why you should approach women during the day

Why you should Approach Women During the Day

Hey guys! I’m back with my Infield Sessions – this time I’m in Cancun and I’m going to show YOU why you should approach women during the day.

We’ve been asked so many times how to approach women during the day. This video shows you how to approach them in the streets, how to approach a girl in the store, how to approach women in the shop or park. It’s all about the daytime approach guys. Guys always think the best way to meet women is in clubs and bars after a few. But, the reality is, women prefer guys that take the time to talk to them during the day. If you want to meet amazing women then watch this video on how to approach women during the day. I promise, you won’t regret it.

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Want us to train and mentor you so you can approach girls and get the women you want to be with you? Apply HERE for our mentorship programs!

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10 tips for approaching women

10 Tips for Approaching Women in Public Places

When you see a gorgeous woman, you have about 5 seconds to come across as either creepy and intimidating or attractive and mysterious.

And the difference between the two is all in the approach.

I’m Renee Slansky with The Attractive Man, and today I will give you 10 tips for approaching women in public so that you know if and when to approach her and how to come across as confident and desirable at the same time.

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-Download the Conversation Cheat Sheet for more on what to say to her. 

In Public Places

I’m a professional dating and relationship coach, and I’m here to help men like yourself understand women and become a more confident man.

So, let’s talk about approaching women in public places. There is always a fine line between looking like a stalker and causing her to want to run away and looking like an alpha male who knows what he wants and isn’t afraid to get it.

The truth is, the majority of the time we as women do want men to approach us, because it makes us feel more attractive and singled out, however, there are also sometimes when we are sending off apparent signals not to come near, and to be frank it really turns us off when you ignore them and push your agenda on us.

But it’s not to say that you can’t change our mind, so what I will do is break down the whole process for you and give you my top 10 tips to know when and if to approach us , how to turn the situation around so that we feel comfortable in your presence and of course how to set the right impression so that we feel safe and interested in who you are.

Let’s jump in!

1: Assess the environment – is she busy or with a bunch of girlfriends? Is she wearing a wedding ring? Does she look intoxicated or is she focused on something else important?

2: What is her body language saying – Does she have her arms or legs crossed? Is she looking around, does she look anxious or guarded?

3: Make your presence known without approaching her- Let her see you in her peripheral vision and get her subconscious associated that you are in her presence. Then move in and out of her line of sight without actually speaking or looking at her.

4: Catch her eye and smile – Test to see if she notices you with a smile or eye contact. Don’t hold eye contact for longer than a few seconds. See what her response is after you have caught her eye. What do her reaction and body language say?

5: Pick a feature or detail to focus on and compliment us – If you are going to approach her, have something in mind to talk about in a way to compliment her, but do not make it anything sexual. The smaller the detail the better as it shows you pay attention to the little things.

6: Never approach from behind – It’s creepy and doesn’t make us feel safe, plus it feels deceptive. Approach from the front or side so she can see you and your confidence.

7: Approach with a smile- A small genuine smile, not a huge cheesy or sleazy one. Stay natural and look like you are happy to see us, almost like we are an old friend.

8: Have relaxed body language and keep a distance between you both – Coming on too intense or too close will make us want to back off and put up walls. Keep at least a meter apart from her and try to keep your body relaxed. (Not crossing arms in front of chest or hands on hips.) You can come across as a confident alpha male without coming across as overbearing.

9: Don’t be so serious make her laugh- If you want to impress a woman and make her feel at ease, then the key is to get her to laugh. It doesn’t mean you have to have jokes up your sleeve, but rather just don’t take the conversation so seriously and look for an opening where you can make a comment that makes you both relate and laugh about it. Again compliments should be on the details, not sexual zones, ie, bum, boobs or lips.

10: Ask questions but listen more than you speak – Giving her your undivided attention (meaning not looking at your phone, around the room or other women) makes her feel special. Show her your interest by asking about her and then actively listening (portray this through your body language) affirm what she is saying, don’t agree with everything and leave some mystery about yourself…

Your approach is the beginning of initiating anything with a woman, hence why it can either seal your fate or open up limitless opportunities.  Master the approach and give a great first impression, while minimizing rejection.

But of course you have to have a conversation with her, so if you haven’t already downloaded our free conversation cheat sheet then click on the image above, right now!


You get:

  • Our top conversation starters for any situation…
  • Simple techniques to never run out of things to say…
  • A list of my favorite games to play that create a fun-flirty vibe
  • And simple ways to escalate the interaction.
  • And more!

