How to Get Your Ex Back This 2021

Matt: Today, we’re going to answer the question – How to get your ex back this 2021. What should you do first?

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Josiah: Let’s imagine that you actually made the mistake yourself, say you got drunk at the bar, you cheated on your girlfriend, she found out, she’s super pissed off. She left. What’s the best advice you would give to get her back, assuming that you made one (kind of) major mistake?

Matt: I think either way, you’re going to need some space, whether that is infinite space and the relationship never gets back together. I’m sorry. That could be a reality. And if that’s the best for her, if she found somebody better or she just doesn’t want to be with you anymore, if you love her, like Brian said, you got to let her go.

Want to know how to get your ex back? Come to terms first with this – She might come back to you. She might not. But either way, she needs some space. If you caused the breakup to happen, then you need to come to terms with what you did.

Don’t keep pushing her away by saying, “I need you, I need you. I’m nothing without you!!” And put her as your purpose. Because that’s just going to push her away even more. Apologize.

If you did some stuff you shouldn’t have done, then you got to be a man, come to terms with it and say, “I’m sorry. And I understand if you don’t want to be back with me because I did something that I shouldn’t have done, I want you to come back to me and I hope you come back to me. But I understand you got to go on your own journey. And if you don’t want that, I’ll be sad. But eventually I’ll move on.

Brian: I had this guy from the airport and he had done that to his girlfriend. And he was coming from Canada. And he flew all the way to Atlanta and he was stalker-ish, he was trying to get her back. And all her friends were like, “What is going on?” She blocked off everybody. He was trying to contact her friends. It was the creepiest thing you’ve ever seen.

And I felt so bad for him. He’s like, “I’m going to come back.” And I was like, “You probably shouldn’t, Bruh.”

Matt: She just needs to process it, too. If you did something like cheated on her, or whatever, she needs some time to just, like, sit in that, deal with it, figure it out, hopefully miss you. But if you’re clinging to her and you’re flying to another place and chasing her too much, it’s just going to push her away.

Right? We we run from things that chase us.

Jules: How to get your ex back? Don’t emulate Hollywood movies.

Josiah: Oh, yeah. That’s so true.

Jules: Don’t don’t do that.

Josiah: 99% garbage.

Jules: The good news is that if you did cheat on your girlfriend, women are more concerned with emotional connection. They can get over physical cheating a lot easier. Whereas as men, we’re the opposite.

We’re not as concerned with the emotional connection as we are another guy invading our, I guess, our place of worship, a woman – I mean, our girlfriend’s body is like our temple. Right?

So that’s kind of like we feel like our our territory has been infiltrated and their territories are hurt. We have an emotional connection with another person.. That really disturbs women a lot more than the physical cheating.

Yeah, give her space. Definitely true. This by the way works for some women, not all – But it’s more common.

Josiah: The few times I’ve attempted and/or wanted to do this, I would say the most important things is try to get her to an emotional state where she remembers the good times. Because in the the natural progression of relationship – You have infatuation, you have intensity, and then you have intimacy.

And those three things, she needs to remember what sparked her in the first place. So you need to focus on the infatuation. Go back to you having fun or just doing fun things like if you’re going to ask her out. “Hey, I was going to go do X” and make it something that you guys did together at one point, Get her to remember the things that were good before then.

Matt: Instead of what most guys do when trying to learn how to get your ex back, which is “We need to talk.. Can we please talk?!” Or write for this serious letter. I just had a client that did this, wrote her a handwritten letter, put it in the mail.


Josiah: I just want to say though, we’re not the only ones guilty of this, because I knew. I have a personal girlfriend who was dating this guy. She was American. She was dating a guy who lives in Amsterdam. He broke up with her after two years of a long distance relationship.

She literally flies to Amsterdam on a whim, the guy doesn’t know anything about it. She shows up at his place, turns out he had two kids and an entire family, for two full years.

And she.. I mean, obviously not her fault, but when he ended it, it should have been over. Right?

