All right, so let’s cut to the chase. You want a girlfriend and the reason you clicked on this article is because you think there’s something that you don’t know or maybe even something wrong with you that’s stopping you from getting one.
…Or should I say her, because you probably have a specific girl in mind already, am I right?
If you want to know the answer to that question, then this might be one of the most important articles that you’ve ever read, because I’m going to show you the four foolproof steps that every man must follow in order to make that happen.
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HOW TO GET A GIRLFRIEND IN 2021 The Ultimate Guide to Getting a Girlfriend
I wish I knew this back in the day because I used to always sabotage myself. Any time I liked a girl, I would always say the wrong things and women would literally scatter.
I remember my best friend told me, “girls like you, man, until you open your mouth.” And that just hit me like a ton of bricks. It took me a lot of trial and error to really figure this out.
But when I did, getting a super high quality girlfriend became really easy and I was able to increase my standards. And here’s something you need to understand. Regardless of your experience to date, it’s actually pretty darn easy to get a girlfriend. Understand that you’re actually in a buyer’s market and when you’re in a buyer’s market, you have all the power.
THE SCARCITY MINDSET AND WHY WOMEN LOVE A MAN WITH A PLAN
This is the first mistake that most guys make. They don’t realize that they’re surrounded by an ocean of women that are looking for someone like them. This mistake builds a scarcity mindset within them and brings closer to opening a new tab watching women online than landing that cute girl they met and had chemistry with at the coffee shop.
The second mistake that guys make is even worse. And you probably make it every day. It’s when you don’t have a plan.
A plan of how to take a girl that you like and turn her into your girlfriend.
You ask yourself, and it’s all a bit of a mystery, like trying to describe what the Force is. You simply don’t know what to do. And because of this, you might think that guys who do have girlfriends are somehow better than you or they have something that you don’t have.
I guess they do have something you don’t have… a girlfriend. BUT that doesn’t make them better than you and the reality is you just probably don’t know what you’re doing – And the other guys had their dad or big brother or pervy uncle show them the ropes.
This lack of a plan, coupled with the fact that you and every other guy on the planet fails to realize the sheer number of opportunities around you are the reason that you spent the last few years getting repetitive strain injury in your wrist rather than cuddling up in front of Netflix with the hot barista that you’ve always wanted to ask out.
But for the sake of your aching heart, that ends now, I’m going to give you my 4-step foolproof plan into taking that classy, sassy senorita and turning her into your high quality, loving girlfriend.
This isn’t going to be a list of techniques, and this is not going to be ridiculously complicated. But I can promise you, if you follow these four steps to the teeth, you will land the girlfriend that you’ve been looking for.
STEP 1 YOU NEED TO KNOW WHAT YOU BELIEVE
Your beliefs about yourself and about women and about the world in general are going to torpedo your chances to get a high quality girlfriend faster than anything else on Earth.
This is why it’s so important to actually take a step back and examine your beliefs about women.
Do you believe you’re attractive to women? Do you believe women are interested in your personality? Do you believe you deserve a top ten Instagram model girlfriend?
Do you believe you’re worthy of love? You really need to dig in and really find out what makes you tick. If you find that you have a bunch of unhealthy or limiting negative beliefs that aren’t helping you, start to challenge them. And ask yourself if they’re really true.
You also need to know what you want when you actually know what kind of girlfriend you’re looking for. It gives you a clear target. Why, you might ask?
Well, that girl certainly has hobbies. She has certain interests and lives a certain way and has a specific type. For example, if you like rocker chicks, then going to rock concerts and getting a bunch of tattoos is probably going to help you land that kind of girl.
But there’s one big caveat.
Do not go for a girl that is your complete opposite. For example, if you’re a bookish, introverted guy, finding a girl who likes to hit up nightclubs and sing karaoke, partying till 3AM.. probably isn’t a good idea. No matter how hard she is, you’ve got to find someone more your speed and knowing exactly what you want will mean that you have standards. Because you won’t just let anybody be your girlfriend.
And a guy with standards is a lot more attractive than a guy who will just go for anything.
Look, man, understanding your beliefs about yourself and knowing exactly what you want gives you the strongest foundation for meeting women and having the confidence to get a girlfriend.
STEP 2 MAKE SURE YOUR CAKE IS BAKED BEFORE PUTTING ON THE ICING
A girlfriend is the icing on an already excellent life cake. By this I mean she enhances a life that’s already good.
If your life sucks and you have a dull social life, a crappy job and you’re still wearing last week’s underpants.. then you need to fix all that first, the easiest way to attract a high quality woman is to have a life that you enjoy because she sees it as the kind of life that she would love to be swept up in.
And she admires you for taking care of yourself and for taking your life seriously. When you’re trying to get a girlfriend, but your life is a little bit of a shambles. It just screams that you’re looking for her to be a Band-Aid.
And you’re not a man who’s in charge of his own world. Sorting out your “life cake” before you get some “girlfriend icing” also comes with the added benefit of improving your confidence, your looks, your bank balance, your social life and, of course, your sex life, all of which will help you attract a higher quality girlfriend.
In other words, it’s one of the closest things to a magic pill that you’re going to find.
But look, I know you’re probably thinking, why do I have to build this amazing life just to get one girlfriend? I’m going to let you in on a little secret: For girls, an attractive life isn’t one filled with Ferraris, suitcases filled with money and models hanging off your arm..
It’s just a guy whose life is at least a little bit above average.
That’s it, man. A guy whose life is a little bit above average and she can curl up on the sofa with and eat ice cream and watch Netflix. Seems pretty doable, right? I hope so, because that’s it.
STEP 3 LEARN A WOMAN’S SECRET LANGUAGE
Your future girlfriend is a girl, and you’re going to have to speak to her at some point.
So as scary as it might seem right now, you’re going to have to get comfortable speaking to women. Not only that, but you don’t know where you’re going to meet the girl that ends up becoming your girlfriend, especially if you want a really high quality girlfriend.
Relying on the easy swiping of online dating is probably not going to cut it because women are bombarded by messages from other guys.
So the competition is really effing high. You need to grab your balls, build up some courage and some resilience and learn how to speak to women in real life in all different types of environments, like walking down the street in a coffee shop while she’s at work, at bars, parks, wherever.
Because look, man, at the end of the day, dating, whether you’re looking for sex or for love, is a numbers game. The more you play, the more you win. This means you’re going to want to increase your chances of meeting her as much as possible.
And when I first started meeting women in everyday situations, I looked like a deer in headlights because I felt like I was bothering them.
My results were pretty slim. But as I did thousands upon thousands of approaches, I became a lot better. I became a lot more confident and I was able to spark sexual tension immediately and women’s eyes would just light up.
The good news is you don’t have to do thousands of approaches. You don’t have to learn the hard way like I did. All you need to do is get a mentor.
Do you know when the best time to ask a girl out is?
“Yesterday”
The second best time?