Also, if you’re not subscribed, HIT THAT SUBSCRIBE BUTTON!… and if you want us to personally show you how to meet women, check out our boot camp schedule.

I’m Renee Slanksy for The Attractive Man and I’ll see you in my next video!

Bye for now!

how to approach women

What To Do When A Girl Looks At You

Do you know exactly what to do when a beautiful girl looks at you? Lots of guys blow it.

That FIRST GLANCE is crucial for setting the tone. You HAVE to know HOW to react to this situation!

​​Your only chance to seal the deal could SLIP AWAY in a heartbeat. 

So what should you do when a girl looks at you?

That’s exactly what I’ll show you in this video.

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What To Do When A Girl Looks At You

Before we go over what to do, I noticed a lot of pickup artists’ usually recommend you act all aloof and mysterious, like skulking at an area trying to act as if you’re waiting for women to come to you instead.

That doesn’t work very well. If anything, women will find you creepy, and probably stay away from you for good. Seriously, don’t give off a serial killer vibe.  

If she looks at you and you are taking your time, it can ruin the mood and can make it seem like you are scared to talk to her. And don’t do the infamous “This drink’s from that guy across the table” – If you’re going to buy her a drink then take it to her yourself!

Now, most of the time when a girl looks at you, that means she’s interested in you, so that’s a great start. All you have to do now is capitalize on the situation.

First: Make Sure to Look Back!

Women love a man of action. Alpha males are what attracts women the most! So take charge and control.

Women usually don’t make the first move, MEN do. She’s looking at you to make sure you get the message.

When you’ve caught her looking at you, look back without hesitation.

  • If she looks away before you get the chance, keep looking back for a few seconds to catch her attention.
  • It’s important that she knows you noticed her.

Looking back can already create romantic tension, and that’s even before any word come out of your mouth!

  • Maintain dominance when looking back. Don’t act all meek and stare at the floor – If she stares back, keep looking at her as if you’re enjoying each other, even before you get near.

Second: Smile

Now that you’ve caught her attention, make sure you smile at her! That’s one of the things that attracts a woman the most. You should check our other article out – it has all you need to know to learn how to attract a girl!

According to research, smiling activates the pleasure sensors in our body almost the same as eating chocolate. Simply looking at someone’s smile literally brightens up your day!

  • A chin up, confident smile is the way to go. It actually gives women comfort and shows that you’re going to be a fun guy to be with.
  • When you’re looking back at her, the moment she notices, give her the best smile you have – one that says “hey, let’s have some fun!”
  • You can also look away and smile for a moment, then look back at her. This draws a certain allure and mystery while at the same time acknowledging that you’re going to approach her and would love to know her better. 

Here are also some things you should not do:

  • Avoid a creepy nodding smile or cheesy smirk.
  • And please don’t frown thinking it’s cool to feel entitled. Women hate that.
  • Don’t try too much to force a smile either, just relax, make sure it comes naturally as if you appreciate her looking at you and you’re enjoying every moment.

A good way to know your perfect smile is to practice in front of the mirror every day – go ahead, it actually helps!

Third: Establish Powerful Eye Contact

Confidence dictates control. When you look at a woman, always try to maintain eye contact even before the conversation starts!

  • Check her reaction, the moment you’ve looked back, and she notices, lock eyes immediately.
  • Keep at it if she’s doing the same, it’s actually a very enjoyable stare-down especially after you’ve thrown the perfect smile at her.

If she looks away quickly, that means one of three things – she got creeped out, OR she’s the shy type, OR she’s playing hard to get. Yes, women do these all the time. Whatever the reason, you shouldn’t give up.

  • If you think she’s the shy type, then give her enough time to adjust, turn it down a notch, but don’t wait too long to approach, or you’ll lose your chance!
  • If you think she’s playing hard to get, then, by all means, keep the confidence up and take control.

Remember to focus on her eyes; it can be a turn-off and unclassy to stare at her body rather than her face.

And Finally: Approach Her

Taking the previous tips into consideration, approaching her is the best part.

Remember guys, a woman looking at you is an invitation. Women don’t make the move, MEN do. Instinctively, women go for the aggressive and assertive man, because that’s exactly what they look for in males – security, and if you’re sloppy and slow, that looks like a weakness and a turn-off. When women throw out the signal, men who make the move are instantly more attractive.