Jules: The more painful the breakup, the bigger of a gift it is in the long run. Now, I know if you’re going through a breakup right now, you might not want to hear that. But somebody is going to tell you that if it’s not us.

Coming out the other side of that is more self-love, more understanding and more of the knowing of what you want. And as long as you’re doing the work and you’re growing and you’re taking responsibility, you’re always going to get a better woman.

Yes, there’s always a more connected relationship. There’s always a deeper love. Don’t always focus on how to get your ex back. Instead, focus on you!

Josiah: I always used all of my breakups or even like girls I was seeing that disappeared or for some reason things didn’t work out. I always saw that as a catalyst to go out and get better at whatever I was doing, either hit the gym, or go work on more pavement skills, whatever it was like, go out and do something. And it was always a major motivator for me.

Matt: Let it motivate you. Instead of making it hold you down.

Brian: That I always, I guess, pre-frame with my relationships is that “You will not be bigger than my purpose, ever.” I will always choose like to be a life coach and help men in this aspect. And there have there have been women that that will challenge that and they will do some very crazy shenanigans that you’re just like, “Wow, I need to get and block this chick.”

And then there have been times where, I’ve had to choose my purpose over someone that I truly love and it’s always been better because something really beautiful actually comes out of it.

Matt: If you made your woman your purpose, your mission, and then you lost her, your whole life is devastated. You lost your life’s purpose. That’s why you never can make your woman your purpose. You have to have your purpose and then your woman who supports your purpose. And if you lose her, you still have your purpose, your main goal or mission in life.

David: And especially don’t try to force one or the other. These things should come naturally. Purpose should be something you love to do, that you want to do. And the girl that you want to be with should be someone you want to be with, and that’s it.

Don’t try to force both – just because you think that being a man means “Having a girlfriend and having a purpose.” just try to find them organically, naturally by just trying things. Overthinking how to get your ex back, you’ll never do it naturally.

Jules: Yeah. And if she’s trying to change you, or if she was, she ain’t the one. She should resonate with your purpose. One hundred percent. If not, you’ve got to end it. Don’t ever think of how to get your ex back if that happens, man.

Josiah: And she’s trying to change you, don’t ever change. Because the reason she’s attracted to you is probably because she’s a “fixer” and she likes that problem to work on. That’s why I’m always me, man! *chuckles* “If you don’t like that, then why are you still here?!”

Matt: She might challenge you on your purpose. Maybe that’s the form of fixing. But it’s because.. She wants to she wants to feel like you’re, you know –

David: – On purpose. How would you test if someone is on purpose? You shake him. Resistance is what helps you to balance things all the time.

Jules: That’s another another mode that Isee friends and students talk about is like, “Oh, she was always such a b—-!” And I’m like, no, no, you just don’t understand this. She was testing you and you failed.

The testing, like I said earlier, never ends. A woman will test you till the day you die if she loves you. And it’s a beautiful thing because each test you overcome, you get stronger and stronger. And that’s how the masculine and the feminine grow together. Men grow through challenge, women grow through praise.

Matt: And that might be the reason you lost her. She tested you and you failed too many times. And eventually she needs a man. So this breakup is an opportunity for you to work on you.


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The BEST Way To Recover FAST From A Rejection (w/ Dr. Robert Glover)

Dr. Robert Glover explains the best way to recover fast from a rejection with just ONE easy step!

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Matt: What are your thoughts on handling rejection? What’s your best way to recover fast from a rejection?

I’ve heard you speak of this before in other podcasts. Nice guys tend to not even talk to girls because they don’t want to get rejected. And maybe it’s even beyond nice guys, just people in general. I mean, nobody likes getting rejected when it comes to dating or whether it comes to going for anything. But of course, it’s necessary. I mean, you know to get anything in life.

Robert: You have to take risks.

Matt: You have to go for it. You’re not going to get everything that you go for, but you learn from it. You try again. What are your thoughts when it comes to women and dating?

Robert: Yeah, I like the question. When I started dating, I’m like everybody else. I don’t want to get rejected.

