” They are primarily trying to impress her or win her over. Here’s the deal… you don’t know anything about her yet, so don’t fall in love with her right away.

If there’s one thing you learn from this post, make it this. Have the mindset that she has to prove herself to you. We’ll talk more about this later.

 

 

How To Eliminate Nerves When Approaching A Girl

You already know that women like a grounded, secure man… so make sure you approach her in a grounded state.

When we’re talking to women, our most significant difficulty is going to be staying in the moment. It’s easy to get caught up in different thoughts like, “What do I say?” or “What if she has a boyfriend?

It’s a high-pressure situation, especially when you’re first starting out. You need a method for controlling negative ideas that will creep up during the interaction. Without a way to deal with it, it will be much harder to build attraction.

Feeling centered can be described fundamentally as being in your body, and out of your head. You’re not concerned about her feelings towards you, as you’re so focused on having a good time and learning about her.

Now, we have a great course that is all about exploding confidence and crushing approach anxiety, which you can find here… But here is one quick tip you can use today.

When you’re feeling overwhelmed with anxiety, take some grounding breaths.

The key to eliminating nerves is to focus on a very long exhale. Take a deep breath in… and then release it with a slow, 10-second exhale.

Try it now and see how you feel. Do several.

I know it sounds too good to be true, but this will instantly calm your nerves and let you focus on her once again. Before you approach her, do at least one grounding breath.

 


How To Approach A Girl During The Day

how to approach a girl during the day

Let’s dive into approaching women during the daytime… our specialty. Primarily you’ll use this if you see a girl walking down the street, at a grocery store, at a coffee shop, bank, school, or anywhere. It just may take a slight modification depending on the situation.   

Here’s our simple framework for the best way to approach a girl and get her number when you approach her during the day.

1. Acknowledge the Reality

Start with giving context to the situation. Giving context helps her understand what you are doing.

For example: “Hi, this is completely random, and I know you’re eating lunch with your friend…

2. Compliment Her

This may sound contrary to what you’ve heard, but it works really well. She knows why you are approaching her so just say it. She’ll appreciate your directness.

Girls respond to honesty more than anything. Make it your goal to say something sincere, something that you actually feel. You don’t need a reason to talk to her, but you need a way to show your intentions.

You’re looking for something direct, but atypical.  Don’t use the words ‘hot’ or ‘sexy’ when you’re opening.

Try something like “Hey, this is really random, and I know you are shopping, but I think you’re adorable.”

The most important is to be genuine when you say it. This will be your go-to when opening in almost any situation. When in doubt, remember this.

We’ll go over some situational openers in later sections, but the idea remains the same.

3. Qualify Her

Remember earlier when I mentioned, that you need to see if she meets YOUR standards? This section is part of that. After you meet her, you want to qualify her and see what type of girl she is.

Guys that have options with girls, naturally do this because they can choose which one they want. So by doing this regularly, it shows that you do not just settle for any girl.

Here are some examples: ” I don’t know anything about you… what’s one cool thing about you because I’m very picky about who I hang out with.”

This question is deceptively complex. We’re essentially saying:

  • I find you attractive.
  • I’m not trying to please you; I’m trying to get to know you.
  • I am used to being around girls that are as attractive as you.
  • I’m not sure if you’re right for me, tell me why you are.

“Tell me something about you… like what are you passionate about?”

This one is simple and opens her up to talk about her passions. Talking about passions are great because it gives you a chance to connect with what is meaningful to her.

Now, a big part of qualifying her is how you say it… You have to have a neutral or high-status tone. You don’t want to sound like any answer she gives will suffice.

If she says something you don’t like, tell her that you don’t like it. Express yourself even if that means you disagree with her. Women love a man that can tell them “No.”

4. Close

You’ve made it to the best part. You’ve worked hard to get to this point, and you’d like to see the reward. There might have been some hiccups during the interaction, but you’ve realized that you want to see her again. So, What are our options?

Instadate – An instant-date is when you take a girl on a date the same day that you met her. This gives you time to talk and get to know her, without having to deal with the logistics of meeting up later.