Remember that

  • Body movements are important, walking tall, with a straight back and your head up.
  • No slouching or looking at the ground.
  • Keep the eye contact when established.

Open the conversation right

Now, you probably already have that girl all excited even before you started talking to her. And that’s great! When you approach her to make sure you keep that confidence up and start out strong! Here are a few great opening lines:

  • “Hey, I don’t think we’ve met yet, I’m _____.”
  • “You can’t just look at me like that without at least saying hi.”
  • “Hi there, I’m ____ by the way.”

Wing Girl Wisdom: Be a gentleman and always introduce yourself first. And remember, women love compliments. That’s partly the reason we get dressed up and put all our effort into looking good in the first place. Aside from loving to feel pretty ourselves, it’s also to have men appreciate our beauty.


So remember, An attractive girl looking at you from afar can mean a lot of things. One thing’s for sure, though, be a MAN – give her a look back and make your move – she’ll appreciate that, and you’ll thank me later.


All of these openers buy you a few seconds of time. What’s really important is what comes after the opener.

I created this Free Conversation Cheat Sheet where I break down exactly what to say after “Hi” to make her want you.

You get:

  • My top conversation starters for any situation…
  • Simple techniques to never run out of things to say…
  • A list of my favorite games to play that create a fun-flirty vibe
  • And simple ways to escalate the interaction.
  • And more!

Download it now because you’ll want to keep this handy before you go out.

And if you want us to show you how to meet women personallyclick here to check out the live Bootcamp Schedule.

I’m out! Cheers!

how to approach a girl

Learn How to Approach a Girl or Women | The Attractive Man

Most men don’t know how to approach a girl correctly. The fact is that most guys get nervous at the thought of approaching a girl. Whether it’s to get her number, to pick her up, or even just to get to know her – Most men find it difficult to overcome this essential first step.

Whether you’re young or old, our guidelines will help you approach women effortlessly and successfully!

We are the go-to experts when it comes to approaching women. We’ve conducted boot camps in 40 countries, showing men the art of approaching and meeting beautiful women. What we teach is a simple step-by-step system for how to approach women.

So take out your pens and papers because you’re going to want to jot down everything here – have these points handy and go out and meet some ladies.

Now, before we get there, let’s lay down what you need to learn if you want to get the girl.

  1. Inner Game – Having the confidence to approach, and feel comfortable while doing it.
  2. The Approach – Meeting her and getting her attracted.
  3. The Close – Following up later, or taking her home.

If you can wrap your head around these simple steps on how to approach a girl for the first time, you’ll be guaranteed results.

Let’s get started on some concepts that prepare us for our first approach.

What You Need To Know Before You Approach Her

What Is She Looking For When You Approach Her?

how to approach a girl

Hey, what if we told you that you could spark instant attraction within a few moments of approaching her? All you have to know is what her instincts want in a man.

Instinct drives men and women unconsciously. She will know right away after you approach her, if she is attracted to you or not based on her instincts. When you strip everything down to the core, it’s actually instinct that drives our actions, reactions, and feelings towards what’s happening around us.

Back in the cavemen era, women were looking for men that could provide and protect.  She needed a man with confidence, strength, and resources to provide and protect her and her offspring.

Men, on the other hand, instinctively preferred women who were ideal for childbearing and were nurturing for their young. (Which explains why we find women with larger breasts or wide hips more attractive even today.)

So we know that women want a man that can provide and protect her, but how does she know that you can?

Here’s what she is looking for:

How Calm You Are: The most significant thing she will look for is how relaxed you are in her presence. If you are fidgeting or stumbling over your words, she’ll know you’re not the guy for her.

Eye Contact That Shows Desire: Women can tell a lot about you from your eyes. She can see if you’re grounded, or if you’re scared. Also, she can tell if you’re low status or high status. She can also tell if you feel desire towards her. You should look at her like she wishes you were being intimate with her. Make sure to keep your eye contact steady. To help, stay focused on her left eye.

Approaching Without Hesitation: Most guys will have to build up the courage to approach her… and she’ll notice. If you hesitate, you’re toast from the beginning.

High-Status Body Language: She instinctively will read your body language and see if you’re an ideal suitor. The main thing you should know is to move slowly and with purpose. High-status guys don’t fidget and do things sporadically. They move with intention. This slow movement creates tension. And of course, stand tall with good masculine posture.