But when I started what I call “conscious dating”, it was such a powerful personal growth machine for me. And one of the things I quickly learned is
that basically that rejection does not exist in the way that we usually think of it.

To take it to the next step in how we typically think of it, rejection doesn’t hurt. Now, we think it does. But and so I break this down for men, because every time I say this to a guy, you know, guys are ready to fight me. “No, of course, rejection hurts. It hurts like hell.” And I even early on in my dating programs, wouldn’t let the guys use the “R” word. And that’s one reason why I’ve even reframed it in all of my teaching and writing as to “low interest”, I never use the word rejection other than talking about it.

Its what our brain does with somebody with perceived low interest interacting with us, because that’s all it is. People either have a high interest in interacting with us or they don’t.

So what we do with that, if something about that matches an internalized self belief that I have, that I’m not good enough, I’m unlovable. People can see that. I better be going back to what we talked about from the very beginning. If people find out that I’m not good enough, that’s going to hurt because it does hurt to not feel good enough. Right? But every belief we have that we’re not good enough that is actually an inaccurately internalized belief based on life experiences that had nothing to do with us.

Children and babies are narcissistic by nature, every painful experience we have, we believe that’s because of us. Where there’s something wrong with us. That’s why this painful thing is happening, its not accurate. But we all do it.

Now, when we get out there and we get in the dating world and we get attached to outcome, which Buddha says is the cause of all suffering, I also say it’s the cause of all anxiety and the cause of all non-action. What’s the best way to recover fast from a rejection? Let go of the attachment to outcome.

As you mentioned, if we don’t want to get rejected, we don’t do anything. So if I have an anxiety that if I talk to this woman, there’s going to be a negative outcome to it, that’s going to drive up my anxiety and probably make me do nothing or whatever I do, I’ll do it and I’ll probably bumble my way through it. I’ll do it really awkwardly.

So this anxiety, this fear of getting rejected works against us.

I have examples I use to try to help guys overcome this idea that rejection hurts.


Robert: One of the best ways to recover fast from a rejection, or actually – remove your fear of rejection.. I get that from doing a workshop. I’ll get the guys all to stand up and they all pair up and I give them an assignment and I say “You guys decide who’s partner A, who’s partner B”

And I said, time, you guys, and for two minutes, partner A is going to keep repeating to partner B over and over again “I want I want to be happy and I want a new car. I want a big dick. I want a beautiful girlfriend, I want world peace, or whatever it is they want in life.” And partner B, has to keep saying “no” to them over and over and over again. Everything they say they want, they’ve got to say no.

They do that for two minutes and then I switch them and then they just trade roles with each other. Now, after they’ve each done this for two minutes and I’m calling time, it’s time to stop now.

They’re laughing and they’re carrying on and they’re having a good time. Now, there’s a lot of applications I make of this whole assignment, but one of them is I’ll say, “OK, you guys seem to really enjoy that.” and they say “Oh, yeah, that was fun.”

And I go, “You guys just spent two straight minutes getting constantly rejected. Constantly. You got told no to everything you wanted for two minutes, thats rejection.” I go, “But you were laughing, you were enjoying, you were having fun. It didn’t hurt you. Look, everyone still in one piece”

Then I’ll ask them: “What is the difference? You know, but you’re afraid of a woman telling you. What’s the difference?”

The only difference is context and internalized belief. Context is, “Oh, I don’t want to get rejected by this woman because I want a girlfriend and I want to get laid and I want her. She’s pretty.” That’s the context, and the self limiting belief is “If she doesn’t want me, I’m worthless and every other woman is going to see me in the same
way”. The “NO” is not what hurts. Its the story we make up about the “no” and story is all context.

There was no story in that little interaction in the group. And that’s why there’s no pain. So it’s not the rejection that hurts, it’s the story. We’ve got to start learning to watch our stories.



