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how to pick up girls

How to Pick Up Girls at a Bar

Lots of girls in bars WANT to meet a guy!

The problem is that most guys just go to a bar “hoping to get lucky.” 

And even if they do get “lucky,” it’s probably not with the girl they REALLY want.

So in today’s video, Duke shares the TWO KEYS to picking up girls in bars and clubs. (Remember these two things next time you go out)

He also shares some specific ways to stop being boring with girls. (After all, girls are out to have fun)

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-Download the Conversation Cheat Sheet for more on what to say to her. 


Let us personally show you how to meet women: see our live Bootcamp Schedule here.

I’m out! Cheers!

how to approach a girl

Learn How to Approach a Girl or Women | The Attractive Man

Most men don’t know how to approach a girl correctly. The fact is that most guys get nervous at the thought of approaching a girl. Whether it’s to get her number, to pick her up, or even just to get to know her – Most men find it difficult to overcome this essential first step.

Whether you’re young or old, our guidelines will help you approach women effortlessly and successfully!

We are the go-to experts when it comes to approaching women. We’ve conducted boot camps in 40 countries, showing men the art of approaching and meeting beautiful women. What we teach is a simple step-by-step system for how to approach women.

So take out your pens and papers because you’re going to want to jot down everything here – have these points handy and go out and meet some ladies.

Now, before we get there, let’s lay down what you need to learn if you want to get the girl.

  1. Inner Game – Having the confidence to approach, and feel comfortable while doing it.
  2. The Approach – Meeting her and getting her attracted.
  3. The Close – Following up later, or taking her home.

If you can wrap your head around these simple steps on how to approach a girl for the first time, you’ll be guaranteed results.

Let’s get started on some concepts that prepare us for our first approach.


What You Need To Know Before You Approach Her

What Is She Looking For When You Approach Her?

how to approach a girl

Hey, what if we told you that you could spark instant attraction within a few moments of approaching her? All you have to know is what her instincts want in a man.

Instinct drives men and women unconsciously. She will know right away after you approach her, if she is attracted to you or not based on her instincts. When you strip everything down to the core, it’s actually instinct that drives our actions, reactions, and feelings towards what’s happening around us.

Back in the cavemen era, women were looking for men that could provide and protect.  She needed a man with confidence, strength, and resources to provide and protect her and her offspring.

Men, on the other hand, instinctively preferred women who were ideal for childbearing and were nurturing for their young. (Which explains why we find women with larger breasts or wide hips more attractive even today.)

So we know that women want a man that can provide and protect her, but how does she know that you can?

Here’s what she is looking for:

How Calm You Are: The most significant thing she will look for is how relaxed you are in her presence. If you are fidgeting or stumbling over your words, she’ll know you’re not the guy for her.

Eye Contact That Shows Desire: Women can tell a lot about you from your eyes. She can see if you’re grounded, or if you’re scared. Also, she can tell if you’re low status or high status. She can also tell if you feel desire towards her. You should look at her like she wishes you were being intimate with her. Make sure to keep your eye contact steady. To help, stay focused on her left eye.

Approaching Without Hesitation: Most guys will have to build up the courage to approach her… and she’ll notice. If you hesitate, you’re toast from the beginning.

High-Status Body Language: She instinctively will read your body language and see if you’re an ideal suitor. The main thing you should know is to move slowly and with purpose. High-status guys don’t fidget and do things sporadically. They move with intention. This slow movement creates tension. And of course, stand tall with good masculine posture.

Proud Facial Expression: Have a proud facial expression because it is proven to be most attractive to women. There should be a slight smile accompanied by it.

High-Status Attire: What you wear says a lot about you, such as whether or not you have access to resources. Present yourself well. However, this doesn’t mean you have to wear a suit everywhere. You can portray high status with a t-shirt and jeans if you pair it with a prestigious watch and shoes.

Loud & Powerful Voice: Project your voice so that you sound sure of yourself. If you are nervous inside, this will usually reveal itself through your voice. So proactively, make it low and strong. (Women are attracted to men with lower voices)

 

 

The Correct Mindset When Approaching Women

When you first approach a girl, having the wrong mindset will throw you off entirely. You may have all the qualities and the potential to bring them out, but when your mind isn’t in the right place, your chances of getting the girl to want you are significantly lower.

If you want to know how to approach a girl with success, here’s the mindset you need to have: “Let’s see if this girl is good enough to be with me.”

Most guys go up to her thinking, “I hope she likes me.” They are primarily trying to impress her or win her over. Here’s the deal… you don’t know anything about her yet, so don’t fall in love with her right away.

If there’s one thing you learn from this post, make it this. Have the mindset that she has to prove herself to you. We’ll talk more about this later.

 

 

How To Eliminate Nerves When Approaching A Girl

You already know that women like a grounded, secure man… so make sure you approach her in a grounded state.

When we’re talking to women, our most significant difficulty is going to be staying in the moment. It’s easy to get caught up in different thoughts like, “What do I say?” or “What if she has a boyfriend?

It’s a high-pressure situation, especially when you’re first starting out. You need a method for controlling negative ideas that will creep up during the interaction. Without a way to deal with it, it will be much harder to build attraction.

Feeling centered can be described fundamentally as being in your body, and out of your head. You’re not concerned about her feelings towards you, as you’re so focused on having a good time and learning about her.

Now, we have a great course that is all about exploding confidence and crushing approach anxiety, which you can find here… But here is one quick tip you can use today.