Proud Facial Expression: Have a proud facial expression because it is proven to be most attractive to women. There should be a slight smile accompanied by it.

High-Status Attire: What you wear says a lot about you, such as whether or not you have access to resources. Present yourself well. However, this doesn’t mean you have to wear a suit everywhere. You can portray high status with a t-shirt and jeans if you pair it with a prestigious watch and shoes.

Loud & Powerful Voice: Project your voice so that you sound sure of yourself. If you are nervous inside, this will usually reveal itself through your voice. So proactively, make it low and strong. (Women are attracted to men with lower voices)



The Correct Mindset When Approaching Women

When you first approach a girl, having the wrong mindset will throw you off entirely. You may have all the qualities and the potential to bring them out, but when your mind isn’t in the right place, your chances of getting the girl to want you are significantly lower.

If you want to know how to approach a girl with success, here’s the mindset you need to have: “Let’s see if this girl is good enough to be with me.”

Most guys go up to her thinking, “I hope she likes me.” They are primarily trying to impress her or win her over. Here’s the deal… you don’t know anything about her yet, so don’t fall in love with her right away.

If there’s one thing you learn from this post, make it this. Have the mindset that she has to prove herself to you. We’ll talk more about this later.



How To Eliminate Nerves When Approaching A Girl

You already know that women like a grounded, secure man… so make sure you approach her in a grounded state.

When we’re talking to women, our most significant difficulty is going to be staying in the moment. It’s easy to get caught up in different thoughts like, “What do I say?” or “What if she has a boyfriend?

It’s a high-pressure situation, especially when you’re first starting out. You need a method for controlling negative ideas that will creep up during the interaction. Without a way to deal with it, it will be much harder to build attraction.

Feeling centered can be described fundamentally as being in your body, and out of your head. You’re not concerned about her feelings towards you, as you’re so focused on having a good time and learning about her.

Now, we have a great course that is all about exploding confidence and crushing approach anxiety, which you can find here… But here is one quick tip you can use today.

When you’re feeling overwhelmed with anxiety, take some grounding breaths.

The key to eliminating nerves is to focus on a very long exhale. Take a deep breath in… and then release it with a slow, 10-second exhale.

Try it now and see how you feel. Do several.

I know it sounds too good to be true, but this will instantly calm your nerves and let you focus on her once again. Before you approach her, do at least one grounding breath.


How To Approach A Girl During The Day

how to approach a girl during the day

Let’s dive into approaching women during the daytime… our specialty. Primarily you’ll use this if you see a girl walking down the street, at a grocery store, at a coffee shop, bank, school, or anywhere. It just may take a slight modification depending on the situation.   

Here’s our simple framework for the best way to approach a girl and get her number when you approach her during the day.

1. Acknowledge the Reality

Start with giving context to the situation. Giving context helps her understand what you are doing.

For example: “Hi, this is completely random, and I know you’re eating lunch with your friend…

2. Compliment Her

This may sound contrary to what you’ve heard, but it works really well. She knows why you are approaching her so just say it. She’ll appreciate your directness.

Girls respond to honesty more than anything. Make it your goal to say something sincere, something that you actually feel. You don’t need a reason to talk to her, but you need a way to show your intentions.

You’re looking for something direct, but atypical.  Don’t use the words ‘hot’ or ‘sexy’ when you’re opening.

Try something like “Hey, this is really random, and I know you are shopping, but I think you’re adorable.”

The most important is to be genuine when you say it. This will be your go-to when opening in almost any situation. When in doubt, remember this.

We’ll go over some situational openers in later sections, but the idea remains the same.

3. Qualify Her

Remember earlier when I mentioned, that you need to see if she meets YOUR standards? This section is part of that. After you meet her, you want to qualify her and see what type of girl she is.

Guys that have options with girls, naturally do this because they can choose which one they want. So by doing this regularly, it shows that you do not just settle for any girl.

Here are some examples: ” I don’t know anything about you… what’s one cool thing about you because I’m very picky about who I hang out with.”

This question is deceptively complex. We’re essentially saying:

  • I find you attractive.
  • I’m not trying to please you; I’m trying to get to know you.
  • I am used to being around girls that are as attractive as you.
  • I’m not sure if you’re right for me, tell me why you are.

“Tell me something about you… like what are you passionate about?”

This one is simple and opens her up to talk about her passions. Talking about passions are great because it gives you a chance to connect with what is meaningful to her.