Be forward when you ask her – Remember, you have a lot of options. Ask her to come for a coffee, tea, lunch or a drink. It’s that simple. Once you’ve built some connection, suggest it to her in a direct way. “Hey, let’s go get some coffee, I know this place across the street.”

Always make sure of these two things:

  1. Be decisive. Pick a place and go for it. As long as it’s not awful, it should be fine.
  2. Don’t ask her to come, say “Let’s go” or “We should.” Lead the way.

Get her number – Avoid asking questions like these directly, ex: “Can I have your number?” She’s been asked these hundreds of times. It also shows a lack of confidence because you are communicating to her that you are not sure if she will give you her number.

Instead, try something along the lines of, “Do you text?” as it’s atypical and pretty direct. Then say, let’s exchange numbers. You will find there are times when women will not want to give out their number.

  • If they get hit on frequently, they may be more inclined to give out a fake number. Just imagine how many texts these girls deal with daily.
  • They consider their number very intimate and don’t want to come off as sleazy.
  • Social Media is just more convenient.

Social Media Close –I’m a millennial, so social media is my go-to when it comes to closing, I’ll go over a few of these quickly.

  • Facebook – Try to avoid if possible, unless your profile is pretty active with a lot of presence. You do not want your profile to say “I have no social life.”
  • Instagram – Similar to Facebook, but it’s much easier to create a significant presence here. Avoid if you’re not very active.
  • Snapchat – My personal favorite. The rate of response is extremely high; you can see which girls are watching your story, etc. Do not send unwarranted nudes. There’s no quicker way to kill attraction.

Your/her Place – The best way to get her back to your place is to give her a reason.

If she thinks that you’re only bringing her home only for sex, most of the time it will not go well. So do not singularly ask “Hey want to come home with me?” because this forces her to make the decision about sleeping with you right there on the spot. There is any number of ways to have her come back to your place, and my favorites are:

  • Do you want to watch a movie/listen to music/look at my art?
  • Do you want to meet my pet?
  • Would you like to play video games/pool/other entertainment?

If things have been highly sexual up to this point, keep them that way. Make sure to demonstrate that you’re not boring and that she’ll have fun if she comes with you.


How To Approach Women In Different Daytime Situations

1. Groups of Girls

You may be scared when you are learning how to approach women, especially groups.

But you shouldn’t be.

When you walk up, hold eye contact with the girl that you like. This is important in all approaches but especially here, as it shows that you’re not just trying to attract whoever wants you the most. That’s needy, anyway.

The most important thing that you have to keep in mind when you’re approaching them is that everyone should be involved, even in the open.

“Hey, I just wanted to tell your friend that she is adorable in every way.”

The best way to continue this is to ask her friend questions about the girl you like.

“What is something interesting about Jessica that she’s passionate about and tries to hide?”

2. Mixed Group – Guy and Girl

One of the most intimidating things for newbies is approaching girls that are with guys. You may fear that the guy is a boyfriend, but believe me, this is less often the case. Most of the time it’s going to be:

  • A friend of hers
  • A family member
  • A stranger who just happens to be hovering around her

We’re going to change things up in a pretty interesting way: We’re going to compliment the guy.

Now, I’m not talking about walking up and complimenting his hipster beard. More specifically, you’re going to notice that he has a beautiful girlfriend and compliment him on that. When you open, say to him directly,

“I don’t mean any disrespect, but I just had to stop for a second to say that your girlfriend is really adorable.”

Now, when you say this, make sure that you’re looking at him when you start but look her in the eyes the moment you deliver the compliment.

This frequently leads to him saying, ”She is not my girlfriend.”  From which you can start talking to the girl as we described above, however, don’t ignore him completely.

3. How To Approach A Girl That’s Walking

how to approach a girl that's walking

First, I’m going to start with what not to do, then follow up with what to openWhen you approach a girl that is walking:

If you are behind her then get at least 6 feet in front of her, then turn around and open to her, with something like: “Hey real quick…”

If she is walking towards you, then first let her pass, try to make eye contact, then repeat the previous steps.  It looks needy if you approach her right away before you can even see who she is. The best way to approach a girl here should be something like: “Hey this is totally random, but I just thought you looked absolutely… adorable.”