“Right Now”
A while back, I taught a class in Singapore with 14 women and I asked them, what’s the biggest hang up that you have when it comes to men and dating? And they all unanimously agreed their biggest hang up or gripe or challenge was that men in their culture did not make the move. But it really applies to all cultures. I mean, imagine that for a second. You’re a beautiful woman and you like a guy, but it’s just not in your nature to make a move.
I’m not saying women can’t make moves. Yes, of course they can. It’s all good.
But it’s just not in a feminine woman’s nature. They just feel very masculine if they have to ask the guy out. But once you’ve challenged your beliefs and you know what you want and you’ve built an attractive lifestyle and you know how to talk to girls, you only need to take one more step.
And it’s pretty simple. You just need to ask her out and go on dates.
Don’t wait man, just do it. And of course, not all women will say yes, but if you do this enough, you will get a yes and you will end up on a date from here. It’s just a matter of time, chemistry and compatibility, which of course, is why step number one is so important. You got to know what you want. When it works, you’ll know.
And when you do. And you’ve been on a bunch of dates and everything’s all kissing lovey dovey looks and thinking about each other all the time, just ask her to be your girlfriend.
Who knows? She might say yes. So call your crush NOW and ask her out man.
And that’s it for your Ultimate Guide To Getting a Girlfriend. Was it really that short? Could it really be that easy? Well DO it, man. You’ve be surprised as to how effective these steps are. Stay tuned for our content next week!
Cheers,
Matt
https://media.theattractiveman.com/file/w_700,h_265,c_fit,q_80/blog-images-8-6.jpg265700Matt Artisanhttps://media.theattractiveman.com/file/logo-light-e.pngMatt Artisan2021-02-26 11:42:242021-02-26 11:42:27How to Get a Girlfriend in 2021 (The Ultimate Guide to Getting a Girlfriend)
When you’re looking for some confidence motivation I always turn back to watching this transformation. You’re going to absolutely love this video, man..
In just 3 short hours we completely changed one of our lucky fans.. From doing approaches that absolutely creeped women out..into confident, memorable and successful interactions AND an INSTANT DATE.
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We kid you not, with 3 hours of coach Jules and coach David’s training and confidence motivation, a complete newbie who never approached a girl in his life got an instant date….success he never experienced before in his life!
And I’m sure you’re curious as to exactly how this powerful transformation happened..
In this video, coach Jules and David taught a fan how to approach a girl, how to talk to a girl, and how to get a date.. So many guys get flustered when trying to learn how to approach women while walking, and they don’t even know how to approach a girl on the street.
Click the link below to watch the full video on our YouTube channel now:
If your interested in some of our coaching (and I’m sure you’re at least curious after watching this video) then click the link below to apply for our coaching programs!
While you’re here – make sure to grab one of my FREE confidence cheat sheets as well. It absolutely helps with confidence motivation. That’s all for now, man. I’ll see you again in our next value-filled content!
Cheers, Matt
https://media.theattractiveman.com/file/w_700,h_265,c_fit,q_80/blog-images-7-7.jpg265700Matt Artisanhttps://media.theattractiveman.com/file/logo-light-e.pngMatt Artisan2021-02-18 12:12:022021-02-18 12:15:24Confidence Motivation: From CREEP To STUD In Only 3 Hours
Why do girls like bad boys so much? Do nice guys always finish last? What you’re about to hear is controversial.. because you’ve probably never heard this before. So let’s get right to the interview, shall we?
WHY DO GIRLS LIKE BAD BOYS? The Dark Side Of Attraction
Matt: I like how you said “be yourself,” because a lot of people have heard that advice.. And don’t understand it because they say, “Oh, I’m always being myself. I’m being so nice and sweet to women.“
And really, are they being themselves, do you think?
Robert: They are not. And you know that that applied to me as well. And yeah, that’s that’s the advice. You know, we used to hear from our mother or something like that “just to be yourself,” you know, and guys will tell me, you know, “I’ve heard that all my life and that sucks. That’s not accurate. I myself and women still don’t want to give me a number. I still don’t want to go out with me.“
And and what’s happened is how can a woman be attracted to a chameleon? How could she be attracted to something that has no life energy about it? No edge to it? No. No darkness to it. Right? No fierceness to it.
Nice Guy vs. Bad Boy – The Truth Behind What Women Want In Men
Robert: The feminine is attracted to all of those things. And nice guys, just unfortunately. Nice, niceness.. nice is not a turn on to the majority of women, even though women say, “Oh, I want to be with the nice guy” even though they like the idea of being with a guy who treats them well..
And again, I’m not talking about guys being jerks, but unfortunately, oftentimes that is what women get attracted to.
They get attracted to the man that’s unavailable – that they can’t trust, that sleeps around on them, that steals their money, that doesn’t follow through. Why? Because there’s some energy to it.
There’s an edge to it. There’s a vibration to it. And women need that kind of emotional tension for attraction and attachment and sexual arousal. Niceness creates no emotional tension.
Matt: Flat line.. Like it’s so predictable, the asshole, even though, you know, we don’t want to actually become an asshole, but he’s like, nice at some times. But then he’s an asshole and he’s unpredictable and, you know, he’s sweet to her.. But then he doesn’t call her back for a week. He disappears.
Robert: But that what drives them crazy. A woman would rather be driven crazy than be driven bored. Right? And that’s a problem with nice guys, We’re born.. Trying to please other people is always kind of a one-down type of thing.
“Oh, I’ll do nice things for you. I’ll listen to you talk. I’ll do whatever you want, blah, blah, blah. Because I have you up here and I want you to want me.”
But it makes the woman the decider. It gives her all the power. It makes her the Alpha, you the Beta. And and so trying to, you know, be that nice guy to be what we think women want us to be, paradoxically just doesn’t work.
Now, part of the problem is we don’t know what else to do because we’ve been hiding all those other things about ourselves that might actually be a little bit attractive to women.
And what is amazing to most guys, like it was to me, is that women are drawn to the darkness in us.
They’re drawn to to the part of us that can be an asshole. They’re drawn to us. The part that that, you know, wants to f*** them to god, they’re drawn to us that would protect them from threat that, you know, would draw a sword and cut someone’s head off!
You know, they’re drawn to something fierce and bold and strong.
My wife is younger than me. Mexican woman, grew up in poverty, had to learn to fight. She grew up in her white bred neighborhood suburb of Seattle. And she even says, “I know I got bigger balls than you, but I don’t want to ever feel like my balls are bigger than my man’s.“
It is all in Spanish. And she’s telling the truth.
She is a strong, strong woman, but she wants to know that I’ve got some fierceness about me and she likes the dark side of me. She likes me to tell her dark, nasty stories. And then this is all stuff I didn’t think, well, women more like that kind of stuff. And it’s been throughout my life as women that have begged for that kind of energy, that kind of darkness.
And finally, it kind of sunk in after a while. Well, why am I hiding that from them? Why am I afraid of them thinking I’m a bad man? They’re drawn to that, that they crave it.