Robert: Another best way to recover fast from a rejection – there’s this thing I’ll do with guys. I’ll suggest they go out with a buddy and go out in the night and try to get three to five rejections in a night. But don’t be rude. Don’t go up and piss a woman off, just approach a woman with your phone out and say, “Hey, you know, I’m Robert. I saw you standing here. Can I get your number because I’m going to call you up later this week and I’m going to take you out for coffee.”

Just do something that requires a yes or no answer from them in a bold way. And you do that and your goal is to get rejected. Your goal is to get five of those in one night. Get five women to tell you no to your request to get a number.

Now, it’s still scary to go do that. Especially for the first time. There’s a lot of anxiety. And so you go do it and and maybe get a no or maybe you get a nice conversation
out of it. And then you’re kind of excited. So you go do it again. Next, you’re already doing a happy dance after each rejection because (1) you faced your fear, and (2) you took away this thing – “I don’t want to get rejected.” So there’s no anxiety in going to get rejected.

If you succeed, great. If you don’t succeed, even better, you have a nice conversation or get a phone number. I’ve gone out in nights trying to get five rejections and I couldn’t get five women to reject me. I even picked the women I saw were least likely to give me a phone number and I got their numbers.

Why is that? Well, part of the reason for that is if you’re not giving a F about being rejected, you’re going to be bold. And boldness and confidence is the number one aphrodisiac for women. And if nothing else, you have some interesting conversations you never would have had if you were so afraid of getting rejected that you never approached.

Matt: Yeah we do a very similar exercise on our advanced bootcamps.

Robert: It’s powerful, right?

Matt: Yeah, they give us one hundred bucks in tens or twenties, and every time they get rejected, they get some of their money back. They love it and end up loving rejection. And they have the same kind of epiphanies like – “Wow, it’s really hard to get rejected”

Robert: And it didn’t hurt. And I have found that men that will go out and do that, it blasts away their fear of rejection forever. Then you can talk with anybody because you’ve already gotten over the story. You’ve quit telling yourself the story.

So those those are the two most powerful ways. I got some other illustrations on the best way to recover fast from a rejection too, but those are the two that work best.


Robert: It’s the story. We got to get past the story we tell ourselves.

Matt: Yeah. It’s like they’re just taking it personally. And when, really the story is.. She’s in a hurry or the story is she has a boyfriend, she’s happy in her relationship and her boyfriend is right across the street.

Robert: Could be. yeah.

Matt: That’s the story. But we tell ourselves another story. “I’m not good enough.” “I’m a piece of crap.” “A woman like that would never like me.” And if we only knew, you know, but every time we’re going to put a story on it anyway, might as well put a story that serves us.

Robert: Yeah. And why not avoid stories altogether? Because even the story of “she’s hot,” for example, “she must be great in bed” or “she’s hot”. Just go talk to people, talk to everybody. And if somebody you’re talking to really is interesting and you think, “yeah, and I like how they look” these things about them and they seem to like those things about you then go with that, man. Go with it.

But now our stories don’t serve us. All they do is cause us a lot of pain. So learn to let go of any story that you’re not even sure is true. That’s why we always tell guys “Do NOT overthink.” Having a story for each interaction in your head is one example of that.


Does Pickup Advice Work This 2021? (w/ Dr. Robert Glover)

Matt: Does Pickup Advice work this 2021? We’re joined by Dr. Robert Glover and he’s going to drop a ton of knowledge on you today, including whether pickup advice is good or bad, whether it actually hurts you or harms you. Whether it can really get you a hot girlfriend or not.

And should you use that old cliche, “fake it till you make it”?

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Matt: We’re going to even talk about why you shouldn’t date a hot woman. Sounds pretty crazy if you ask me, but let’s dive right in.

Josiah: Hey, Robert, I’d like to backtrack to something you said a minute ago, and I really love your term “geeks with techniques.” So when you got out and exited your second marriage and you’re starting to date again, tell us your journey – because for me personally, it was like I found the seduction community and I basically I’m pro “fake it till you make it,” because that’s the path that I took.