If she’s in a hurry, talk about it. “Hey I can tell you’re in a hurry, but I just had to meet you.”

Pretty simple.

4. How To Approach A Girl On Her Phone

You know, I’m not going to complain about people being on their phones too often. It’s honestly overdone.

Approaching while she’s busy can be advantageous simply because it’s high risk. Women love men who are bold and go for exactly what they want.

She’ll appreciate that. One thing that you always want to do is address the fact that what you’re doing is out of the social norm.

We’ll say something like this: “Hey, I know you’re on the phone, and it’s so rude to interrupt, but I had to risk it and tell you that you are absolutely beautiful.”

Don’t be worried if she ends up staying on the call and not pursuing you. She may be on an important call, so don’t overthink into it.

5. How To Approach A Girl At A Coffee Shop

Coffee shops are great places to approach women. You’ll find a lot of business-oriented chicks and hipsters, which makes this place amazing in my book.

We’ll open with something situational like this: “Hey, I can see that you’re studying/reading/working, but I just had to come over and say hi.”

Whatever she is doing, don’t be afraid to talk about it when you open. It’s just fluff, but it shows you’re interested in more than just her looks.

Girls are most likely seated here. Don’t just jump into a seat before you open. After you’ve talked to her for a moment, grab a seat while talking, but first give a time constraint. As you sit, say “I’ll sit down for a minute before I have to get back…”

Don’t force it. It should feel natural.

6. How To Approach A Girl At The Gym

I recommend that you open with something like “Hi, I don’t think we’ve met yet. My name is ____.

This opener implies that you are social and know people there. From there, just do the standard daytime approach we discussed earlier.

I shouldn’t have to say this, but do not stop her while she’s busy doing cardio or if she’s mid-rep. Wait until she is resting.


Night Game How To Approach a Girl at Bars & Clubs

Women get hit on at bars/clubs all the time. Distinguishing yourself here is the absolute key to success.

To stand out, demonstrate:

  • That you’re a high-status man,
  • You’re confident at socializing, and
  • You are a ton of fun to be with

I cannot emphasize enough how important being ‘fun’ isPeople go out on weekends to let off steam and to let loose after a hard week. The attention spans are short, and the sex-drives are high. Opening in a fun and high energy state usually works well.

How To Approach A Girl In A Bar

If there’s only one thing I could say about bars, I would say: You need to be social from the moment you enter. Even socialize beforehand if possible. This builds momentum and puts you into a social state.

Right when you walk into the bar, start talking. When you order a drink, banter with the bartender. The first girl you see, approach. A good opener in the bar is “Hi, I don’t think we’ve met yet. My name is ____.”

It’s simple and direct. From there you’ll want to banter and escalate.

For more bar openers, download The Conversation Cheat Sheet here.

You’ll be able to socialize all over the place in a bar, so don’t stick to the actual bar too much. There should be a lot of places to open new girls.

Try not to wander around too much. This is what the average guy does, and it makes you seem lost.

Sidenote: Do not offer drinks when you first meet a girl. It’s what a lot of guys do, and it makes you seem like you have an agenda, as if you’re trying to buy your way into her pants. Only buy her a drink after you’ve talked to her for a while. That’s actually pretty cool.

How To Approach A Girl In A Nightclub

how to approach a girl

Be very loud. In certain countries or cities, nightclubs can be extremely noisy. The vibe that you’re giving off if you’re quiet is either that you’re not having fun, or that you don’t have the confidence to speak up.

Do not wander around aimlessly in nightclubs. The majority of girls are going to be cycling through the bar, dance floor, bathroom on repeat.

That means you should be dancing, not standing on the dancefloor, to get maximum exposure to everyone in the venue.

When you’re on the dance floor, try to make eye contact with the girl you like. After you make eye contact, walk over and give her the “hand of god.” Fully extend your arm and reach out towards her, inviting her to dance. This is a bold move, so make sure you have a confident smile on your face when you do this.

