Have you ever had a woman ask you how old you are and suddenly you freeze up? Okay, she is probably 21. You are 43. Can you still pull this off? Or worse, you start defending yourself. “I’m 40, but I look young.” “I’m 50, but I still party like I’m 25.” “I’m 60, but I act like I’m 30.” Let me stop you right there. That kills attraction instantly.
Why? Because when you defend yourself, you’re basically saying, “I hope I’m still good enough for you.” Now you’re chasing. You’re seeking approval, and it gives her the ick. And I can tell you from personal experience, I’m 43 right now and my dating life has never been better. I’ve dated women in their 20s, 30s, and 40s. Well, actually, not 40s. And it does not matter. Not because of my age, but because I do not let age define me.
The Biggest Mistake Men Make When Asked Their Age
Here is what most guys do wrong. When a woman asks how old they are, they get affected. You can see it in their body language. They tense up. They pause. They get fidgety. They start explaining themselves, and they almost always try to qualify themselves. “I’m 40, but people say I look 28.” “I’m 52, but I don’t act like an old guy.” “I’m 65, but I’m super young at heart.” Sound familiar?
When you start saying things like that, what you’re really saying is, “Please still like me even though I’m old.” Women can smell that insecurity from a mile away.
By the way, overcoming insecurities is the foundation of our coaching because pretty much every guy has insecurities, mental roadblocks, emotional baggage, and shame that hold them back from becoming their most attractive selves and ultimately dating their dream woman. If you’re interested, check out the link in the description to see how our coaching works.
Why Confident Men Don’t Care About Age
Here is the truth. Attractive men are unapologetically okay with who they are. Age is not an issue. It does not faze them because they are not trying to fit into her world. They are trying to see if she fits into theirs. You need to be fully grounded and fully okay with your age and the fact that yes, you might be older than her. And guess what? That can actually be a turn on if you own it.
Because here is what society does not tell you. A confident, grounded man with life experience and emotional maturity is far more attractive to most women than some 25 year old still trying to figure himself out.
What to Say When She Asks How Old You Are
So what do you actually say when she asks how old you are?
Step one: stay relaxed. Do not flinch. Do not hesitate. Just smile.
Step two: use humor to show that you are unfazed and it is no big deal. If you are in your 40s, you can say:
“I’m 78, but I use a lot of moisturizer.”
“I’m 21 too. I just aged early because I partied a lot.”
“I was born during the Cold War. I’m still recovering.”
I think you get the point. But these are fun, so here are a few more:
“I’m like a fine wine, getting better with age, slightly more expensive, and harder to find.”
“Let’s just say I was born before Instagram but after the dinosaurs.”
“Let’s just say I remember when Netflix mailed DVDs.”
“Let’s just say my knees make more noise than my phone.”
“Why? You think I’m out of your league?”
“Try to guess. If you get it right, I’ll buy you a drink. If you get it wrong, I’ll still buy you a drink.”
“Old enough to know you asked that because you want to flirt with me.”
She will probably laugh, and you have reframed the moment into something fun. That shows her that you are a cool, playful, chill guy who does not take things too seriously. It shows that age is not a big deal to you, and that is the key because your response tells her everything she needs to know about your confidence level.
When She Presses for Your Real Age
Now, if she presses and asks, “No, really, how old are you?” do not keep joking. That is your time to own it. Just say your age directly and confidently, then flip the script.
“I’m 43. Wait, how old are you? You might be way too young for me. Okay, I’ll give you a shot though. Tell me something you have done that people would consider very immature for your age.”
Boom. Now you are the one qualifying her. You have taken control of the frame. You are showing her that you are not seeking her approval, that you have standards, and she has to live up to your expectations. And this should not be just a line you say. It should be how you truly feel.
That creates instant polarity and attraction because whether she admits it or not, women do not want to feel more powerful than the man they are with. They want to feel safe, led, and challenged. They love a man who is a challenge because they do not want a guy who is instantly head over heels just because she is attractive. She wants to have to win you over.
The Real Reason Age Turns Women Off
So remember, it is not your age that turns women off. It is your insecurity about your age. Own your age. Own your life. Stop apologizing for where you are. When you do that, you will find that younger women are not just open to dating you, they are actively attracted to you.
If you want to learn how to master these high status mindsets and become the man women chase, DM me on Instagram at @mattartisan or click the link in the description to book a free consultation so we can see if our coaching program is a good fit for you.