Matt: Hey, man, I hope you enjoyed this topic. Make sure to subscribe to this channel on YouTube so that you can watch the other episodes from the Robert Glover interview and make sure to hit that Bell notification icon.
And listen, man, if you want to go deep and really get this part of your life handled, then I highly recommend either one of our live programs. I’ll put a link to our boot camp schedule down below:
That’s all for now, man! See you in our next post!
Cheers, – Matt
https://media.theattractiveman.com/file/w_700,h_265,c_fit,q_80/blog-images-21-2.png265700Matt Artisanhttps://media.theattractiveman.com/file/logo-light-e.pngMatt Artisan2021-02-03 10:53:472021-02-03 10:53:49Why Do Girls Like Bad Boys? | The Dark Side Of Attraction
I can tell you that there are just three simple actions that you can do right now to attract women and get them to chase you today instead of it being the other way around.
But first, here’s the hard truth. Most guys will never be chased by women. You may have experienced this yourself, the constant fight for her attention, thinking of something funny to say, only to end up empty handed..
It sucks, right? I mean, what’s the point in putting in all this effort if she’s just going to blow you off? And why do girls always seem so indifferent?
Listen, men, women can sense from a mile away when you’re being needy and when they sense this, their sex drive dries up faster than my iPhone battery.
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This is because when you’re trying so hard to attract women.. then you chase her subconsciously, you’re telling her that you’re not worth chasing. You’re telling her that you’re just like every other guy, that you’re nothing special, that she is better than you.
The result, of course, instead of making her want you, you end up pushing her away. Probably not the outcome you want, right? If like most guys, you want an outcome that involves a lot more nudity and a lot less soul crushing rejection, then I’m going to show you exactly what to do.
In fact, I can tell you what to do. And just one simple sentence in you’re sharp sharpies ready? You need to take her down off that pedestal and tell her subconscious mind that you’re the type of guy that she needs to chase.
But here’s the most important thing that nobody in the dating advice industry will tell you.
3 POWERFUL STEPS TO ATTRACT WOMEN (Get Girls To Chase YOU)
There are only three ways to do this. Not a million, not a bazillion, just three. Three steps to attract women enough to get her to chase you.
I cannot make this more clear. Most experts will tell you you need an Instagram that’s fully loaded, full of pictures of you flexing next to your Ferrari while holding a puppy. Trust me, man, you don’t need to ignore her and hit on her friend.
You don’t even need to show her that you’re constantly surrounded by women and you don’t need to master the seven mysterious psychological tricks that manipulate women.
Here’s a hint: they don’t work.
Trust me, man. I spent years trying pretty much every pickup trick in the book and yeah some of them can work, but more often than not, they will backfire.
For example, back in the day I read that you should show more interest in the friend. So I did that in the friend ended up really liking me and then the girl that I liked ended up going home with somebody else and I was stuck there trying to get the less attractive girl away from me.
You don’t need to do things like that! And when you hear other experts tell you to do things like that, run the other direction.
Here’s what I want you to do instead:
STEP #1 – “Do not treat her like a princess”
Even though that’s what mainstream media tells you to do.
Before I started working on this part of my life, I had a huge crush on this girl that I thought was way out of my league. But somehow we ended up hooking up a couple of times and I became really attached.
I just became infatuated with her and I ended up sending her flowers and poetry on Valentine’s Day, even though we had only been dating for just a few weeks. And when she didn’t return my calls or text messages, I would stalk her friend at work and try to find out information like “Where’s Nikki? Why isn’t she replying back to me?”
And she ended up completely blocking me on all social media because I was way too needy, because there’s an old saying,
“If you treat her like a celebrity, then she’s going to treat you like a fan.”
In layman’s terms, this just means don’t fawn after her, chase her, treat her like royalty, or act like a little puppy dog. No matter how much you want your belly scratched.
You might even say that she wants to be treated like a princess, but in reality, she just wants to be treated like a person. That’s part of how to attract women..
This means be honest with her. You disagree with her? Just tell her! If you want to take a chance and flirt with her, then do it. You feel a bit of sexual tension, then embrace it. If you feel like playfully teasing her? Then just do it.
If you feel like getting up from the date and spinning around and moonwalking away, then do it!
But seriously, man, when you’re 100% honest with her, you inherently prevent yourself from ever chasing her. It’s really a pretty simple fix. You also create an environment of honesty that just creates a more fun, flirtatious and natural vibe between you and her.
Lots of guys look for ways to create bursts of sexual tension or create a low key, flirtatious vibe. But really all that comes from honesty.
You don’t need a new technique. You just need to stop dicking around and be honest. You feel it. So you do it. And it all starts with treating her like a regular person. Which brings me to step number two..
STEP # 2 – “Pull the trigger.”
When I first started learning the stuff, I remember I went to a club in downtown L.A. and I approached these two girls and I started really hitting it off with one of the girls who I thought was pretty much a total ten in looks.
And so I really liked her. And I remember she told me she was already dating three other guys, which made me want her more like she was kind of a challenge, and so I remember kind of playing it safe, I could tell she really wanted me to make a move on her.
She even told me she wasn’t wearing any underwear. Yet, I still didn’t make the move. I thought “I’ll be kind of a challenge and then she’ll chase me.” But it ended up having the opposite effect. She ended up completely losing interest.
And I was really disappointed and mad at myself because it was such a perfect opportunity. She was showing me so much interest, yet I completely blew it.
And that’s because women rarely make the first move.
I’m sorry, man, but unless you’re Ryan Gosling, you’re not going to just walk out of your house, attract women and have them chasing you. You’re going to have to make a move first.
I don’t care if she’s at work, at the bar, walking down the street, or she’s the cute cashier at Whole Foods. You have to make the first move. If you don’t, you’re dead in the water and she’ll never chase you, let alone kiss you.. Go back to your place and play a little naked twister.
A lot of idiot dating coaches will tell you to hide your desire and use secret steps that make her make the first move.
Spoiler alert: she probably won’t.
And if she does, she probably comes with a price tag. One of the best ways that you can make a move is by showing your desire as long as you do it the right way. Not in a way that’s creepy. Make it clear that you like her and that you’re not afraid to show it.
Simply put, if you’re afraid to show your interest in her, then you’re just like every other guy that orbits around her waiting for some magical opportunity to show up.
So WHY would she chase you? Which brings me to step number three..
The truth is men, that girls don’t need to chase a guy to get laid or get a boyfriend or get married. Because like 99% of guys will chase them.
So then ask yourself, why would you she chase you?
The only reason that you would chase you.. Is because you’re that type of guy that she never meets.
In simple economic lingo, you’re a “scarce resource,” so your value shoots way up and her strategy therefore, has to change. Its basic supply and demand. So then what kind of guy does she never meet?
I know what you’re thinking. And no, it’s not just rich guys. There are plenty of guys with money out there. And trust me, man, a lot of my clients are very wealthy before they come to me. They’re struggling in their dating lives because they’re still chasing women.