When you’re feeling overwhelmed with anxiety, take some grounding breaths.

The key to eliminating nerves is to focus on a very long exhale. Take a deep breath in… and then release it with a slow, 10-second exhale.

Try it now and see how you feel. Do several.

I know it sounds too good to be true, but this will instantly calm your nerves and let you focus on her once again. Before you approach her, do at least one grounding breath.

 


How To Approach A Girl During The Day

how to approach a girl during the day

Let’s dive into approaching women during the daytime… our specialty. Primarily you’ll use this if you see a girl walking down the street, at a grocery store, at a coffee shop, bank, school, or anywhere. It just may take a slight modification depending on the situation.   

Here’s our simple framework for the best way to approach a girl and get her number when you approach her during the day.

1. Acknowledge the Reality

Start with giving context to the situation. Giving context helps her understand what you are doing.

For example: “Hi, this is completely random, and I know you’re eating lunch with your friend…

2. Compliment Her

This may sound contrary to what you’ve heard, but it works really well. She knows why you are approaching her so just say it. She’ll appreciate your directness.

Girls respond to honesty more than anything. Make it your goal to say something sincere, something that you actually feel. You don’t need a reason to talk to her, but you need a way to show your intentions.

You’re looking for something direct, but atypical.  Don’t use the words ‘hot’ or ‘sexy’ when you’re opening.

Try something like “Hey, this is really random, and I know you are shopping, but I think you’re adorable.”

The most important is to be genuine when you say it. This will be your go-to when opening in almost any situation. When in doubt, remember this.

We’ll go over some situational openers in later sections, but the idea remains the same.

3. Qualify Her

Remember earlier when I mentioned, that you need to see if she meets YOUR standards? This section is part of that. After you meet her, you want to qualify her and see what type of girl she is.

Guys that have options with girls, naturally do this because they can choose which one they want. So by doing this regularly, it shows that you do not just settle for any girl.

Here are some examples: ” I don’t know anything about you… what’s one cool thing about you because I’m very picky about who I hang out with.”

This question is deceptively complex. We’re essentially saying:

  • I find you attractive.
  • I’m not trying to please you; I’m trying to get to know you.
  • I am used to being around girls that are as attractive as you.
  • I’m not sure if you’re right for me, tell me why you are.

“Tell me something about you… like what are you passionate about?”

This one is simple and opens her up to talk about her passions. Talking about passions are great because it gives you a chance to connect with what is meaningful to her.

Now, a big part of qualifying her is how you say it… You have to have a neutral or high-status tone. You don’t want to sound like any answer she gives will suffice.

If she says something you don’t like, tell her that you don’t like it. Express yourself even if that means you disagree with her. Women love a man that can tell them “No.”

4. Close

You’ve made it to the best part. You’ve worked hard to get to this point, and you’d like to see the reward. There might have been some hiccups during the interaction, but you’ve realized that you want to see her again. So, What are our options?

Instadate – An instant-date is when you take a girl on a date the same day that you met her. This gives you time to talk and get to know her, without having to deal with the logistics of meeting up later.

Be forward when you ask her – Remember, you have a lot of options. Ask her to come for a coffee, tea, lunch or a drink. It’s that simple. Once you’ve built some connection, suggest it to her in a direct way. “Hey, let’s go get some coffee, I know this place across the street.”

Always make sure of these two things:

  1. Be decisive. Pick a place and go for it. As long as it’s not awful, it should be fine.
  2. Don’t ask her to come, say “Let’s go” or “We should.” Lead the way.

Get her number – Avoid asking questions like these directly, ex: “Can I have your number?” She’s been asked these hundreds of times. It also shows a lack of confidence because you are communicating to her that you are not sure if she will give you her number.

Instead, try something along the lines of, “Do you text?” as it’s atypical and pretty direct. Then say, let’s exchange numbers. You will find there are times when women will not want to give out their number.

  • If they get hit on frequently, they may be more inclined to give out a fake number. Just imagine how many texts these girls deal with daily.
  • They consider their number very intimate and don’t want to come off as sleazy.
  • Social Media is just more convenient.

Social Media Close –I’m a millennial, so social media is my go-to when it comes to closing, I’ll go over a few of these quickly.

  • Facebook – Try to avoid if possible, unless your profile is pretty active with a lot of presence. You do not want your profile to say “I have no social life.”
  • Instagram – Similar to Facebook, but it’s much easier to create a significant presence here. Avoid if you’re not very active.
  • Snapchat – My personal favorite. The rate of response is extremely high; you can see which girls are watching your story, etc. Do not send unwarranted nudes. There’s no quicker way to kill attraction.

Your/her Place – The best way to get her back to your place is to give her a reason.

If she thinks that you’re only bringing her home only for sex, most of the time it will not go well. So do not singularly ask “Hey want to come home with me?” because this forces her to make the decision about sleeping with you right there on the spot. There is any number of ways to have her come back to your place, and my favorites are:

  • Do you want to watch a movie/listen to music/look at my art?
  • Do you want to meet my pet?
  • Would you like to play video games/pool/other entertainment?

If things have been highly sexual up to this point, keep them that way. Make sure to demonstrate that you’re not boring and that she’ll have fun if she comes with you.


How To Approach Women In Different Daytime Situations

1. Groups of Girls

You may be scared when you are learning how to approach women, especially groups.

But you shouldn’t be.

When you walk up, hold eye contact with the girl that you like. This is important in all approaches but especially here, as it shows that you’re not just trying to attract whoever wants you the most. That’s needy, anyway.