Now, a big part of qualifying her is how you say it… You have to have a neutral or high-status tone. You don’t want to sound like any answer she gives will suffice.

If she says something you don’t like, tell her that you don’t like it. Express yourself even if that means you disagree with her. Women love a man that can tell them “No.”

4. Close

You’ve made it to the best part. You’ve worked hard to get to this point, and you’d like to see the reward. There might have been some hiccups during the interaction, but you’ve realized that you want to see her again. So, What are our options?

Instadate – An instant-date is when you take a girl on a date the same day that you met her. This gives you time to talk and get to know her, without having to deal with the logistics of meeting up later.

Be forward when you ask her – Remember, you have a lot of options. Ask her to come for a coffee, tea, lunch or a drink. It’s that simple. Once you’ve built some connection, suggest it to her in a direct way. “Hey, let’s go get some coffee, I know this place across the street.”

Always make sure of these two things:

  1. Be decisive. Pick a place and go for it. As long as it’s not awful, it should be fine.
  2. Don’t ask her to come, say “Let’s go” or “We should.” Lead the way.

Get her number – Avoid asking questions like these directly, ex: “Can I have your number?” She’s been asked these hundreds of times. It also shows a lack of confidence because you are communicating to her that you are not sure if she will give you her number.

Instead, try something along the lines of, “Do you text?” as it’s atypical and pretty direct. Then say, let’s exchange numbers. You will find there are times when women will not want to give out their number.

  • If they get hit on frequently, they may be more inclined to give out a fake number. Just imagine how many texts these girls deal with daily.
  • They consider their number very intimate and don’t want to come off as sleazy.
  • Social Media is just more convenient.

Social Media Close –I’m a millennial, so social media is my go-to when it comes to closing, I’ll go over a few of these quickly.

  • Facebook – Try to avoid if possible, unless your profile is pretty active with a lot of presence. You do not want your profile to say “I have no social life.”
  • Instagram – Similar to Facebook, but it’s much easier to create a significant presence here. Avoid if you’re not very active.
  • Snapchat – My personal favorite. The rate of response is extremely high; you can see which girls are watching your story, etc. Do not send unwarranted nudes. There’s no quicker way to kill attraction.

Your/her Place – The best way to get her back to your place is to give her a reason.

If she thinks that you’re only bringing her home only for sex, most of the time it will not go well. So do not singularly ask “Hey want to come home with me?” because this forces her to make the decision about sleeping with you right there on the spot. There is any number of ways to have her come back to your place, and my favorites are:

  • Do you want to watch a movie/listen to music/look at my art?
  • Do you want to meet my pet?
  • Would you like to play video games/pool/other entertainment?

If things have been highly sexual up to this point, keep them that way. Make sure to demonstrate that you’re not boring and that she’ll have fun if she comes with you.

How To Approach Women In Different Daytime Situations

1. Groups of Girls

You may be scared when you are learning how to approach women, especially groups.

But you shouldn’t be.

When you walk up, hold eye contact with the girl that you like. This is important in all approaches but especially here, as it shows that you’re not just trying to attract whoever wants you the most. That’s needy, anyway.

The most important thing that you have to keep in mind when you’re approaching them is that everyone should be involved, even in the open.

“Hey, I just wanted to tell your friend that she is adorable in every way.”

The best way to continue this is to ask her friend questions about the girl you like.

“What is something interesting about Jessica that she’s passionate about and tries to hide?”

2. Mixed Group – Guy and Girl

One of the most intimidating things for newbies is approaching girls that are with guys. You may fear that the guy is a boyfriend, but believe me, this is less often the case. Most of the time it’s going to be:

  • A friend of hers
  • A family member
  • A stranger who just happens to be hovering around her

We’re going to change things up in a pretty interesting way: We’re going to compliment the guy.

Now, I’m not talking about walking up and complimenting his hipster beard. More specifically, you’re going to notice that he has a beautiful girlfriend and compliment him on that. When you open, say to him directly,

“I don’t mean any disrespect, but I just had to stop for a second to say that your girlfriend is really adorable.”

Now, when you say this, make sure that you’re looking at him when you start but look her in the eyes the moment you deliver the compliment.

This frequently leads to him saying, ”She is not my girlfriend.”  From which you can start talking to the girl as we described above, however, don’t ignore him completely.

