So, you really have no idea how to get a girl to like you by talking, and this is the situation: You’re talking to a woman you really like, things are going well, but then you completely run out of things to say.
The conversation falls flat. Cue the painfully awkward silence.
You’re standing there holding your drink like a dumbass. Meanwhile, she walks off and starts laughing at some other guy’s jokes.
HOW TO GET A GIRL TO LIKE YOU
4 Best Tips for Successful Conversations
When I was younger this happened to me all the time. To be honest, I had no idea what to say to women so as soon as started talking to one -especially if I happened to like her or if she was really hot – I ended up desperately trying to say anything so that she’d keep talking to me. But then I fixed all that.
I’m going to show you how to never make this mistake, and exactly how to get a girl to like you by talking to her naturally. For me, never running out of things to say with women comes down to 4 main things… They also all have one single principle at their core. You’ll understand how to get a girl to like you NOT because you’re an amazing conversationalist, but because of who you are (and bonus, you don’t have to pretend to be someone else or change who you really are!)
So take good note of these tips. Lets start off with:
#4 HOW TO GET A GIRL TO LIKE YOU
Bad Conversations Aren’t Always Your Fault
It doesn’t matter if you’re Robert Downey Jr… Beacause IF she’s boring and has terrible conversation skills? Your conversation is going to implode no matter how hot you think she is.
And it’s not your fault.
However.. chasing this kind of girl is. The longer you chase women who have awful conversation skills, the longer you’re going to struggle with conversations that go nowhere.
I used to do this a ton, and all it did was make me needy. The hotter she was, the more I thought I “had” to get her… Even though I wasn’t even interested in her. This slowly eroded my self-confidence, because every time I chased her rather than a girl who is actually interested me.
I was telling myself deep down that what I thought (and felt) didn’t matter, all that mattered was how hot she was. In other words, I was putting myself second… And her way up on a pedestal. It was a huge mistake I admit. And back then, I never understood how to get a girl to like you by talking. At least most of my conversations sucked big time.
Remembering not to do this is important because it’s the simplest fix you can find to understand how to get a girl to like you and to never run out of things to say. But oftentimes, guys NEVER think of it. We’re so busy trying to figure out how to “get her” that we never stop and realize that a conversation requires two people making an effort to work.
So ask yourself: why are you wasting time chasing a woman you don’t even enjoy talking to? Who doesn’t offer anything interesting other than nice boobs? Is it because you’re genuinely interested in her – or is it because you think bagging her will make you feel better about yourself?
Spoiler: it won’t. But putting yourself first will.
#3 HOW TO GET A GIRL TO LIKE YOU
Stop Worrying About Being Likeable
There’s a quote that goes something like “I used to be nice, but when I got mean, I lost my virginity.” Now what does that have to do with how to get a girl to like you by talking? Well..
The biggest enemy you’ll face when it comes to having things to say to her is trying to make sure she likes you. This causes one very big problem: Your internal filter setting gets dialed up to 11 and you become super critical of everything you want to say… So you end up saying nothing at all.
Cue awkward silence AGAIN in 3…2…1….
Not only this, but whatever you DO end up saying becomes tailored for HER instead of YOU. So not only do you say next to nothing but what you do end up saying is a bunch of brown-nosing.
I fell into this trap big time. I would figure out what women liked and try and thread it into the conversation so they’d go “oh me too” and fall in love me with. It was that or make her laugh. Guess what? She thought I was okay… But not a lot more.
When I finally got sick of being a suck-up and started disagreeing with her… It became a hell of a lot easier to build chemistry. Instead of trying to make her like me, I became more concerned about whether I liked her.
I cannot stress how much of a difference this makes. Next time you think “I’ll say this and she’ll like me”… STOP.
You’re being a suck-up dude. Cut it out.
You deserve more than putting yourself second.
#2 HOW TO GET A GIRL TO LIKE YOU
Have Strong Opinions
A long time ago I saw a guy passionately rant about how every child had to be raised by a father, and couldn’t be raised by two mothers.
His audience? A married lesbian couple. I winced and thought this was going to blow up into a huge argument…
But… It didn’t. Far from being enraged, they were actually hanging off his every word, even though they obviously didn’t agree.
Another time I saw a guy in an English class explode into a rant about how Shakespeare sucked. Most people didn’t agree, but everyone listened. His opinion was so passionate and contrary to everything they’d heard before that they wanted to listen.
It was from examples like this that I realized how powerful strong opinions are. And this is 10x more important in dating. Agreeing with everything she says might seem like a good way to make her like you, but all it does is create a boring sense of normalcy where she feels nothing at all for you.
Because conflict and passion make you, her, and everyone else feel something. And it’s the exact reason everyone was listening to those two ranting guys I mentioned earlier.
If you disagree with her or have a contrary opinion on something – say it. If you feel it, if you believe it, even if you think it’ll make her never ever want to hook up with you. Just say it. Why wouldn’t you? Is your opinion not worth saying?
Or do you believe your perspective matters?
It does. And there are girls out there that want to hear it.
#1 HOW TO GET A GIRL TO LIKE YOU
Don’t Be Afraid Of Silence
Have you ever been in a conversation that died and you were both sorta sitting there with nothing to say? What did you do? Did you say nothing? Or did you start rabbiting out words at 1000 miles an hour? Doesn’t really help, does it? And you’re left just kinda feeling childish and looking unconfident and insecure.
I know because this was me. HATED silence. Thought it somehow reflected on me, that it meant the other person was bored with me, I was lame, or they just wanted me to shut the hell up.
Little did I know that wasn’t the proper mentality to master how to get a girl to like you by talking to them naturally..
Here’s the truth: sometimes, no matter how charismatic you are, the conversation is going to go silent. This happens to everyone from James Bond to Craig Fergusson and you’re no exception.
But most importantly: why do you feel you have to fill silences? Why are you so afraid of them? What do you think they say about you?
It’s not the 11th commandment that you have to fill this silence. And to be honest, you shouldn’t.
Silence can build sexual tension, or you can both laugh at the silence… Or you can even go in for the kiss.
Silence is your friend. You don’t need to start motor-boating out words at a thousand miles an hour just to fill the pauses.
FINAL TIP: You need to put yourself first.
Those are the 4 ways to never run out of things to say, and you may have noticed something… Its not all about how to get a girl to like you by talking, AND —
They all have one thing in common. If you want to never run out things to say with her… You need to put yourself first.
If you think her looks are more important than how much you genuinely enjoy her conversation… Your conversations will slowly grow dull and die. If you think her liking you is more important than saying what you feel… Your conversations will become bland and die. If you think your opinions aren’t worth hearing… Your conversations will become uninteresting and die. If you think silence reveals how much you suck… Your conversations will become awkward, embarrassing, and die.
In other words, if you put YOURSELF second… Your conversations will always come second as well.