The most important thing that you have to keep in mind when you’re approaching them is that everyone should be involved, even in the open.

“Hey, I just wanted to tell your friend that she is adorable in every way.”

The best way to continue this is to ask her friend questions about the girl you like.

“What is something interesting about Jessica that she’s passionate about and tries to hide?”

2. Mixed Group – Guy and Girl

One of the most intimidating things for newbies is approaching girls that are with guys. You may fear that the guy is a boyfriend, but believe me, this is less often the case. Most of the time it’s going to be:

  • A friend of hers
  • A family member
  • A stranger who just happens to be hovering around her

We’re going to change things up in a pretty interesting way: We’re going to compliment the guy.

Now, I’m not talking about walking up and complimenting his hipster beard. More specifically, you’re going to notice that he has a beautiful girlfriend and compliment him on that. When you open, say to him directly,

“I don’t mean any disrespect, but I just had to stop for a second to say that your girlfriend is really adorable.”

Now, when you say this, make sure that you’re looking at him when you start but look her in the eyes the moment you deliver the compliment.

This frequently leads to him saying, ”She is not my girlfriend.”  From which you can start talking to the girl as we described above, however, don’t ignore him completely.

3. How To Approach A Girl That’s Walking

how to approach a girl that's walking

First, I’m going to start with what not to do, then follow up with what to openWhen you approach a girl that is walking:

If you are behind her then get at least 6 feet in front of her, then turn around and open to her, with something like: “Hey real quick…”

If she is walking towards you, then first let her pass, try to make eye contact, then repeat the previous steps.  It looks needy if you approach her right away before you can even see who she is. The best way to approach a girl here should be something like: “Hey this is totally random, but I just thought you looked absolutely… adorable.”

If she’s in a hurry, talk about it. “Hey I can tell you’re in a hurry, but I just had to meet you.”

Pretty simple.

4. How To Approach A Girl On Her Phone

You know, I’m not going to complain about people being on their phones too often. It’s honestly overdone.

Approaching while she’s busy can be advantageous simply because it’s high risk. Women love men who are bold and go for exactly what they want.

She’ll appreciate that. One thing that you always want to do is address the fact that what you’re doing is out of the social norm.

We’ll say something like this: “Hey, I know you’re on the phone, and it’s so rude to interrupt, but I had to risk it and tell you that you are absolutely beautiful.”

Don’t be worried if she ends up staying on the call and not pursuing you. She may be on an important call, so don’t overthink into it.

5. How To Approach A Girl At A Coffee Shop

Coffee shops are great places to approach women. You’ll find a lot of business-oriented chicks and hipsters, which makes this place amazing in my book.

We’ll open with something situational like this: “Hey, I can see that you’re studying/reading/working, but I just had to come over and say hi.”

Whatever she is doing, don’t be afraid to talk about it when you open. It’s just fluff, but it shows you’re interested in more than just her looks.

Girls are most likely seated here. Don’t just jump into a seat before you open. After you’ve talked to her for a moment, grab a seat while talking, but first give a time constraint. As you sit, say “I’ll sit down for a minute before I have to get back…”

Don’t force it. It should feel natural.

6. How To Approach A Girl At The Gym

I recommend that you open with something like “Hi, I don’t think we’ve met yet. My name is ____.

This opener implies that you are social and know people there. From there, just do the standard daytime approach we discussed earlier.

I shouldn’t have to say this, but do not stop her while she’s busy doing cardio or if she’s mid-rep. Wait until she is resting.


Night Game How To Approach a Girl at Bars & Clubs

Women get hit on at bars/clubs all the time. Distinguishing yourself here is the absolute key to success.

To stand out, demonstrate:

  • That you’re a high-status man,
  • You’re confident at socializing, and
  • You are a ton of fun to be with

I cannot emphasize enough how important being ‘fun’ isPeople go out on weekends to let off steam and to let loose after a hard week. The attention spans are short, and the sex-drives are high. Opening in a fun and high energy state usually works well.

How To Approach A Girl In A Bar

If there’s only one thing I could say about bars, I would say: You need to be social from the moment you enter. Even socialize beforehand if possible. This builds momentum and puts you into a social state.

Right when you walk into the bar, start talking. When you order a drink, banter with the bartender. The first girl you see, approach. A good opener in the bar is “Hi, I don’t think we’ve met yet. My name is ____.”

It’s simple and direct. From there you’ll want to banter and escalate.

For more bar openers, download The Conversation Cheat Sheet here.

You’ll be able to socialize all over the place in a bar, so don’t stick to the actual bar too much. There should be a lot of places to open new girls.

Try not to wander around too much. This is what the average guy does, and it makes you seem lost.

Sidenote: Do not offer drinks when you first meet a girl. It’s what a lot of guys do, and it makes you seem like you have an agenda, as if you’re trying to buy your way into her pants. Only buy her a drink after you’ve talked to her for a while. That’s actually pretty cool.

How To Approach A Girl In A Nightclub

how to approach a girl

Be very loud. In certain countries or cities, nightclubs can be extremely noisy. The vibe that you’re giving off if you’re quiet is either that you’re not having fun, or that you don’t have the confidence to speak up.

Do not wander around aimlessly in nightclubs. The majority of girls are going to be cycling through the bar, dance floor, bathroom on repeat.

That means you should be dancing, not standing on the dancefloor, to get maximum exposure to everyone in the venue.