3. How To Approach A Girl That’s Walking

how to approach a girl that's walking

First, I’m going to start with what not to do, then follow up with what to openWhen you approach a girl that is walking:

If you are behind her then get at least 6 feet in front of her, then turn around and open to her, with something like: “Hey real quick…”

If she is walking towards you, then first let her pass, try to make eye contact, then repeat the previous steps.  It looks needy if you approach her right away before you can even see who she is. The best way to approach a girl here should be something like: “Hey this is totally random, but I just thought you looked absolutely… adorable.”

If she’s in a hurry, talk about it. “Hey I can tell you’re in a hurry, but I just had to meet you.”

Pretty simple.

4. How To Approach A Girl On Her Phone

You know, I’m not going to complain about people being on their phones too often. It’s honestly overdone.

Approaching while she’s busy can be advantageous simply because it’s high risk. Women love men who are bold and go for exactly what they want.

She’ll appreciate that. One thing that you always want to do is address the fact that what you’re doing is out of the social norm.

We’ll say something like this: “Hey, I know you’re on the phone, and it’s so rude to interrupt, but I had to risk it and tell you that you are absolutely beautiful.”

Don’t be worried if she ends up staying on the call and not pursuing you. She may be on an important call, so don’t overthink into it.

5. How To Approach A Girl At A Coffee Shop

Coffee shops are great places to approach women. You’ll find a lot of business-oriented chicks and hipsters, which makes this place amazing in my book.

We’ll open with something situational like this: “Hey, I can see that you’re studying/reading/working, but I just had to come over and say hi.”

Whatever she is doing, don’t be afraid to talk about it when you open. It’s just fluff, but it shows you’re interested in more than just her looks.

Girls are most likely seated here. Don’t just jump into a seat before you open. After you’ve talked to her for a moment, grab a seat while talking, but first give a time constraint. As you sit, say “I’ll sit down for a minute before I have to get back…”

Don’t force it. It should feel natural.

6. How To Approach A Girl At The Gym

I recommend that you open with something like “Hi, I don’t think we’ve met yet. My name is ____.

This opener implies that you are social and know people there. From there, just do the standard daytime approach we discussed earlier.

I shouldn’t have to say this, but do not stop her while she’s busy doing cardio or if she’s mid-rep. Wait until she is resting.

Night Game How To Approach a Girl at Bars & Clubs

Women get hit on at bars/clubs all the time. Distinguishing yourself here is the absolute key to success.

To stand out, demonstrate:

  • That you’re a high-status man,
  • You’re confident at socializing, and
  • You are a ton of fun to be with

I cannot emphasize enough how important being ‘fun’ isPeople go out on weekends to let off steam and to let loose after a hard week. The attention spans are short, and the sex-drives are high. Opening in a fun and high energy state usually works well.

How To Approach A Girl In A Bar

If there’s only one thing I could say about bars, I would say: You need to be social from the moment you enter. Even socialize beforehand if possible. This builds momentum and puts you into a social state.

Right when you walk into the bar, start talking. When you order a drink, banter with the bartender. The first girl you see, approach. A good opener in the bar is “Hi, I don’t think we’ve met yet. My name is ____.”

It’s simple and direct. From there you’ll want to banter and escalate.

For more bar openers, download The Conversation Cheat Sheet here.

You’ll be able to socialize all over the place in a bar, so don’t stick to the actual bar too much. There should be a lot of places to open new girls.

Try not to wander around too much. This is what the average guy does, and it makes you seem lost.

Sidenote: Do not offer drinks when you first meet a girl. It’s what a lot of guys do, and it makes you seem like you have an agenda, as if you’re trying to buy your way into her pants. Only buy her a drink after you’ve talked to her for a while. That’s actually pretty cool.

How To Approach A Girl In A Nightclub

how to approach a girl

Be very loud. In certain countries or cities, nightclubs can be extremely noisy. The vibe that you’re giving off if you’re quiet is either that you’re not having fun, or that you don’t have the confidence to speak up.

Do not wander around aimlessly in nightclubs. The majority of girls are going to be cycling through the bar, dance floor, bathroom on repeat.

That means you should be dancing, not standing on the dancefloor, to get maximum exposure to everyone in the venue.

When you’re on the dance floor, try to make eye contact with the girl you like. After you make eye contact, walk over and give her the “hand of god.” Fully extend your arm and reach out towards her, inviting her to dance. This is a bold move, so make sure you have a confident smile on your face when you do this.