And actually answer this question by just listening to any woman going on a Cosmo fueled rant about her dating life. They rarely meet guys who have their own lives, a clearly defined purpose, who are independent.
Believe it or not, they rarely meet guys who have their life fundamentals together: A Career he likes, friends he likes, a life that he likes to live.
These kind of guys are just naturally a challenge to women because they can be. Because they’re a catch. These are the kind of guys and really who truly enjoy their lives and they know they’re totally fine, regardless whether they get her or not. That’s the kind of guy that she wants to chase. One who can attract women effortlessly.
And here’s a little reality check, just in case you’ve been nodding along.
If you play games, you aren’t this guy.
If you try to manipulate her, you aren’t this guy.
If you’re too afraid to approach her, you are NOT this guy.
Look, man, if you want her to chase you, you have to build a life that is completely independent of her.
For every guy, this is a little bit different because everybody wants different things. But if you can make the changes in your life necessary to achieve this, it will drive women crazy. And you’ll just naturally be a challeng to women because you’ll be on your life’s purpose.
And as you work on yourself and become the most attractive, confident version of yourself and learn how to talk to women and approach women with confidence, you’ll have so many options. And guys with options don’t chase women. They’re the ones who get chased.
So you can take one thing away from this.. Let it be:
If you can sort out your life, she will chase you simply because you are YOU.
Something that we in the business call “Easy mode.”
So keep up the great work, be the 1% man, attract women AND success.. and stay awesome!
Cheers, Matt
https://media.theattractiveman.com/file/w_700,h_265,c_fit,q_80/blog-images-6-6.jpg265700Matt Artisanhttps://media.theattractiveman.com/file/logo-light-e.pngMatt Artisan2021-01-27 13:48:572021-01-27 13:49:003 Easy & Powerful Steps To Attract Women
Today’s advice comes straight from Dr. Robert Glover himself, author of one of my most recommended books “No More Mr. Nice Guy.”
If you haven’t read the book, you absolutely need to. And I would easily say 90 to 95 percent of our clients who come to us that are unsuccessful with wome, I would definitely classify as “nice guys.”
Nice Guys need to learn the hard way – from experience
Josiah: I see some of the irony that you started off your dating life as a “therapist for the women” got a real degree as a therapist, and then wrote a book about how to NOT be a therapist to women.
Robert: There you go. you you’re good with the irony of things.
Josiah: Hey man, it’s actually how it all ends up turning out most of the time, though.
Robert: For most of us, Yeah. And I often tell people that, I write and teach whatever I’ve struggled with, whatever I bumbled my way through. Degrees are irrelevant its really what have you what have you learned in the process and what have you applied, and how it changes things.
Josiah: Nothing better than life experience to teach you real lessons. And sometimes they come really hard, but you’ve got to learn it that way sometimes.
Robert: The best ones often come pretty hard and hopefully you just treat them that way. They’re lessons. That’s all it is. We’re all, you know, we’re all just out there learning.
Nice guys ALWAYS want things to be perfect with women (It NEVER is)
Robert: And I know so many guys I work with and maybe you guys find that, too. They want to get everything perfect.
You know, they want to have the perfect pickup line. They want everything to go perfectly – perfect opener, perfect texts, perfect date, perfect kiss, perfect smile, blah, blah, blah.
That’s not how life works and especially not how things work with women. Nothing ever goes perfect with women. That’s just the nature of the beast. But nice guys want to get it perfect.
I try to give guys permission. Bumble your way through. It’s OK to make mistakes, to look foolish. It’s OK to crash and burn. Just get up, get up and do it again and learn something each time.
What is a “Nice Guy” (..and why you shouldn’t be one)
Matt: So Robert, for guys reading this, what exactly is a nice guy for you? I mean, it sounds like it’s a good thing. Why is it not such a good thing, especially if you’re a single guy? What are the characteristics and why is it a problem?
Robert: Whether you’re single guy or in relationship, it can be a problem. So my definition of a nice guy is a guy who at an early age, internalized inaccurately the belief that there’s something wrong with him and that he’s got to hide certain things about him from the world.
That’s so he doesn’t get a negative reaction.. and he’ll try to become what he thinks other people want him to be to get love and get his needs met, which, of course, later in life, one of those needs is being sexual.
And and so the nice guy is a chameleon. He’s out there trying to please people looking for external validation and hiding all those things about himself that, again, might get a negative reaction.
And in most cases, the two things that nice guys hide the most are their needs and wants and their sexuality. Try attracting a woman, hiding your needs and wants and your sexuality. It doesn’t work.
So what happens?
What most guys then do is resort to what I call nice guy seduction; because they don’t believe a woman would be attracted to them and want to be with them just the way they are because of their internalized beliefs. That “I’m not good enough!”.. They have to seduce using nice guy tendencies.
Something along the lines of – be really nice and sweet, and not be like the jerks they’ve heard women complain about. Hide their sexual agenda. This is really most of what nice guys do, and it is ironically ineffective.
The think like this: “I know I want a woman to like me and maybe one day get naked with me. So I’ll hide the fact from her that I have any sexual desire for her, you know, because that’ll make me a bad guy and that’ll make the woman not want to be with me.”
So nice guys listen to the woman talk, they try to help her solve her problems, they pay her car payment. Help her sister move.
They’re going to become what I call a “girlfriend with a p***s” or typically is as we would hear it.. end up in the FRIEND ZONE.
And, you know, and if they ever do get the nerve up to ask the woman out, she gets surprised: “What? No, you’re my friend. I had never even thought of you that way.”
And the woman’s telling the truth because the guy has hidden so many parts of himself and tried so hard to please the woman by trying to do the things he thinks that he’s come to believe will make a woman interested in him, usually by being different than the bad men he’s heard his mother or other women complain about, and so he has no life energy,
Why Nice Guys don’t attract the women they like
Robert: So a nice guy. there’s nothing inherent about him that will just attract the feminine, that will create polarity, that will draw to him what he wants.
So he has to go and try to make it happen. And and then typically, when that doesn’t work well and if he’s lonely enough and they’ll go online and start finding, you know, the pickup related stuff.
So he thinks: “I’ll just find a few tricks, some hypnosis.. This will get women to to want to be with me.“
Then they become what I call “geeks with techniques” – is “I’ll do this and women will want to be with me.. I’ll do this and I’ll do this.“
But he’s still not being himself. There’s no him there in that.
And so for me, the most fundamental thing I believe men can do to be attractive to all things feminine, whether that’s opportunity, adventure, money, women, dogs, cats, babies, whatever is to to to be yourself.
What women want (How to be TRULY yourself)
Robert: And as I was sharing earlier, to get comfortable in your own skin, to live life on your terms, to become a social animal, to get out there and just start living a big life and living that big life is amazingly attractive to everything that’s not nailed down.
Matt: That’s all for now, man. I absolutely recommend reading No More Mr. Nice Guy if you haven’t yet. And if you found this content absolutely valuable, share it with your fellow men who you think suffer from the “Nice Guy” syndrome. We’re here to help you guys become the best versions of yourself – and being a nice guy, that’s not you who you really are, man!