When you’re on the dance floor, try to make eye contact with the girl you like. After you make eye contact, walk over and give her the “hand of god.” Fully extend your arm and reach out towards her, inviting her to dance. This is a bold move, so make sure you have a confident smile on your face when you do this.

When she takes your hand, spin her around, and start dancing with her. Make sure to introduce yourself at this point, but don’t have a long conversation while dancing.

After a song or two, invite her to get a drink with you. This will give you some time to talk and flirt with her. After you get drinks, take her someplace quieter so you two can continue talking.

Do not try to get her to come to your place early. This usually won’t work because she’s there to have fun. This is especially true before midnight.

Make sure to number/social media close early in the interaction because she could leave or wander off at any moment. This should become habitual on your part.

Approaching On The Street

Street game after 12-1am is another opportunity to meet women that want to go home with a guy.

Why is that? Women have had fun all night, so their chance to expand or extend their night by going home with you is extremely high. We refer to this as buying temperature.

It means that if they’ve had a great night, they are so hyped up that it’s easy to close. In fact, much easier than it would be at any other time during the week.

You can, and should, be very direct. If they are walking out of the venue, you have roughly 5-10 minutes to close.

A good opener would be: “You’re cute, and I want to talk to you.”  If you vibe exceptionally well after you open, you have to be quick about getting logistics.

Ask them:

  • What are you doing now?
  • Who are you here with?
  • How far away do you live?
  • What are you doing tomorrow?

Get through one if not all of these fast.

Final Thoughts

Master the art of approaching women, and you’ll see an abundance of women in your life. It takes time to master this skill, but keep at it.

Just remember, the game is a skillset, one that you can always improve. You should see it as an opportunity instead of an obstacle.


best pick up lines

Best Pick Up Lines That Never Get Rejected

What are the best pick up lines? There are many ways you can open a conversation with her…

  • But what can you say that makes you stand out from all the other guys?
  • What can you say that sparks attraction?
  • And what can you say that will never get you rejected?

Well, in this video I’ll show you 3 openers that have been proven to get good reactions from women. I’ll even explain the psychology as to why these are rejection-proof.


 


The Best Pick Up Lines That Never Get Rejected

One time I walked up to a woman and said the worst pick up line you can think of: “Hey do you like squirrels? Because I’m going to nut in your hole!”

Yeah, it was pretty BAD. I did this only because it was a dare. But the woman responded with “I love squirrels,” and I asked “Why didn’t you slap me?” that’s when she replied: “Because I could tell you are just having fun. Now, please don’t use that line. But that was a huge “ah-ha!” moment for me.

If you have a fun energy, a positive vibe, and are feeling great about yourself just about anything can work.

Here’s how to flirt with women using my 3 best pick up lines that never get rejected:

“Hi, you seem fun and friendly, so I thought I’d come over and say hi.”

Simply say this if you’re afraid of rejection on your first approach.

This may seem like nothing. But it uses a psychological principle called “Planting an identity.” Basically, you’re putting into her mind that you perceive her as being friendly. Thus she’ll naturally be friendly towards you.

The chances that she will give you a bad reaction and act rude when you tell her she seems friendly is pretty slim. I mean it can happen, but why would you even want to keep talking to a girl like that anyway?

“I noticed that you and I are like the hottest people in here so I figured we should at least meet.”

This works great in a bar or club. Because it’s fun and playful, and it creates a “Us vs. them” frame where you and she are the coolest hottest people in the club. How could any girls say no to that scenario?

“I just saw you in the distance, and I thought you were absolutely stunning and wanted to at least say hi”

This works great during the daytime because women are busy and it cuts right to the chase. And it uses the Law of reciprocity. Because you are likely going to make her feel good with such a bold and genuine compliment. She will want to reciprocate by at least listening to what you have to say next.

All of these openers buy you a few seconds of time. What’s really important is what comes after the opener.

That’s why we created this Free Conversation Cheat Sheet where we break down exactly what to say after “Hi” to make her want you.

You get:

  • My top conversation starters for any situation…
  • Simple techniques to never run out of things to say…
  • A list of my favorite games to play that create a fun-flirty vibe
  • And simple ways to escalate the interaction.
  • And more!

Download it now because you’ll want to keep this handy before you go out.


And if you want us to show you how to meet women personally, click here to check out the live Bootcamp Schedule.

I’m out! Cheers!

how to talk to girls

How To Talk To Girls & Spark Attraction

Want to learn how to talk to girls in a way that consistently sparks attraction? Discover the secrets to meeting gorgeous women and making them yours!

If you want to learn how to talk to girls in a way that consistently sparks attraction, then you’re in the right place. I’m going to share with you some simple yet effective techniques that will allow you to easily and consistently attract women into your bedroom and your life.

Click Below To Subscribe To Our Youtube Channel 

 

Download the Conversation Cheat Sheet for more on what to say to her. 


But first, tell me if this sounds familiar:

You’re hanging out with your friends when out of nowhere appears a drop dead gorgeous girl that makes your heart skip a beat and your stomach flip. “Could this be the one?” You start to imagine what her ass looks like underneath that sundress when suddenly, all the things that you had to say get sucked out of your brain and you’re left completely blank. Before you have the chance to make your move she disappears, never to be seen again…

If you’re nodding your head in agreement and reliving the frustration of missing out on yet another beautiful girl, you’re not alone. After all, most of us aren’t taught how to talk to girls growing up. The good news is, it doesn’t have to be this way: Learning how to talk to women and consistently spark attraction is a learnable skill, just like any other.