When she takes your hand, spin her around, and start dancing with her. Make sure to introduce yourself at this point, but don’t have a long conversation while dancing.

After a song or two, invite her to get a drink with you. This will give you some time to talk and flirt with her. After you get drinks, take her someplace quieter so you two can continue talking.

Do not try to get her to come to your place early. This usually won’t work because she’s there to have fun. This is especially true before midnight.

Make sure to number/social media close early in the interaction because she could leave or wander off at any moment. This should become habitual on your part.

Approaching On The Street

Street game after 12-1am is another opportunity to meet women that want to go home with a guy.

Why is that? Women have had fun all night, so their chance to expand or extend their night by going home with you is extremely high. We refer to this as buying temperature.

It means that if they’ve had a great night, they are so hyped up that it’s easy to close. In fact, much easier than it would be at any other time during the week.

You can, and should, be very direct. If they are walking out of the venue, you have roughly 5-10 minutes to close.

A good opener would be: “You’re cute, and I want to talk to you.”  If you vibe exceptionally well after you open, you have to be quick about getting logistics.

Ask them:

  • What are you doing now?
  • Who are you here with?
  • How far away do you live?
  • What are you doing tomorrow?

Get through one if not all of these fast.

Final Thoughts

Master the art of approaching women, and you’ll see an abundance of women in your life. It takes time to master this skill, but keep at it.

Just remember, the game is a skillset, one that you can always improve. You should see it as an opportunity instead of an obstacle.


how to be attractive to women

How To Plant The Idea In Her Mind That She’s Going Home With You

Wanna discover yet again how to be attractive to women? Do you know why bringing home a girl you just met is called getting luckyIt’s called that because most guys don’t know what they did differently to bring “this” girl home.

When I first got started on this journey, I remember it was like walking on an Indiana Jones wobbly bridge. Sometimes I would go home alone, frustrated that I spent all that time out with nothing to show for it. Other times, I was having some of the best adventures of my life that made those hours out all worth it.

Even with these amazing nights, there was still a problem.

I didn’t know what I was doing differently with girls I left with compared to the girls that went nowhere. And I didn’t know how to be attractive to women in a way that delivered consistent results.

how to be attractive to women

Finally, after some reading and research, I figured it out.

I figured out one of the key “techniques” you need to use to help you consistently cross that bridge from a stranger to a lover.

If you’ve been studying the game or going through some of our courses, you know that there are 5 fundamentals of closing.

The overarching theme of these techniques, by the way, is that you’re proactive about the pull.

Most guys get lucky because they talk and talk and talk and then at the end of the night ask the girl, “Want to go to my place?”

Instead, what made my results more consistent was being proactive about bringing a girl home from the moment I started the interaction.

Now, there are a lot of elements that go into getting a girl attracted to you, comfortable with you and then seducing her, but what I want to talk about today is one technique that is very powerful when it comes to proactively bringing a girl home.

Planting The Seed That She Is Going Home With You

The technique I want to talk about today is “Seeding the pull.”

If you don’t know, it’s like the movie Inception; plant the idea in the girls head that you two will be hanging out later.

It’s like when a friend says to you, “After the bar let’s go hang out at my house.”

When you agree, you now have the idea that after the bar you’re heading to your friend’s place.

We want to have the girl in that position. The way to do this is planting the seed early.  I like to do this while getting the logistics.

For example, if I want to know if a girl lives near me, I’ll ask where she’s from. If she lives near me, I’ll plant the idea that we’re hanging out later.

My favorite one is, “Let’s go grab food after this.

When I meet a girl, I’m quick to ask where she’s from and plant the idea, “Let’s get food later.” All this happens within the first 5 minutes. This line works well during the day after an instant date for coffee or trying to bring a girl home from the club.

If you want to know how to be attractive to women in a way that provides consistent results, it’s also crucial that you keep reminding her of that seed you planted. Water it, so it grows.

Once I plant the seed of getting food later, I’ll keep bringing up the topic of food. “What’s your favorite food? Where do you normally go out to eat? My favorite place to go to after this is XYZ. I’m looking forward to going to XYZ after this.