When she takes your hand, spin her around, and start dancing with her. Make sure to introduce yourself at this point, but don’t have a long conversation while dancing.

After a song or two, invite her to get a drink with you. This will give you some time to talk and flirt with her. After you get drinks, take her someplace quieter so you two can continue talking.

Do not try to get her to come to your place early. This usually won’t work because she’s there to have fun. This is especially true before midnight.

Make sure to number/social media close early in the interaction because she could leave or wander off at any moment. This should become habitual on your part.

Approaching On The Street

Street game after 12-1am is another opportunity to meet women that want to go home with a guy.

Why is that? Women have had fun all night, so their chance to expand or extend their night by going home with you is extremely high. We refer to this as buying temperature.

It means that if they’ve had a great night, they are so hyped up that it’s easy to close. In fact, much easier than it would be at any other time during the week.

You can, and should, be very direct. If they are walking out of the venue, you have roughly 5-10 minutes to close.

A good opener would be: “You’re cute, and I want to talk to you.”  If you vibe exceptionally well after you open, you have to be quick about getting logistics.

Ask them:

  • What are you doing now?
  • Who are you here with?
  • How far away do you live?
  • What are you doing tomorrow?

Get through one if not all of these fast.

Final Thoughts

Master the art of approaching women, and you’ll see an abundance of women in your life. It takes time to master this skill, but keep at it.

Just remember, the game is a skillset, one that you can always improve. You should see it as an opportunity instead of an obstacle.

how to approach a girl

How To Approach A Girl For The First Time: 3 Types Of Openers

Unanimously, the number one question we get on Bootcamp is how to approach a girl for the first time, and specifically, “What do I say?”. This is one of the biggest hurdles for guys to get over first.

Guys think it has to be the PERFECT pickup line for it to work. Ready for the good news?

What you open with doesn’t matter as much as you think.

In all my years, not one single girl I’ve been with has ever said that it was my opener that won her over. That just from the first line she knew she was coming home with me. Treat the opener for what it’s worth — starting a conversation with a girl so you can begin the process of attracting her. This is the 80% of success Woody Allen is referring to.

The opener doesn’t matter. JUST GET IT DONE.

With that said, it does help to have at least a structure to your opening and have a few memorized lines so when the time comes to approach a beautiful girl; you don’t hesitate.

The 3 Types Of Openers Are: Indirect, Situational and Direct.


how to approach a girl

Indirect openers are low risk and low reward openers. These are the most comfortable openers to open with but are the hardest to transition into a real conversation.

The benefit of an indirect opener is that it doesn’t show any interest in the girl. What makes this good is when you show attention right off the bat, the girl has to decide if she wants to entertain the conversation based solely on the first 10 seconds.

Instead of being about the girl, these types of openers relate more to subjects most people would feel socially obligated to answer like, “Do you have the time? Do you know where Starbucks is?”. Everyone would feel compelled to respond. That is why indirect openers have a high success rate of opening.

The trouble with indirect openers is it’s tough to then transition to a real conversation. Going from, “do you have the time?”, to flirting can be clumsy.

Because indirect openers are low risk, we usually recommend them as the best way to approach a girl so you can warm up and build momentum.


  • Hi! Do you know what time it is?
  • Hey There! Do you know where the closest Starbucks is?
  • Do you know where XYZ is?


  • High success rate (most girls will stop)
  • Low pressure (easy to use)
  • Doesn’t show interest in the girl (delays her need to decide if you’re a yes or no)


  • Hard to transition into a regular conversation
  • Most girls know you’re interested in them (after all, why would you ask them and not the guy over there)


how to approach a girl

Situational Openers are medium risk and medium reward.

This opener relates to something relevant to the environment you’re in. You could notice something about her, comment on something that just happened, make an observation, etc.

Not too long ago I successfully opened (and dated) a beautiful girl from Bosnia that I met late night at the grocery store after work. I’m a big fan of Arnold Schwarzenegger (who is from Austria) and noticed she was wearing a hat that said Vienna on it (capital of Austria). While she was in line, I opened her with, “Hey I like your hat! Are you from Austria?”

It turns out she was recently vacationing there with her family. That brought up the topic of travel, and we shared a few travel stories.  One thing led to another, I got her number, brought her on a date and the rest is history.

Like indirect openers, the goal of the situational opener is to start a conversation without showing interest in the girl (not yet anyway). If what you’re about to say isn’t something you would say to a girl you’re not interested in then don’t say it. By definition, you’ll be communicating interest.