In this article, I’m going to share with you the hardest-hitting, most effective techniques on how to talk to girls in a way that causes an instant magnetic attraction.


Powerful Concepts to Short-Cut Your Results

how to talk to girls

You already have enough info about how to talk to women to go out and start setting day 2’s with attractive women right now. Here are some extra tips to help you take your time to the next level.

#1. Opposites Attract

Want to know the key to making her attracted to you?

Show her your masculine side.

For there to be attraction, you need the polarity between the feminine and masculine energy. You see, women are deeply attracted to masculine men. Just as you probably are attracted to very feminine women.

Just like magnets, when you put two positive sides together… they repel. But when you bring two opposite sides together… they attract. So show her your masculine side because she won’t want to sleep with you if you show too much femininity.

That means:

  •     Speak loudly and with a powerful low voice
  •     Stand up tall and be proud
  •     Speak your mind… don’t be afraid to say no to her
  •     Lead the interaction and bring her into your world.
  •     Have powerful eye contact

I’m not saying to be aggressive towards her, but definitely don’t be a wimp.

#2. Emotion vs. Logic

One common mistake guys make when learning how to talk to women is to communicate logically when they should be communicating emotionally. While logic has its time and place, it’s certainly not the language of seduction. Women respond to emotions. When you’re breaking rapport (i.e., teasing them), you’re spiking emotions of fun and excitement. And when you’re building connection, you’re triggering the emotions of safety, security, and intimacy.

On the contrary, speaking logically has no benefit when it comes to turning on women and making them want to be with you. So communicate emotionally instead when talking to women you’re interested in, and save logic for other areas of your life.

#3. Self-Amusement

Self-amusement is exactly what it sounds like: Using the interaction as an opportunity to amuse yourself. This is key to keeping the conversation fresh and interesting when first learning what to talk about with a woman. Once you get the hang of it, you’ll never run out of things to say! You’ll feel good talking about something that matters to you, and it will attract women like nobody’s business. When you’re interested in or amused by what it is you’re saying or doing, the girl will naturally be interested as well.

Here are a few ways to self-amuse:

  •     Talking about things you’re passionate about
  •     Debating topics you find interesting
  •     Making jokes that you think are funny – whether or not she gets it!
  •     Having her do things that amuse you

#4. Qualification

Qualifying a girl is when you test her to make sure she fits certain criteria that are important to you. This demonstrates that you are a man with standards, and it puts her in the position of trying to prove herself to you. Perhaps most importantly, it ensures that the women you’re allowing into your life are the exact types of people you want to surround yourself with.

In order to properly qualify a woman, you first need to take the time to decide what’s important to you in a woman.

  • What personality traits do you value?
  • How do you want her to treat herself and those around her?
  • How do you want her to be sexually?

The more specific you can be with your qualifications, the clearer the image of your ideal woman will be in your head. This will make it easier for you to spot her when you see her, and it will make your qualifications more congruent.

Once you know what you want, you can qualify the girl by simply asking her if she’s the type of person you’re looking for.

Hopefully, you’re beginning to see how powerful it is to be the type of man who knows how to talk to women in a way that demonstrates he has standards. Once you’re able to qualify a woman congruently, she’ll be eating out of the palm of your hand.


 

How to Talk to Girls: From First Sight to First Date

HOW TO START A CONVERSATION WITH A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN

how to talk to women

When first learning how to talk to girls, most guys get caught up on the first hurdle: Initiating conversation. But starting a conversation with a beautiful woman can be as simple as walking up and introducing yourself. Here are some tips to keep in mind:

1.) Approach within 3 seconds – when you see a woman you want to talk to, start talking to her within 3 seconds of seeing her, no matter what. This short-circuits your brains’ ability to come up with excuses, and helps you build a habit of talking to beautiful girls – which is not a bad habit to have! It also conveys confidence, which has long been known to be a major attraction trigger for women.

2.) Open strong – Coming in with a strong opening line can start the interaction off on the right foot. Playful and flirty opening lines can be great. However, there’s no problem with keeping it simple if you’re feeling tongue-tied. Here are some examples of great opening lines:

  • “Have you noticed that you and I are like the hottest/coolest people in this entire place? It’s true, so I figured we have to meet.” Say this one half-jokingly.
  • Hey real quick, this is totally random, but I just saw you over here, and I thought you were absolutely stunning. I had to come over and say ‘hi’.
  • Are you shy? Because I’ve been here for 10 minutes and you haven’t talked to me yet, or flirted with me, or bought me a drink… you must be shy.” Try saying this one in a teasing manner
  • Hi, I don’t believe we’ve met yet. I’m [Your Name].” Say this confidently, with strong eye contact and a warm smile.

Feel free to modify the openers based on the situation, your mood, and your own individual style. And don’t be afraid to try new things! You’re not going to break anything.

3.) Don’t get hung up on the opener! – Believe it or not, the actual words that come out of your mouth when you first meet a woman aren’t all that important, especially when compared to the overall vibe that you’re giving off. Later on, when you have more experience, it’s worth coming back and practicing different kinds of openers. But when you’re first learning to attract women, it’s totally fine to say the first thing that comes to your mind when you first approach her. This will get you in the habit of going for it instead of second-guessing yourself – and developing that killer instinct will get you more women than any pickup line ever could.