The reason I like to use grabbing food is that usually, it’s a bit tougher to build comfort in a nightclub than if you two were sitting down somewhere. If you’ve been following us or studying the game, you’ll know a girl needs attraction and comfort before seduction, and the game is mainly played in comfort.

how to be attractive to women

Also, I don’t know about you, but after a night out I’m usually hungry and so is the girl, so I find “grabbing food” is an easier win than trying to go straight to your place. Remember, you want to baby step her to your place meaning you visit a few places along the journey of where you first meet to your place.

Some other ideas are, let’s go grab a drink at XYZ place (like a lounge or bar with little distractions), after party at my place, come see my pet, I got to show you that funny video I mentioned earlier, or any other idea you can come up with.

Repeating makes the idea more real. I’m exaggerating but if she said yes 100 times to grabbing a pizza later, when you finally say, “Let’s go grab a pizza,” she can’t say no. Oh, and the reason I normally go for pizza is that it’s one of those foods that almost everyone likes and you can get it by the slices, so it’s quick, easy and doesn’t get the girl full to the point where she’s passing out.

Planting the seed also makes that transition of moving from one place to the next so much smoother.

If I’m out and want to bring a girl back, it’s so much easier when I plant the seed than what I used to do. What I used to do was not say anything at all about us hanging out later today until the very end.

Only when she was about to leave did I ask, “Do you want to come over?” It’s too random, out of the blue, and you didn’t get a chance to build it up.

When you made it clear that you guys are grabbing food after this and she agreed, then saying, “Let’s grab food” and leading the way is the logical next step. She is going to go with you.

Here’s a simple structure you can use to plant a seed successfully:

Imagine where you are a girl and where you want to be is a bridge. Use what’s on the other side to plant the seed. And that seed will grow into your bridge to get across.

Say I’m at a coffee shop with a girl, and I know I want to bring her to a quick place to grab food near me. I’ll plant the idea that, “Hey, I want to take you to one of my favorite restaurants real quick after our coffee.

I wouldn’t wait to say this until she’s about to leave. I’d say this while we’re waiting for our coffee. And I would say it as early as possible, so I can build up the idea that, “You are going to love this place. They have the coolest….”

Make her want to cross that bridge with you.

When it’s time to go, there’s a smooth transition. You don’t have to be Harry Houdini and pull a trick out of your sleeves trying to convince the girl to go to the next place. You already agreed to that 20 minutes ago.

Your Weekend Mission (If you choose to accept)

Beginners: Reflect on your last 3 approaches. Did you plant any seeds to extend the interaction?

Make at least 5 approaches with the goal of getting an instant date. Try planting the seed to go from the instant date to the next spot.

If you don’t get the instant date, plant the seed for meeting up in the future (good way to transition into getting her number). “Since you can’t grab coffee/drink now, what day are you free?…Alright, let’s grab a coffee then. What’s your number so I can text you?

Advanced: Reflect on your last 3 approaches. Did you plant any seeds to extend the interaction?

Make at least 10 approaches with the goal of getting an instant date. Try planting the seed to go from the instant date to the next spot. If you don’t get the instant date, plant the seed for meeting up in the future (good way to transition into getting her number).

If you do night game, make 5 approaches and try to isolate a girl by baby stepping her to another part of the bar (to grab drinks, get fresh air, hit the dance floor, explore another part of the venue, etc.) Try and “baby step” her back to your place.

Alright, guys, there’s the tip of the week!

Be sure to go out there and start implementing it RIGHT AWAY. Success loves the speed of implementation.

If you like tips like these, then I would highly recommend you check out The Language of Attraction or attend a BOOTCAMP.

Don’t know what The Language of Attraction is?

This is all about the conversation. You’ll know how to attract beautiful women anyplace, anytime, and in any situation.

This is the only program that uses your own unique personality to attract women.

Other “gurus” will try to mold you to be exactly like them…. They’ll have you dress like them and act like them even if that’s not who you really are.

We’ll show you what naturally attracts women.  Click Here For More Details

Interested in a BOOTCAMP?