Keep up the great work and stay awesome!
Cheers, -Matt
https://media.theattractiveman.com/file/w_700,h_265,c_fit,q_80/blog-images-5-7.jpg265700Matt Artisanhttps://media.theattractiveman.com/file/logo-light-e.pngMatt Artisan2021-01-20 11:01:382021-01-20 11:01:40Why Nice Guys Finish Last | No More Mr. Nice Guy w/ Dr. Robert Glover
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How to Get a Girlfriend in 2021 (The Ultimate Guide to Getting a Girlfriend)
/0 Comments/in Approaching, Attraction Tips, Confidence, Dating Advice, Sexuality /by Matt ArtisanAll right, so let’s cut to the chase. You want a girlfriend and the reason you clicked on this article is because you think there’s something that you don’t know or maybe even something wrong with you that’s stopping you from getting one.
…Or should I say her, because you probably have a specific girl in mind already, am I right?
You just don’t know what to do. So then the question is, how do you take a girl that you like and turn her into your girlfriend?
If you want to know the answer to that question, then this might be one of the most important articles that you’ve ever read, because I’m going to show you the four foolproof steps that every man must follow in order to make that happen.
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HOW TO GET A GIRLFRIEND IN 2021
The Ultimate Guide to Getting a Girlfriend
I wish I knew this back in the day because I used to always sabotage myself. Any time I liked a girl, I would always say the wrong things and women would literally scatter.
I remember my best friend told me, “girls like you, man, until you open your mouth.” And that just hit me like a ton of bricks. It took me a lot of trial and error to really figure this out.
But when I did, getting a super high quality girlfriend became really easy and I was able to increase my standards. And here’s something you need to understand. Regardless of your experience to date, it’s actually pretty darn easy to get a girlfriend. Understand that you’re actually in a buyer’s market and when you’re in a buyer’s market, you have all the power.
THE SCARCITY MINDSET AND WHY WOMEN LOVE A MAN WITH A PLAN
This is the first mistake that most guys make. They don’t realize that they’re surrounded by an ocean of women that are looking for someone like them. This mistake builds a scarcity mindset within them and brings closer to opening a new tab watching women online than landing that cute girl they met and had chemistry with at the coffee shop.
The second mistake that guys make is even worse. And you probably make it every day. It’s when you don’t have a plan.
A plan of how to take a girl that you like and turn her into your girlfriend.
You ask yourself, and it’s all a bit of a mystery, like trying to describe what the Force is. You simply don’t know what to do. And because of this, you might think that guys who do have girlfriends are somehow better than you or they have something that you don’t have.
I guess they do have something you don’t have… a girlfriend. BUT that doesn’t make them better than you and the reality is you just probably don’t know what you’re doing – And the other guys had their dad or big brother or pervy uncle show them the ropes.
This lack of a plan, coupled with the fact that you and every other guy on the planet fails to realize the sheer number of opportunities around you are the reason that you spent the last few years getting repetitive strain injury in your wrist rather than cuddling up in front of Netflix with the hot barista that you’ve always wanted to ask out.
But for the sake of your aching heart, that ends now, I’m going to give you my 4-step foolproof plan into taking that classy, sassy senorita and turning her into your high quality, loving girlfriend.
This isn’t going to be a list of techniques, and this is not going to be ridiculously complicated. But I can promise you, if you follow these four steps to the teeth, you will land the girlfriend that you’ve been looking for.
STEP 1
YOU NEED TO KNOW WHAT YOU BELIEVE
Your beliefs about yourself and about women and about the world in general are going to torpedo your chances to get a high quality girlfriend faster than anything else on Earth.
This is why it’s so important to actually take a step back and examine your beliefs about women.
Do you believe you’re attractive to women? Do you believe women are interested in your personality? Do you believe you deserve a top ten Instagram model girlfriend?
Do you believe you’re worthy of love? You really need to dig in and really find out what makes you tick. If you find that you have a bunch of unhealthy or limiting negative beliefs that aren’t helping you, start to challenge them. And ask yourself if they’re really true.
You also need to know what you want when you actually know what kind of girlfriend you’re looking for. It gives you a clear target. Why, you might ask?
Well, that girl certainly has hobbies. She has certain interests and lives a certain way and has a specific type. For example, if you like rocker chicks, then going to rock concerts and getting a bunch of tattoos is probably going to help you land that kind of girl.
But there’s one big caveat.
Do not go for a girl that is your complete opposite. For example, if you’re a bookish, introverted guy, finding a girl who likes to hit up nightclubs and sing karaoke, partying till 3AM.. probably isn’t a good idea. No matter how hard she is, you’ve got to find someone more your speed and knowing exactly what you want will mean that you have standards. Because you won’t just let anybody be your girlfriend.
And a guy with standards is a lot more attractive than a guy who will just go for anything.
Look, man, understanding your beliefs about yourself and knowing exactly what you want gives you the strongest foundation for meeting women and having the confidence to get a girlfriend.
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STEP 2
MAKE SURE YOUR CAKE IS BAKED BEFORE PUTTING ON THE ICING
A girlfriend is the icing on an already excellent life cake. By this I mean she enhances a life that’s already good.
If your life sucks and you have a dull social life, a crappy job and you’re still wearing last week’s underpants.. then you need to fix all that first, the easiest way to attract a high quality woman is to have a life that you enjoy because she sees it as the kind of life that she would love to be swept up in.
And she admires you for taking care of yourself and for taking your life seriously. When you’re trying to get a girlfriend, but your life is a little bit of a shambles. It just screams that you’re looking for her to be a Band-Aid.
And you’re not a man who’s in charge of his own world. Sorting out your “life cake” before you get some “girlfriend icing” also comes with the added benefit of improving your confidence, your looks, your bank balance, your social life and, of course, your sex life, all of which will help you attract a higher quality girlfriend.
In other words, it’s one of the closest things to a magic pill that you’re going to find.
But look, I know you’re probably thinking, why do I have to build this amazing life just to get one girlfriend? I’m going to let you in on a little secret: For girls, an attractive life isn’t one filled with Ferraris, suitcases filled with money and models hanging off your arm..
It’s just a guy whose life is at least a little bit above average.
That’s it, man. A guy whose life is a little bit above average and she can curl up on the sofa with and eat ice cream and watch Netflix. Seems pretty doable, right? I hope so, because that’s it.
STEP 3
LEARN A WOMAN’S SECRET LANGUAGE
Your future girlfriend is a girl, and you’re going to have to speak to her at some point.
So as scary as it might seem right now, you’re going to have to get comfortable speaking to women. Not only that, but you don’t know where you’re going to meet the girl that ends up becoming your girlfriend, especially if you want a really high quality girlfriend.
Relying on the easy swiping of online dating is probably not going to cut it because women are bombarded by messages from other guys.
So the competition is really effing high. You need to grab your balls, build up some courage and some resilience and learn how to speak to women in real life in all different types of environments, like walking down the street in a coffee shop while she’s at work, at bars, parks, wherever.