HOW TO SPIKE ATTRACTION IN THE FIRST FEW MINUTES

Attraction begins before you ever open your mouth or walk up to the girl. She starts deciding whether or not she likes you from the moment she first notices you based on your energy, your body language, and the way you carry yourself. These are all examples of nonverbal attraction triggers – things you do that trigger attraction other than the words you say.

Nonverbal attraction triggers include dominant body language and eye contact, a confident vibe, proper vocal tonality and more. Having dominant nonverbals triggers extreme attraction in women because it congruently indicates that you’re capable of protecting them. This feeling of safety is arousing to women, as they have a biological need for an alpha male who is capable of watching over and protecting them during pregnancy and motherhood. When you see how deeply ingrained this need is in a woman’s biology, it should come as no surprise that a woman can make a decision on your attractiveness based on your nonverbals alone!

As a beginner, the highest-leverage change you can make in your nonverbal attraction time is to work on presenting open, confident body language at all times. Simply standing up straight, keeping eye contact, and smiling is enough to begin to attract women. Also, be sure to keep your hands visible – it will make her feel more at ease in your presence. This type of body language also projects confidence and dominance. Once you nail proper body language, you can build attraction with a woman without even opening your mouth.

You can verbally build attraction through verbal breaks in rapport.

In order to understand breaking rapport, you first need to understand seeking rapport – the strategy that unattractive, low-status men use to try to get women to like them which includes chasing, self-censorship, and supplication. Seeking rapport is a huge turnoff to women because it exposes the man as being insecure, needy, and living in a state of scarcity with women. This is the type of guy that will get “friend-zoned” or ignored completely.

A high-status man, on the other hand, will actively break rapport. This single-handedly differentiates him from the rest of the herd and demonstrates that he’s a confident man who doesn’t need any particular woman because he’s living in a state of abundance. The type of man that can confidently and congruently break rapport is the type of man that women dream about and pursue.

There are many ways that you can verbally break rapport. Let’s focus on one type of rapport break for now: Teasing.

A tease is a playful jab where you imply something funny or “off” about the girl in a joking way. It spikes the energy of the conversation, and when done right, it should feel fun for both you and her. Teasing a girl is absolute gold for getting her attracted to you because it communicates that you’re a confident guy who doesn’t need anything from her.

Here are some examples of teasing:

  •     Giving her a funny nickname. For instance, if I meet a girl at the gym, I might start calling her Hercules.
  •     Making jokes about her being the type of girl that chases guys. For instance, if she’s checking out a guy in public (or even just looking at someone), I might say “You’re so thirsty! Stop looking so hard; he’s going to notice!” This could even work if the guy she’s looking at is an old man or very unattractive. In fact, it’s even funnier!
  •     Making jokes about her being overly sensual. For instance, if she touches me I might say “Woah there, slow down! I’m saving myself for marriage.”

Just keep in mind that all teases should be done in an obviously playful manner. You know you’re teasing properly when the girl laughs, teases you back, or just lights up in general.

However, if she gets offended or hurt by your tease, then you may want to dial back the intensity of your jabs and make it more clear through your body language and facial expressions that you’re just joking around.

Another way to spike attraction verbally is by being a challenge. Most guys don’t challenge beautiful women to be anything other than just beautiful. This shows a lack of experience, which indicates scarcity and is unattractive. A more seasoned man will tend to have higher standards for the women he dates. When you challenge a girl to provide more than just a pretty face and a nice body, you set yourself apart from the rest of the herd. We’ll dive deeper into this topic later in the article, in the section on qualification.

HOW TO QUICKLY BUILD A CONNECTION WITH A WOMAN

Once she’s laughing and playing into the good vibes, you know you’re on the right track. Now it’s time to build a deeper connection with the girl. Building a connection will make you feel closer to one another, and it gives her more incentive to see you again. Plus, when you learn how to talk to girls in a way that builds comfort – the way that I’m about to show you – it makes setting up a date with her a cinch!

There are many ways to build a connection. For now, let’s focus the basics of relating to the girl.

Relating to the girl is when you and her share things about yourselves that the other can empathize with. It doesn’t necessarily mean that you agree with one another, or that you’ve had had the same experience – in fact, it’s perfectly fine to disagree with the things she says from time to time. Relating is about being vulnerable to one another in a way that builds trust and connection.

When asking questions to relate to the girl, you’ll start with more superficial questions which gradually become deeper and more personal as you get to know one another. You could begin with something like finding out whether or not she likes sushi and end up discovering her secret dream to one day tour as a musician.

Sharing vulnerable things about one another is one of the fastest ways to strengthen the bonds of trust and intimacy within a relationship. This means that the deeper you go, the more invested the girl will be in you and the closer you’ll feel to one another.

To begin leading towards a more vulnerable discussion, you’ll begin with level 1 vulnerability questions – standard get-to-know-you chit-chat – and eventually work your way down to level 3 – deeper, more personal questions.

I’ve also included a list of logistical questions, which will help make setting up dates easier.

Logistical questions:

  •     What kind of food are you into?
  •     What do you do to stay fit?
  •     What’s something you do for fun that would surprise me?
  •     What’s your idea of a good time?

Level 1 questions:

  •     What are you most passionate about?
  •     What’s more important to you – money or love? Why?
  •     What are you most proud of about yourself?
  •     What’s your story?

Level 2 questions:

  •     What’s your biggest regret?
  •     If you could do anything in life with no chance of failure, what would it be?
  •     What’s your favorite memory?
  •     What memory is the most difficult for you?
  •     What was your life like growing up?