We’re going to be in Las Vegas, Cancun, New York City, Los Angeles, Miami, Brazil, Argentina, Colombia, Spain, Germany, Sweden, Bulgaria, Cyprus, Thailand, Dubai, India, Australia and that’s us just getting started.

If you’re serious about getting results with women FAST, then this is your ticket.

Here are a few things we’ll cover:

  • Discover a POWERFUL way to approach, attract, number close, and get dates during the day!
  • Destroy your approach anxiety and spark instant attraction with your body language as you get women to CHASE YOU!
  • Get Tons of infield practice, real-life drills, role-playing, and instant feedback on your interactions to make approaching women completely second nature!

Click Here To Find Out More

keep the conversation going

How To Keep The Conversation Going

Have you ever sparked a conversation with a girl only to have it fizzle out? Want to know how to keep the conversation going?

You get it going, but then you’re not sure what to say next. Then there’s that dreaded awkward pause that lingers in the air making every second feel like an eternity.


So what do you do? Maybe you asked a question. And then another question. And then another. As you keep going, you know you should stop, yet you don’t know what else to say… So you just keep asking question after question.

how to keep the conversation going

That’s when the girl says, “I have to meet up with my friends” or any number of excuses to escape.

Last week I found myself in a similar situation. The first few approaches are always the hardest to get out of the way. Going from working all week to being a sociable fun guy takes me a few approaches.

My best advice is to treat the first 3 approaches when going out as throwaways. They don’t count. Your goal is to get them done as soon as possible.

Secondly, you want to build momentum in-between approaches by asking yourself, what do I want to focus on in my next approach?”

When I found myself awkwardly standing there with nothing to say, my focus for the next approach was to “keep the conversation going.”

For this week’s tip, I thought it would be useful to share some ideas that will take you beyond how to approach a girl. And that’s how to keep the conversation going and never run out of things to say.

The Two Tips are:

(1) Multiple Threads

(2) Conversational Hooks

“Multiple threads” is when you have multiple conversational topics (threads) going on at once. This is better than moving linearly from one topic to the next. This is one of the best ways to never run out of things to say.

We naturally do this with our friends. We don’t just stay on one topic all the way to exhaustion. The conversation usually switches between different subjects.

For example, say you meet a girl who has a dog and say, “I love dogs, what type is it?” A linear conversation would be sticking to the subject of “her dog.” Which, would look like this: “I love dogs, what type is it?…..Where did you get it from?…..How long have you had it?…..What’s his name?”

You can see how sticking to the same topic quickly gets boring.

“Multiple threads” is the idea of introducing new subjects to the conversation. Building off our example, it would look like this: “I love dogs, what type is it?….My family actually has two dogs. One for my sister and one for my dad. You look like the type of girl who’s the youngest sibling….You know what I just noticed, you look like the adventurous type. Are you?

In the second example, I introduced new topics such as family and if she’s adventurous.

When you introduce topics, you can either build off something she said or just change subjects.

“Conversational hooks” are what help you introduce new conversational topics. It supplements our first tip to help you never run out of things to say.

Hooks are something a girl says that you can comment, ask about, relate to or share a story on. Listen for “keywords” to come up with new hooks.

These “keywords” aren’t necessarily the most important words she said. They are words you can use to introduce new conversation topics.

Essentially, you are using conversational hooks (keywords) to start multiple threads (topics/subjects).

These ideas will help you transition into deeper conversations, never run out of things to say and make the conversation more interesting for both of you.

how to talk to women, keep the conversation going

Here’s an example that explains both ideas:

Imagine you’re telling me about your recent trip through Europe. You say, “My favorite country was Italy because of the amazing food, the romantic ambiance and the beautiful cafes on every street corner.

While I’m actively listening, I’m paying attention to any “keywords” that I can build off of and introduce new topics (threads).

In this example, I can ask a question on “What were some of your favorite dishes?” I can comment on how it was the Italian coffee bars that inspired the CEO of Starbucks to make it what it is today. I can relate by sharing my experiences traveling through Italy. I can also share a story of my recent trip through Europe.

Most guys get ahead of themselves. They make the mistake of thinking about what they are going to say next opposed to listening to what the other person said.