Because look, man, at the end of the day, dating, whether you’re looking for sex or for love, is a numbers game. The more you play, the more you win. This means you’re going to want to increase your chances of meeting her as much as possible.
And when I first started meeting women in everyday situations, I looked like a deer in headlights because I felt like I was bothering them.
My results were pretty slim. But as I did thousands upon thousands of approaches, I became a lot better. I became a lot more confident and I was able to spark sexual tension immediately and women’s eyes would just light up.
The good news is you don’t have to do thousands of approaches. You don’t have to learn the hard way like I did. All you need to do is get a mentor.
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STEP 4
MAKE YOUR MOVE
Do you know when the best time to ask a girl out is?
“Yesterday”
The second best time?
“Right Now”
A while back, I taught a class in Singapore with 14 women and I asked them, what’s the biggest hang up that you have when it comes to men and dating? And they all unanimously agreed their biggest hang up or gripe or challenge was that men in their culture did not make the move. But it really applies to all cultures. I mean, imagine that for a second. You’re a beautiful woman and you like a guy, but it’s just not in your nature to make a move.
I’m not saying women can’t make moves. Yes, of course they can. It’s all good.
But it’s just not in a feminine woman’s nature. They just feel very masculine if they have to ask the guy out. But once you’ve challenged your beliefs and you know what you want and you’ve built an attractive lifestyle and you know how to talk to girls, you only need to take one more step.
And it’s pretty simple. You just need to ask her out and go on dates.
Don’t wait man, just do it. And of course, not all women will say yes, but if you do this enough, you will get a yes and you will end up on a date from here. It’s just a matter of time, chemistry and compatibility, which of course, is why step number one is so important. You got to know what you want. When it works, you’ll know.
And when you do. And you’ve been on a bunch of dates and everything’s all kissing lovey dovey looks and thinking about each other all the time, just ask her to be your girlfriend.
Who knows? She might say yes. So call your crush NOW and ask her out man.
And that’s it for your Ultimate Guide To Getting a Girlfriend. Was it really that short? Could it really be that easy? Well DO it, man. You’ve be surprised as to how effective these steps are. Stay tuned for our content next week!
Cheers,
Matt
Confidence Motivation: From CREEP To STUD In Only 3 Hours
/0 Comments/in Approaching, Attraction Tips, Confidence, Dating Advice, Featured, Infield Videos, Leadership /by Matt ArtisanWhen you’re looking for some confidence motivation I always turn back to watching this transformation. You’re going to absolutely love this video, man..
In just 3 short hours we completely changed one of our lucky fans.. From doing approaches that absolutely creeped women out..into confident, memorable and successful interactions AND an INSTANT DATE.
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We kid you not, with 3 hours of coach Jules and coach David’s training and confidence motivation,
a complete newbie who never approached a girl in his life got an instant date….success he never experienced before in his life!
And I’m sure you’re curious as to exactly how this powerful transformation happened..
In this video, coach Jules and David taught a fan how to approach a girl, how to talk to a girl, and how to get a date.. So many guys get flustered when trying to learn how to approach women while walking, and they don’t even know how to approach a girl on the street.
Click the link below to watch the full video on our YouTube channel now:
>>> New Video: From CREEP To STUD In 3 HOURS!
If your interested in some of our coaching (and I’m sure you’re at least curious after watching this video) then click the link below to apply for our coaching programs!
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While you’re here – make sure to grab one of my FREE confidence cheat sheets as well. It absolutely helps with confidence motivation. That’s all for now, man. I’ll see you again in our next value-filled content!
Cheers,
Matt
Why Do Girls Like Bad Boys? | The Dark Side Of Attraction
/0 Comments/in Attraction Tips, Dating Advice, Leadership, Sexuality /by Matt ArtisanWhy do girls like bad boys so much? Do nice guys always finish last? What you’re about to hear is controversial.. because you’ve probably never heard this before. So let’s get right to the interview, shall we?
WHY DO GIRLS LIKE BAD BOYS?
The Dark Side Of Attraction
Matt: I like how you said “be yourself,” because a lot of people have heard that advice.. And don’t understand it because they say, “Oh, I’m always being myself. I’m being so nice and sweet to women.“
And really, are they being themselves, do you think?
Robert: They are not. And you know that that applied to me as well. And yeah, that’s that’s the advice. You know, we used to hear from our mother or something like that “just to be yourself,” you know, and guys will tell me, you know, “I’ve heard that all my life and that sucks. That’s not accurate. I myself and women still don’t want to give me a number. I still don’t want to go out with me.“
And and what’s happened is how can a woman be attracted to a chameleon? How could she be attracted to something that has no life energy
about it? No edge to it? No. No darkness to it. Right? No fierceness to it.
Nice Guy vs. Bad Boy – The Truth Behind What Women Want In Men
Robert: The feminine is attracted to all of those things. And nice guys, just unfortunately. Nice, niceness.. nice is not a turn on to the majority of women, even though women say, “Oh, I want to be with the nice guy” even though they like the idea of being with a guy who treats them well..
And again, I’m not talking about guys being jerks, but unfortunately, oftentimes that is what women get attracted to.
They get attracted to the man that’s unavailable – that they can’t trust, that sleeps around on them, that steals their money, that doesn’t follow through. Why? Because there’s some energy to it.
There’s an edge to it. There’s a vibration to it. And women need that kind of emotional tension for attraction and attachment and sexual arousal. Niceness creates no emotional tension.
Matt: Flat line.. Like it’s so predictable, the asshole, even though, you know, we don’t want to actually become an asshole, but he’s like, nice at some times. But then he’s an asshole and he’s unpredictable and, you know, he’s sweet to her.. But then he doesn’t call her back for a week. He disappears.
Robert: But that what drives them crazy. A woman would rather be driven crazy than be driven bored. Right? And that’s a problem with nice guys, We’re born.. Trying to please other people is always kind of a one-down type of thing.
“Oh, I’ll do nice things for you. I’ll listen to you talk. I’ll do whatever you want, blah, blah, blah. Because I have you up here and I want you to want me.”
But it makes the woman the decider. It gives her all the power. It makes her the Alpha, you the Beta. And and so trying to, you know, be that nice guy to be what we think women want us to be, paradoxically just doesn’t work.
Now, part of the problem is we don’t know what else to do because we’ve been hiding all those other things about ourselves that might actually be a little bit attractive to women.
And what is amazing to most guys, like it was to me, is that women are drawn to the darkness in us.
They’re drawn to to the part of us that can be an asshole. They’re drawn to us. The part that that, you know, wants to f*** them to god, they’re drawn to us that would protect them from threat that, you know, would draw a sword and cut someone’s head off!
You know, they’re drawn to something fierce and bold and strong.
My wife is younger than me. Mexican woman, grew up in poverty, had to learn to fight. She grew up in her white bred neighborhood suburb of Seattle. And she even says, “I know I got bigger balls than you, but I don’t want to ever feel like my balls are bigger than my man’s.“
It is all in Spanish. And she’s telling the truth.