Level 3 questions:

  •     If we were ever to become very close, what’s something you would want me to know about you?
  •     What’s the last thing that brought you to tears? Why?
  •     What topics aren’t funny to joke about to you? Why not?
  •     What’s your biggest fear?
  •     If right now was your last moment on Earth, what would you regret not saying or doing? Why? Why don’t you? What would happen if you did that thing right now?

Asking questions that you care to hear the answer to and really listening is one of the fastest ways to build a deep connection. Its one of the essentials when learning how to talk to girls. Plus, it’s often very enjoyable finding out about the person in front of you and realizing how much they have to offer as a person.

CREATING A ROMANTIC VIBE & KISSING HER

Things are going well for you two. Why not go for a kiss?

kissing a girl

In order to warm her up for the kiss, you’ll want to begin by creating a romantic vibe. Allow yourself to begin feeling the romantic energy in the air between you and her. Feel yourself enjoying that chemistry, and let the desire that you have for her fill your body and mind. This feeling of a sensual vibe is also known as “sensual tension,” and dominant men are pros at holding this tension without flinching. Once you get used to staying grounded in that sensual energy, it feels great. There’s nothing in the world like it.

Once romantic tension starts building, the girl may add to the tension if she’s feeling confident, or giggle to diffuse the tension if she’s feeling submissive or shy. These are both good signs that she’s interested enough in you to kiss you right now. However, if she looks uncomfortable, flinches, or otherwise closes off her body to you, then she may not be ready to kiss you just yet.

Here are some ways to increase romantic tension:

  1.    Square up with her, so your bodies are facing one another directly
  2.    Close the distance between the two of you until you feel the heat radiating off of her body or are physically touching her
  3.    Drop your voice down low. You can also start speaking more softly, enticing her to lean in
  4.    Gradually begin slowing… Down… Your rate… Of speech
  5.    Making strong, solid eye contact. Allow your eyes to linger on parts of her that especially catch your attention, such as her lips or neck

For the sake of racking up more experience, I recommend attempting to build romantic tension and go for the kiss in all interactions lasting more than a couple of minutes.

HOW TO SET A “DAY 2”

So… You already learned how to attract women through teasing, how to build a commonality, and how to vibe and kiss during the interaction. The next step is to set up a day 2. I know I called it a date earlier, but now I want you to erase that word from your vocabulary! You don’t go on dates anymore. Instead, you go on day 2’s.

What’s a day 2? So glad you asked!

A day 2 is like a better version of a date. We call it day 2 instead of a date because traditionally, a date is coming from the frame of the man trying to impress the woman, which is actually detrimental when it comes to attracting women. A date is formal and stiff, whereas a day 2 is fun and light. A date consists of you trying to impress her, whereas a day 2 consists of you both having fun together. You get the idea.

The simplest way to set up your day 2 when first learning how to talk to women is to leverage one of the commonalities you’ve established with her. Let’s go with the sushi example: You found out that you both love sushi. And you happen to know of a new sushi bar opening up in a couple of days. Now, setting up the day 2 is as simple as inviting her to check it out with you. If you’ve done the other steps properly so far, the chances of her being excited to go with you are very high!

This is also the perfect chance to get her phone number. After she agrees to go on the day 2 with you, you can say something like “perfect, give me your number so I can text you if anything changes.

Oh – and in case you were unsure, you don’t need to call it a date or a day 2 to her. Just call it hanging out.

Congrats! You just learned how to approach a random woman and make her a part of your life in one conversation. Remember, the more you practice these techniques, the more effortless it will become not just to, but attract women, too. Eventually, you’ll become proficient enough to know how to talk to women in any given scenario to quickly gain attraction and set up a date.

Where are the best places to meet girls?

There are two categories of places to meet girls. If you want to know how to talk to girls, you need to acquaint yourself with these places. These can be broken up into “day time” and “night time” venues.

Let’s talk a bit about the pros and cons of each, as well as how to modify your approach depending on the environment to attract women with the greatest consistency.

How to Talk to Girls at Nighttime Venues

talking to girls night time

Meeting girls at nightlife venues are my top recommendation for those trying to improve their seduction skills. Nightlife venues are high-density, which lets you get a lot of approaches and practice in a short amount of time.

Some good night time venues include:

  •     Clubs
  •     Bars
  •     Lounges
  •     Concerts and other events

Night time is often boisterous and fast-paced. Because of this, it helps to take a more physical and high energy approach. This includes being more animated with your body language and facial expressions, projecting your voice, and speaking in short, simple sentences so as to be understood. You can also be much more physical during the nighttime, including leading and breaking rapport physically.

For the night time, I often go indirect, especially if it’s in a venue that I frequent. This means that my opens are social in nature and I don’t convey a special interest in any particular girl off the bat. Indirect openers would include “Hey, how do you know everyone here?” and “Hey, I don’t think I’ve introduced myself yet, I’m [Your Name]. Who are you?” These openers convey that you have friends in the area, which lends you status and social proof.

Once I’ve opened the set, I’ll often dive straight into qualification and leading. During night time, I want to immediately begin screening for girls who are down to get pulled that night, and I tailor my qualifications and leads accordingly.

Here are some examples of qualification and leading for night time:

  •     “Are you adventurous? Oh, really… What’s the craziest thing you’ve done all week?”
  •     Say “come with me.” Then take her hand and lead her around the venue, stopping to enjoy cool places like photo booths, the bar, etc.
  •     “Are you a good dancer?” Then lead her to the dance floor and start dancing with her.