 

If you really are listening, the other person usually gives you everything you need to keep the conversation going.

In the example above, there are many “keywords” I could’ve used to start a new “subject.

That one sentence alone, the “keywords” are Europe, traveling, favorite countries, Italy, food, romance, and cafes. You could use anyone to keep the conversation going.

Now, back to the idea of using multiple “threads.” (See what I did there? I’m revisiting a previous conversation topic)

One thread is how Italy was your favorite country while traveling through Europe.

If I use “traveling” as a “keyword,” I could share a story of my recent travels through Europe. Doing so, I introduce another topic. That way I will never run out of things to say!

I could share how I recently did a cruise through France, Italy, and Spain and by far my favorite city was Barcelona.

What are some “keywords” you could use to keep the conversation going?

Some ideas to talk about are traveling, Europe, France, Italy, Spain, favorite cities, Barcelona, beaches, and cities. All these ideas can be used to start another topic.

So far we have two conversational topics: your trip through Europe and my trip through Europe.

Once we continue to talk about Barcelona and I start running out of things to say, I can easily jump back to our first “topic” about your travel through Europe and say “What other countries did you visit on your trip?

When you’re paying attention to keywords, whenever the convo starts to die you can easily start a new topic.

If you remember from our first example of you traveling through Europe, the potential keywords are Europe, traveling, favorite countries, Italy, food, romance, and cafes.

Whenever the convo starts to slow down, I can make a comment, ask a question, relate to or share a story based off any one of those hooks. I can keep the conversation going, and will never run out of things to say.

Here’s another example before you go:

Imagine I tell you, “Last weekend I met up with a good friend from high school that flew into NYC from San Diego. I had a great time showing her around the city.”

What are some “keywords” that can give you ideas on how to keep the conversation going?

You can ask, comment, relate to or share a story about: Old friends, high school friends, flying, traveling, NYC, San Diego, California, East Coast, West Coast, what did we do, and exploring a new city. You have so many things to talk about; you can never run out of things to say.

You could ask, “What did you two do in the city?” You could comment on how great it is that I still stay in touch with an old high school friend. You could relate to how an old friend showed you around a new city and how much more fun that experience was. You could share a story about the last time you were in California and how much you loved it.

If you are actively listening, you’ll find it’s easier than you think to keep the conversation going. And you’ll never run out things to say anymore!

Remember, DON’T think of what to say next… just listen and pay attention to any “keywords” you could use to add a new “topic.

Your Weekend Mission (If you choose to accept)

  1. Beginners: Make 3 approaches with the focus of keeping the conversation going through the use of multiple threads and listening for hooks. Aim to make the next approach longer than the one before.  
  2. Advanced: Same as beginners but 5 approaches. They only count if you can make the conversation longer than 5 minutes.

Alright, guys, there’s the tip of the week!

Be sure to go out there and start implementing it RIGHT AWAY. Success loves the speed of implementation.


If you like tips like these, then I would highly recommend you check out The Language of Attraction or attend a BOOTCAMP.

Don’t know what The Language of Attraction is?

This is all about the conversation. You’ll know how to attract beautiful women anyplace, anytime, and in any situation.

This is the only program that uses your own unique personality to attract women.

Other “gurus” will try to mold you to be exactly like them…. They’ll have you dress like them and act like them even if that’s not who you really are.

We’ll show you what naturally attracts women.  Click Here For More Details

Interested in a BOOTCAMP?

We’re going to be in Las Vegas, Cancun, New York City, Los Angeles, Miami, Brazil, Argentina, Colombia, Spain, Germany, Sweden, Bulgaria, Cyprus, Thailand, Dubai, India, Australia and that’s us just getting started.

If you’re serious about getting results with women FAST, then this is your ticket.

Here are a few things we’ll cover:

  • Discover a POWERFUL way to approach, attract, number close, and get dates during the day!
  • Destroy your approach anxiety and spark instant attraction with your body language as you get women to CHASE YOU!
  • Get Tons of infield practice, real-life drills, role-playing, and instant feedback on your interactions to make approaching women completely second nature!

Click Here To Find Out More