She is a strong, strong woman, but she wants to know that I’ve got some fierceness about me and she
likes the dark side of me. She likes me to tell her dark, nasty stories. And then this is all stuff I didn’t think, well, women more like that kind of stuff. And it’s been throughout my life as women that have begged for that kind of energy, that kind of darkness.
And finally, it kind of sunk in after a while. Well, why am I hiding that from them? Why am I afraid of them thinking I’m a bad man? They’re drawn to that, that they crave it.
Matt: Hey, man, I hope you enjoyed this topic. Make sure to subscribe to this channel on YouTube so that you can watch the other episodes from the Robert Glover interview and make sure to hit that Bell notification icon.
And listen, man, if you want to go deep and really get this part of your life handled, then I highly recommend either one of our live programs. I’ll put a link to our boot camp schedule down below:
CLICK HERE TO APPLY FOR OUR COACHING PROGRAMS
That’s all for now, man! See you in our next post!
Cheers,
– Matt
3 Easy & Powerful Steps To Attract Women
/0 Comments/in Approaching, Attraction Tips, Confidence, Dating Advice, Inner Confidence, Online Dating, Sexuality /by Matt ArtisanI can tell you that there are just three simple actions that you can do right now to attract women and get them to chase you today instead of it being the other way around.
But first, here’s the hard truth. Most guys will never be chased by women. You may have experienced this yourself, the constant fight for her attention, thinking of something funny to say, only to end up empty handed..
It sucks, right? I mean, what’s the point in putting in all this effort if she’s just going to blow you off? And why do girls always seem so indifferent?
Listen, men, women can sense from a mile away when you’re being needy and when they sense this, their sex drive dries up faster than my iPhone battery.
This is because when you’re trying so hard to attract women.. then you chase her subconsciously, you’re telling her that you’re not worth chasing. You’re telling her that you’re just like every other guy, that you’re nothing special, that she is better than you.
The result, of course, instead of making her want you, you end up pushing her away. Probably not the outcome you want, right? If like most guys, you want an outcome that involves a lot more nudity and a lot less soul crushing rejection, then I’m going to show you exactly what to do.
In fact, I can tell you what to do. And just one simple sentence in you’re sharp sharpies ready? You need to take her down off that pedestal and tell her subconscious mind that you’re the type of guy that she needs to chase.
But here’s the most important thing that nobody in the dating advice industry will tell you.
3 POWERFUL STEPS TO ATTRACT WOMEN
(Get Girls To Chase YOU)
There are only three ways to do this. Not a million, not a bazillion, just three. Three steps to attract women enough to get her to chase you.
I cannot make this more clear. Most experts will tell you you need an Instagram that’s fully loaded, full of pictures of you flexing next to your Ferrari while holding a puppy. Trust me, man, you don’t need to ignore her and hit on her friend.
You don’t even need to show her that you’re constantly surrounded by women and you don’t need to master the seven mysterious psychological tricks that manipulate women.
Here’s a hint: they don’t work.
Trust me, man. I spent years trying pretty much every pickup trick in the book and yeah some of them can work, but more often than not, they will backfire.
You don’t need to do things like that! And when you hear other experts tell you to do things like that, run the other direction.
Here’s what I want you to do instead:
STEP #1 – “Do not treat her like a princess”
Even though that’s what mainstream media tells you to do.
Before I started working on this part of my life, I had a huge crush on this girl that I thought was way out of my league. But somehow we ended up hooking up a couple of times and I became really attached.
I just became infatuated with her and I ended up sending her flowers and poetry on Valentine’s Day, even though we had only been dating for just a few weeks. And when she didn’t return my calls or text messages, I would stalk her friend at work and try to find out information like “Where’s Nikki? Why isn’t she replying back to me?”
And she ended up completely blocking me on all social media because I was way too needy, because there’s an old saying,
You might even say that she wants to be treated like a princess, but in reality, she just wants to be treated like a person. That’s part of how to attract women..
This means be honest with her. You disagree with her? Just tell her! If you want to take a chance and flirt with her, then do it. You feel a bit of sexual tension, then embrace it. If you feel like playfully teasing her? Then just do it.
If you feel like getting up from the date and spinning around and moonwalking away, then do it!
But seriously, man, when you’re 100% honest with her, you inherently prevent yourself from ever chasing her. It’s really a pretty simple fix. You also create an environment of honesty that just creates a more fun, flirtatious and natural vibe between you and her.
Lots of guys look for ways to create bursts of sexual tension or create a low key, flirtatious vibe. But really all that comes from honesty.
You don’t need a new technique. You just need to stop dicking around and be honest. You feel it. So you do it. And it all starts with treating her like a regular person. Which brings me to step number two..
STEP # 2 – “Pull the trigger.”
When I first started learning the stuff, I remember I went to a club in downtown L.A. and I approached these two girls and I started really hitting it off with one of the girls who I thought was pretty much a total ten in looks.
And so I really liked her. And I remember she told me she was already dating three other guys, which made me want her more like she was kind of a challenge, and so I remember kind of playing it safe, I could tell she really wanted me to make a move on her.
And that’s because women rarely make the first move.
I’m sorry, man, but unless you’re Ryan Gosling, you’re not going to just walk out of your house, attract women and have them chasing you. You’re going to have to make a move first.
I don’t care if she’s at work, at the bar, walking down the street, or she’s the cute cashier at Whole Foods. You have to make the first move. If you don’t, you’re dead in the water and she’ll never chase you, let alone kiss you.. Go back to your place and play a little naked twister.
A lot of idiot dating coaches will tell you to hide your desire and use secret steps that make her make the first move.
Spoiler alert: she probably won’t.
And if she does, she probably comes with a price tag. One of the best ways that you can make a move is by showing your desire as long as you do it the right way. Not in a way that’s creepy. Make it clear that you like her and that you’re not afraid to show it.
Simply put, if you’re afraid to show your interest in her, then you’re just like every other guy that orbits around her waiting for some magical opportunity to show up.
So WHY would she chase you? Which brings me to step number three..
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STEP #3 – “Be the one percent man.”
The truth is men, that girls don’t need to chase a guy to get laid or get a boyfriend or get married. Because like 99% of guys will chase them.
So then ask yourself, why would you she chase you?
The only reason that you would chase you.. Is because you’re that type of guy that she never meets.
In simple economic lingo, you’re a “scarce resource,” so your value shoots way up and her strategy therefore, has to change. Its basic supply and demand. So then what kind of guy does she never meet?
I know what you’re thinking. And no, it’s not just rich guys. There are plenty of guys with money out there. And trust me, man, a lot of my clients are very wealthy before they come to me. They’re struggling in their dating lives because they’re still chasing women.
And actually answer this question by just listening to any woman going on a Cosmo fueled rant about her dating life. They rarely meet guys who have their own lives, a clearly defined purpose, who are independent.