Aside from qualifying and leading, you could also tell a story about a crazy, funny time you had. For night time stories, the more raunchy, crazy, or hilarious the better – as long as they paint you in a flattering light. Think of the moments in your life that could be made into TMZ headlines, and tell stories about that. The mindset to have when telling a story is that you’re sharing with the girl for your own amusement and enjoyment, and NOT trying to impress her or make her like you. After all, if she’s spending any amount of time with you in a night time venue, there’s a high chance that she already does like you.

And remember, if you ever go completely blank, that’s totally fine – night time venues are more physical than verbal, so feel free to simply yell “adventure!”, grab her hand, and lead her to do something physical such as dancing, photo booths, or out the front door of the venue to take her home.

You can also screen for logistics, which allows you to find out about her logistical situation for the evening while moving the conversation forward.

Here are some examples of logistical questions for night time:

  •     “Who are you here with tonight?”
  •     “Where do you live / how did you get here tonight?”
  •     “What are you doing tomorrow?”

Asking these questions will get you valuable information about her logistics and let you know if there are any obstacles that you’ll need to overcome in order to pull her. Plus, once you have the answer to a logistical question, you can riff on that topic with her, further adding to the conversation.

Social proof – including preselection – is your secret weapon when it comes to the night time. Build social proof by being friendly and welcoming to everyone in the area. Bounce from group to group instead of sticking to one individual, especially earlier on in the night. This allows people to see that you’re a friendly, social guy with an apparently large amount of social clout, which will have the baddies fighting over you by the end of the night.

Having an after party or another excuse to pull at the end of the night can make your pulling logistics a breeze. When the club closes down, people will want to keep the party going. Knowing where the after-party is or hosting it yourself gives you the best chances of pulling a beautiful girl from a nighttime venue.

How to Talk to Girls in the Day Time

Check this video out:

The drawback of day time is that there is usually a smaller volume of people, which means fewer opportunities for you to practice and succeed. However, it can still be worth your time to get experience learning how to talk to girls in different environments. Plus, it’s the main way that you’ll meet women on a day-to-day basis as you’re going about your life.

Some good day time venues include:

  •     Art galleries & museums
  •     Parks
  •     Malls
  •     Coffee shops

During day time, people are often busy running to and from work, running errands, or simply going about their day. Because of this, you’ll use time constraints frequently in a day time. For instance, you might open by saying, “I need to meet up with my friend in just a second, but I wanted to come say…?”. This takes the time pressure off the girl, making her more receptive to your approach.

Unlike bars and clubs, daytime settings are not typically designed to meet strangers. Because of this, you will sometimes catch girls off guard when you approach them during the daytime. You can soften this effect by acknowledging the situation and saying something like “this is really random” or “I saw you from down the street and I had to come say hi”.

Use the COMPLIMENT, QUALIFY, CLOSE system. (CQC)

Compliment First, you compliment the girl on something about her style, appearance, or vibe. This lets her know immediately what your intentions are, which makes getting the number easier.

For example, you might say, “Hey, this is super random… I have to meet my friends in a second, but I wanted to come let you know… You’re absolutely adorable!

You’ll notice that, in addition to a compliment, the above opener also includes a time constraint and an acknowledgment of the situation.

Instead of complimenting her directly, you could also imply the compliment, like so:

Listen, I saw you here, and I had to come over and meet you. Hi, I’m [Your Name]”.

Qualify – Now that you’ve given her a bit of your interest, it’s time to take a step back and make her prove to you that she’s worthy of your continued attention.

You can do this by qualifying her as we discussed earlier.

This will get her to start chasing you, which is a surefire way to turn on a woman.

For example, you could say “tell me something interesting about yourself” or “what’s something you’re passionate about?

Once she answers, you can reward her by letting her know you appreciate her answer, or by relating to the topic with your own experiences.

Then, you can rinse and repeat the qualification process in order to continue finding out if she’s “cool enough” to hang out with you.

Close – Day time approaches offer you the unique opportunity to go on instant dates. This is when you go together from the place you met to a second location such a coffee or ice cream shop. A simple way to transition into an instant date is to say something like, “My favorite ice cream shop is right around the corner, I was about to grab a cone. Come with.

If she’s unable to go on an instant date for whatever reason, you can simply set up a day 2 instead and get her phone number.

How to talk to Girls You Work With

A lot of times I get asked how to talk to girls at work. But in my opinion, the chances of something going wrong with a girl you see at work are too high, and the risk isn’t worth it. Instead of trying to date your co-workers, I would recommend friend zoning them. You could still grab drinks with them and hang out, but hit on their friends instead of them if anything. Being seen with beautiful co-workers that you’ve friend-zoned will attract women from outside of the friend group without jeopardizing your work environment.

Now you’re armed with everything you need to know to go out, approach a beautiful woman on the street, build attraction, set up a date with her, and even build a sensual vibe and kiss her! You definitely now have got all you need to know how to talk to girls. The next step is actually to go out and implement these new strategies. If you want the types of results you’re dreaming about; you’ll need to make a firm commitment to yourself to go out and practice these principles, one at a time until the results are yours.

What unanswered questions do you still have about how to talk to girls? How’d you like the article? Comment below and let me know what you think!

Also, if you’re one of the guys who’s going to take action on this information, leave a comment that includes your city, what venue you’re going to meet girls at this week, and an original tease that you’re going to test out!