The advantage situation openers have over going indirect is it’s way easier to transition into a regular conversation.

With the girl from the grocery store, it was easy to jump right into the topic of travel. If I asked for the time, it would be a bit more difficult and awkward.

The drawback of this opener is you need something to comment on. Not every girl is wearing a Vienna hat where you’re a favorite bodybuilder is from. Because of this, there may not be an opportunity to use a situational opener on the girl you want.


  • [In a clothing store] “Do you think they have my size?” (holding something ridiculous or female clothing)
  • [At the bar] “That’s my dance instructor” (pointing to a wrong dancer)
  • In general, for these types of openers try to make it either witty, amusing or what’s on your mind IN THAT MOMENT (gives the spontaneity aspect)


  • Easy to transition into a conversation with the girl
  • Doesn’t show interest in the girl (delays her need to decide if you’re a yes or no)


  • Requires something situational to comment on.
  • Can be hard to think of a situational comment at the moment.


how to approach a girl

Finally, we arrive to direct openers (my personal favorite).

These are high risk but high reward. High risk, because you’re putting yourself on the line. High reward, because when they work, you’ve already built a bit of attraction with a girl based on sheer confidence.

With direct openers, you’re walking up to a girl and necessarily saying I am interested in you.

There’s no beating around the bush.

It shows her you have tremendous confidence and you’re the type of person that goes for what he wants.

On the flip side, because this opener shows your interested, she now has to decide with just a 10-second sample of you, if she’s interested in entertaining a conversation with you or not. Because of this, it’s essential that you have everything on point from the way you dress, carry yourself and how you say the opener.

When using direct openers, your non-verbal communication has to be strong.

The great thing is, women will at least give you credit for having the confidence to approach directly. As everyone knows, confidence is the number one thing every girl looks for.

If this approach is successful, you can move straight into a normal conversation.

As a side note, direct openers are especially useful when a woman is by herself which makes them perfect for day game approaches.


  • You’re the woman here I most want to meet
  • TAM’s stock opener: “Hey, real quick. This is completely random, but I just saw you and thought you look really nice and at least had to say hello.
  • In addition to that, I also like to add in what it was that sparked my interest. This makes it real and genuine. Some girls I’ve said what I noticed about you are your long tan legs. Others I’ve told, “You have the most incredible eyes.”


  • Easy to transition into a conversation with the girl
  • When it works, immediately spikes attraction
  • If she’s taken, she’ll let you know right away, so you don’t waste time


  • Goes for broke. Either works or doesn’t
  • It takes the most courage out of all three openers


Before I leave you, here are some parting tips for how to approach a girl for the first time:

  • Don’t underestimate the importance of “warm-up sets.” Until this day, I always count my first three approaches as throwaways and do them as quickly as possible to build momentum
  • Don’t take “rejection” seriously. She’s only making a decision based off a few seconds of knowing you. If ten people randomly came up to you asking for your number would you give your number to all 10? If not, don’t expect the girl too.
  • Embrace the approaches. At the end of the day, you’re bringing value into people’s lives. A good analogy I like to use is giving a homeless person $100 bucks. If you tried to give a homeless person $100 and they turned it down would you feel rejected? Of course not! You were trying to bring value to his life, and he denied it. Shame on him. You should have the same outlook on women. I’m trying to bring value into this girl’s life, and she rejected it. Shame on her.
  • Make it fun by creating incentives. Give someone $10 bucks in singles. Every time you make an approach they give you back $1. It works well because no matter the outcome, you perceive the approach as a “success” because you get another dollar back.

Your Weekend Mission (If you choose to accept)

Beginners: Use one opener (Prepare in advance)

Advanced: Use all three openers (Prepare in advance)

Alright, guys, there’s the tip of the week!

Be sure to go out there and start implementing it RIGHT AWAY. Success loves the speed of implementation.

If you like tips like these, then I would highly recommend you check out The Language of Attraction or attend a BOOTCAMP.

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Other “gurus” will try to mold you to be exactly like them…. They’ll have you dress like them and act like them even if that’s not who you really are.

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Here are a few things we’ll cover:

  • Discover a POWERFUL way to approach, attract, number close, and get dates during the day!
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  • Get Tons of infield practice, real-life drills, role-playing, and instant feedback on your interactions to make approaching women completely second nature!

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