Hey guys, it’s Nicole! I’ll be sharing more stuff about how to flirt with girls! Did you know there are creepy things guys do that instantly turns girls off?!
When you first approach and try to flirt with a girl, if you make her feel even a LITTLE creeped out, she’s going to lose interest. You can be a great guy, but if you don’t follow certain “rules” per se, it’s easy to scare her away.
I’m going to tell you five mistakes that most guys make, and how a girl actually wants you to flirt with her so you can avoid being labeled as a creep:
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5 CREEPY THINGS GUYS DO THAT TURNS GIRL OFF
Approaching someone new, and flirting with them can be super nerve-wracking. We’ve ALL been there. When meeting a new girl, an important thing to remember is that she will feel nervous too!
Meeting anyone new can be a little tense. If you can do something to release that nervous tension, then you’ve got a great chance. A girl wants to feel safe and at ease in your presence. That’s what attracts women. If you create awkward tension by coming across even a little creepy, she’s going to be on guard and you’re going to lose her interest.
MISTAKE 1: They don’t approach after making eye contact!
The first mistake I’ve seen a lot of guys make is that they take FOREVER to approach after making eye contact. When I’m out with my girlfriends, you can guarantee there’s going to be at least one guy that night who makes eye contact with one of us across the room. And then continues to stare over at you for 10-15 mins until they gain the courage to approach.
If you think you’re being fun and playing hard to get building that “Will they/ won’t they?” vibe across the bar, you’re wrong.
The only thing you’ve succeeded in doing is giving off stalker vibes and making the girl feel really uncomfortable knowing you’re even there. You need to approach quickly after making eye contact. Maybe catch her eye once or twice or even three times and then approach. This will make you seem confident and secure and will help her feel more at ease.
MISTAKE 2: They get too close!
The second mistake a lot of guys make is getting too close, too soon. My neighbor, a single guy, asked me a good question the other day… “What if you can’t make eye contact because it’s crowded or you just can’t seem to catch a girl’s glance? What do you do?”
This is a great question because what you do here can definitely make or break your chances. If you can’t get her attention easily, it’s definitely okay to approach her still! You’ve just got to make sure you do it the right way.
The best guideline to remember here is to respect her personal bubble. You don’t want her to feel threatened or nervous by you before you even get the chance to flirt! I have had guys approach me in a bar who tap my shoulder and when I turn around, they are literally five inches from my face!
This will immediately put any girl on edge. If you need to tap someone on the shoulder to get their attention, that’s great, but do it with an arm’s length between you and approach from the side if you can!
MISTAKE 3: They don’t know what to say!
Okay, so you’ve approached the girl… now what? This seems like basic advice but you need to approach with confidence and you NEED to have something to say to her! Practice this in a mirror, or with a friend, or anything you need to do. We also have an article about approaching a girl who doesn’t speak the same language as you!
Keep the conversation light, use a silly pickup line, or make a joke, or you can even tease her a little… but make sure you have SOMETHING to say other than “Hey, I’m so and so.”
Just this weekend, A guy, with whom I had made eye contact a couple times, came up to me and said “Hey, I’m Bryan” and I smiled and said “Hey! I’m Nicole, nice to meet you.” and then he kind of dropped his head and was silent for like the longest 5 seconds and then goes… “uhhh so are you from around here?”
Needless to say, this conversation went nowhere. After you introduce yourself, you can, and should, make a flirty comment… maybe compliment something she’s wearing, or her eyes or smile… ANYthing about her! Then use your surroundings as topic cues! Are you at a new bar or an old favorite? Talk about that!
If you’re in a coffee shop or store, make comments about your order or tell a story about something you see. By using your surroundings as cues, you can keep the conversation relevant and interactive for BOTH of you. Finding common ground can be a little awkward for anyone, so using cues around you is an easy way to get an idea of what a person likes and thinks.
MISTAKE 4: The Creepy Stare!
Making TOO much eye contact.
This can get a little tricky to find the right balance, but just as the guy who wouldn’t make eye contact with me was weird, making too much eye contact is equally, if not more, creepy. My good friend went on a date recently and the guy made a comment about how her eyes were really pretty… and then basically didn’t look away from them!
Even when she looked away, and tried to distract his gaze, he would immediately return to looking her straight in the eye. This is obviously an extreme example but it’s important to find a good balance that you’re both comfortable with.
MISTAKE 5: Too touchy-feely!
Too much or unwelcome physical contact can also make a girl feel creeped out. This absolutely differs from girl to girl but you need to pay attention to her body language. Not only how much, but the way, you touch her really matters.
You definitely want to establish a touching interaction fairly soon in the convo, but these first physical interactions need to be light and quick. A nice touch on the arm or shoulder, or maybe at the small of her back if you’re walking… these are all great! Keep it playful! Don’t wrap your arm around her or anything like that just yet. That can make her feel trapped or uneasy.
If you’re having a chat and playfully touch her arm and she smiles and continues talking, then you’re probably good to do that again. She’ll most likely even reciprocate during the conversation. Also, if you touch her and she kinda pulls away or takes a step back, doing it again is probably going to make her feel uncomfortable.
Just because she pulled away doesn’t mean she’s not into you! If the conversation is still going well, it may just mean she’s not ready for that kind of interaction yet. Continue flirting and pay attention to body language, and she’ll let you know when she’s ready. If the conversation dies and feels awkward after a touch, that’s a pretty clear sign that she’s not into it, so you’ll know to make a nice exit and not waste your time with someone who’s not interested.
So I’ve covered the 5 mistakes – a lot of these things are actually EASILY AVOIDABLE as they are kind of based on a lack of confidence or nervousness. If you want to lose that approach anxiety and explode your confidence, we put together a free Confidence Cheat Sheet that gives you just what you need to gain the strength to approach a girl you like!
I’m out for now! Bye!