I’ve been helping men transform their dating lives for over 16 years so If you’re struggling to make things sexual and turn women on, you’re going to find this incredibly valuable.
First things first, let’s take a moment to understand the concept of sexual tension.
In a nutshell, sexual tension is the feeling of anticipation and unpredictability that things could escalate into sex.
This emotional state is triggered in our bodies when you know that sex may happen, but it’s still not for sure—no one has explicitly said it.
When you feel sexual tension…
You feel just the right mix of vulnerable and uncomfortable in a way that’s arousing, which is the perfect build-up to make things get hot and heavy.
And it’s the intensity behind this build-up that creates turn-on and arousal.
So when you hear people use the phrase “butterflies in my tummy” or feeling “weak in the knees,” they’re usually referring to sexual tension.
Because sexual tension is pleasurable, women love to experience it.
And as a man, it’s your job to lead and spark sexual tension in the interaction.
Sadly, most men shy away from doing so because they’re too scared they’ll come off as weird or creepy.
On the surface, this makes sense, because you’re avoiding putting the girl into a (potentially) awkward situation where she might reject you.
Being overtly sexual can make women feel uncomfortable if it’s done in a way they can’t relate to, or if it’s out of context.
For example, asking a girl you just met seconds ago about her darkest fantasies will probably make her feel super uncomfortable.
But on the flip side, if there’s already some mild flirtation and good vibes being exchanged (aka context) in your interaction…
And you don’t escalate things into a more sexual and intimate direction…
YOU WILL PROBABLY GET FRIENDZONED.
Now, fortunately, you don’t need to verbally tell a girl you want to f*ck her to create sexual tension.
If anything, that would not only kill the mystery and anticipation that’s been brewing…
But it would also sound super abrupt and overwhelm her.
So you don’t want to do that.
Instead, you want to show your intentions more subtly… smoothly… with some more finesse…
And the way you do this is with your non-verbal communication. Your eye contact and energy.
You with me so far? Great.
Now, as we discussed earlier…
Despite knowing how important sexual tension is to make things intimate…
Most men are simply too terrified to risk expressing any sexual interest in a woman.
And maybe you are too.
But I can tell you from my 15 years of experience as a dating coach that the feeling of being desired by you as a man is extremely intoxicating to women (if done the right way).
And that’s why the few guys that grow a pair and do it (again, the right way) will open up the gates for sex to happen.
Now that we know girls cannot feel turned on without sexual tension, let’s talk about…
How To Actually Spark Sexual Tension
Listen to me very carefully, because this is very nuanced stuff.
See, when you’re talking to a girl you want to hook up with…
Don’t just sit there and think she’s attractive.
Instead, you want to feel your desire for her running through your body. Experience it.
Desire is a contagious feeling.
If you feel that carnal feeling of lust for her running through your body, she’ll feel it off you, too.
And no, this isn’t some absurd woo-woo bs.
This is a real concept called Mirror Neurons (also known as Emotional Contagion), which has been proven to work by neuroscience.
Remember, man, women are emotional beings.
Girls will act on their emotions and then give reasons later to justify their actions.
So if she doesn’t feel this emotional charge of desire from you…
There’s no reason for her to go home with you, even if you were funny, charming, had a lot in common with her, or even good-looking.
She has to “feel” this turn-on from your energy to make the decision to go home with you (emphasis on “feel”).
And the way you create this turn-on in your body is by allowing yourself to feel what it could be like to rip her clothes off, throw her on your bed, bend her over, and pound her brains out…
All without any self-judgment or shaming and with 100% conviction.
When you do this the right way, you’ll start to feel turned on and then project this sexual energy through your body.
You’ll feel your voice get more seductive…
You’ll position yourself in closer proximity to her…
And your gaze gets a lot more penetrative and directed.
Think of the way James Bond looks and talks to women. (show example)
See what I mean?
And because of emotional contagion…
She’ll pick up on these cues subconsciously, which will cause the arousal mechanisms in her nervous system to kick in, slowly turning her on.
Now, if this concept is new to you…
It may be a little hard at first to feel your turn-on due to several reasons (nice-guy syndrome, low confidence, lack of experience, emotional blockages, etc.).
So, it could take some practice and guidance to navigate through the layers of inner resistance that are holding you back.
But once you have this down…
You can talk about the most platonic things on the surface…
And still turn her on because the subtext or underlying theme of the interaction is sexual.
Look, man, seduction is an emotional process…
So you want to be aware of the emotions your girl is experiencing around you, especially sexual tension.
The way to do this is by following the process I just laid out for you.
So if you have any dates planned for this weekend, give it a little test-drive and see how things pan out.
If you want to go deeper and learn how to release sexual shame, build confidence, and master sexual tension, check out our mentorship program(click the banner below) or join one of our live workshops where you practice in person with trained models.