Believe it or not, they rarely meet guys who have their life fundamentals together: A Career he likes, friends he likes, a life that he likes to live.
These kind of guys are just naturally a challenge to women because they can be. Because they’re a catch. These are the kind of guys and really who truly enjoy their lives and they know they’re totally fine, regardless whether they get her or not. That’s the kind of guy that she wants to chase. One who can attract women effortlessly.
And here’s a little reality check, just in case you’ve been nodding along.
Look, man, if you want her to chase you, you have to build a life that is completely independent of her.
For every guy, this is a little bit different because everybody wants different things. But if you can make the changes in your life necessary to achieve this, it will drive women crazy. And you’ll just naturally be a challeng to women because you’ll be on your life’s purpose.
And as you work on yourself and become the most attractive, confident version of yourself and learn how to talk to women and approach women with confidence, you’ll have so many options. And guys with options don’t chase women. They’re the ones who get chased.
So you can take one thing away from this.. Let it be:
If you can sort out your life, she will chase you simply because you are YOU.
Something that we in the business call “Easy mode.”
So keep up the great work, be the 1% man, attract women AND success.. and stay awesome!
Cheers,
Matt
Why Nice Guys Finish Last | No More Mr. Nice Guy w/ Dr. Robert Glover
/0 Comments/in Approaching, Attraction Tips, Confidence, Dating Advice, Inner Confidence /by Matt ArtisanThe reason why nice guys finish last has always been argued. It is especially relevant as it ever was today, when most men are absolutely confused as to how to attract women (and even just have a decent interaction with them!)
Today’s advice comes straight from Dr. Robert Glover himself, author of one of my most recommended books “No More Mr. Nice Guy.”
If you haven’t read the book, you absolutely need to. And I would easily say 90 to 95 percent of our clients who come to us that are unsuccessful with wome, I would definitely classify as “nice guys.”
WHY NICE GUYS FINISH LAST
Nice Guys need to learn the hard way – from experience
Josiah: I see some of the irony that you started off your dating life as a “therapist for the women” got a real degree as a therapist, and then wrote a book about how to NOT be a therapist to women.
Robert: There you go. you you’re good with the irony of things.
Josiah: Hey man, it’s actually how it all ends up turning out most of the time, though.
Robert: For most of us, Yeah. And I often tell people that, I write and teach whatever I’ve struggled with, whatever I bumbled my way through. Degrees are irrelevant its really what have you what have you learned in the process and what have you applied, and how it changes things.
Josiah: Nothing better than life experience to teach you real lessons. And sometimes they come really hard, but you’ve got to learn it that way sometimes.
Robert: The best ones often come pretty hard and hopefully you just treat them that way. They’re lessons. That’s all it is. We’re all, you know, we’re all just out there learning.
Nice guys ALWAYS want things to be perfect with women (It NEVER is)
Robert: And I know so many guys I work with and maybe you guys find that, too. They want to get everything perfect.
You know, they want to have the perfect pickup line. They want everything to go perfectly – perfect opener, perfect texts, perfect date, perfect kiss, perfect smile, blah, blah, blah.
That’s not how life works and especially not how things work with women. Nothing ever goes perfect with women. That’s just the nature of the beast. But nice guys want to get it perfect.
I try to give guys permission. Bumble your way through. It’s OK to make mistakes, to look foolish. It’s OK to crash and burn. Just get up, get up and do it again and learn something each time.
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What is a “Nice Guy”
(..and why you shouldn’t be one)
Matt: So Robert, for guys reading this, what exactly is a nice guy for you? I mean, it sounds like it’s a good thing. Why is it not such a good thing, especially if you’re a single guy? What are the characteristics and why is it a problem?
Robert: Whether you’re single guy or in relationship, it can be a problem. So my definition of a nice guy is a guy who at an early age, internalized inaccurately the belief that there’s something wrong with him and that he’s got to hide certain things about him from the world.
That’s so he doesn’t get a negative reaction.. and he’ll try to become what he thinks other people want him to be to get love and get his needs met, which, of course, later in life, one of those needs is being sexual.
And and so the nice guy is a chameleon. He’s out there trying to please people looking for external validation and hiding all those things about himself that, again, might get a negative reaction.
And in most cases, the two things that nice guys hide the most are their needs and wants and their sexuality. Try attracting a woman, hiding your needs and wants and your sexuality. It doesn’t work.
So what happens?
What most guys then do is resort to what I call nice guy seduction; because they don’t believe a woman would be attracted to them and want to be with them just the way they are because of their internalized beliefs. That “I’m not good enough!”.. They have to seduce using nice guy tendencies.
Something along the lines of – be really nice and sweet, and not be like the jerks they’ve heard women complain about. Hide their sexual agenda. This is really most of what nice guys do, and it is ironically ineffective.
The think like this: “I know I want a woman to like me and maybe one day get naked with me. So I’ll hide the fact from her that I have any sexual desire for her, you know, because that’ll make me a bad guy and that’ll make the woman not want to be with me.”
So nice guys listen to the woman talk, they try to help her solve her problems, they pay her car payment. Help her sister move.
They’re going to become what I call a “girlfriend with a p***s” or typically is as we would hear it.. end up in the FRIEND ZONE.
And, you know, and if they ever do get the nerve up to ask the woman out, she gets surprised: “What? No, you’re my friend. I had never even thought of you that way.”
And the woman’s telling the truth because the guy has hidden so many parts of himself and tried so hard to please the woman by trying to do the things he thinks that he’s come to believe will make a woman interested in him, usually by being different than the bad men he’s heard his mother or other women complain about, and so he has no life energy,
Why Nice Guys don’t attract the women they like
Robert: So a nice guy. there’s nothing inherent about him that will just attract the feminine, that will create polarity, that will draw to him what he wants.
So he has to go and try to make it happen. And and then typically, when that doesn’t work well and if he’s lonely enough and they’ll go online and start finding, you know, the pickup related stuff.
So he thinks: “I’ll just find a few tricks, some hypnosis.. This will get women to to want to be with me.“
Then they become what I call “geeks with techniques” – is “I’ll do this and women will want to be with me.. I’ll do this and I’ll do this.“
But he’s still not being himself. There’s no him there in that.
And so for me, the most fundamental thing I believe men can do to be attractive to all things feminine, whether that’s opportunity, adventure, money, women, dogs, cats, babies, whatever is to to to be yourself.
What women want (How to be TRULY yourself)
Robert: And as I was sharing earlier, to get comfortable in your own skin, to live life on your terms, to become a social animal, to get out there and just start living a big life and living that big life is amazingly attractive to everything that’s not nailed down.
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Matt: That’s all for now, man. I absolutely recommend reading No More Mr. Nice Guy if you haven’t yet. And if you found this content absolutely valuable, share it with your fellow men who you think suffer from the “Nice Guy” syndrome. We’re here to help you guys become the best versions of yourself – and being a nice guy, that’s not you who you really are, man!
Keep up the great work and stay awesome!
Cheers,
-Matt