Now, had I had other options that might have been I might have done something different. But at the time, that’s all I had. So how is it for you and what’s your thoughts on fake it till you make it?

Robert: Yeah, OK, there’s about four questions there. Let me see if I can kind of parse them apart. You know, there’s no right way to do this. There’s really not. Now, my book, Dating Essentials for Men, I call it the “UN-Pickup Guide to Dating Success.” and I have mixed feelings about traditional pick up.

When I became single, that was when pick up was just really beginning to explode. So, you know, like everybody else, I read the game, you know, got all of David D’Angelo’s dating stuff. What happened is all my clients that I was working with in my private practice, they started giving me stuff, books, DVDs.

I was really kind of before, like, YouTube was so big, but there’s a lot of resources out there. I read the game and listened to some podcast interviews and and then end up getting interviewed by David D’Angelo and ended up getting interviewed by a lot of the people that I listen to. There’s a lot of good information out
there, a lot of good psychological information that works in terms of interaction with the opposite sex.

And my issue with pickup is in the way that it is taught. Now, here’s here’s one thing I’ve also noticed about pickups. I’ve been able to watch it for twenty years.

Most pickup artists evolve over time and kind of get to where like, you know, it really is about being authentic and, you know, and the relationship aspect of it. Even Neil Strauss wrote the Bible of Pickup to then write another book that still looks like a Bible called The Truth and it was all about finding the right relationship. Most of the guys were teaching pick up when I first got single have evolved more into a social dynamic aspect of things – how to be authentic, how to be real, how to move your energy, how to be grounded, how to be embodied, how to set the tone and lead.. All things that I think are really positive.

The parts of that that I don’t like about pickup is that I believe fundamentally where much of his time, I think is demeaning to both men and women.

It often is based around teaching men, “OK, you know, here’s how you get the hottest women out there.” And, you know, I’ve never heard one pickup artist say, “What is the benefit of getting the hottest woman out there?” It’s like we just assume we all know what the benefit of that is.

But there must be some benefit. So what is that benefit? In my mind is primarily egoic, its the man going, “Look at me, I’m not such a loser! I got a hot woman. All the guys are going to think I’m great!” And we think it’s going to lead to amazing sex, we think because that’s male logic. If she’s hot, she must be great in bed. In my personal experience and I’ve talked with a lot of guys, I’ve talked to a lot of women. Often the hottest women have been the most abused. Plus they’ve never had to show up in any way. They’re usually the least accountable, the most entitled and the worst in bed.

Because guys, we’re physical, we’re visual. We want that hot woman. And it’ll make me feel like I’m OK. I think it’s demeaning to us and demeaning to them. It breaks most women down to just accumulation of body parts, you know, the ones with the best genetic inheritance?

All right. That’s the one I got to get because then it teaches how to pick up the most attractive woman in the room and go walk up and talk to her. I think that’s fundamentally invasive. The approach I teach is that if you’re just in a space being yourself and you notice the feminine noticing you. Go talk, go approach, go do something, But just approaching a woman because you like her ass or you like her tits, I tell men I think it’s the worst possible reason to approach a woman.


You know nothing about her. Guys who say, “Well, but she looks nice.” No, don’t stop lying to yourself. You like her tits, you like her ass. You think those tits will make your life better in some way. That’s really what it is. And it keeps us in a really almost seven year old view of women.

“Oh, they have nice tits. They’re going to make my life better.” I don’t think there’s a God damn thingwrong with those being physically attracted to women. Like, physically attracted to their body parts. I don’t preach against it, but using that as our basis for deciding who we talk to and don’t talk to or who we want to go out with or don’t want to go out with is the worst.

I’ve been doing relationship counseling for over 30 years. I just think it’s the worst possible foundation to build anything long term with. And as I said, contrary to guy logic, it’s also usually the worst possible way to have a good time in bed.

I rather we only go back to helping men be their authentic selves, learning to soothe their anxiety, learn how to get out of their comfort zones, learning to challenge themselves, learning to walk through the open doors that present themselves. If you’re standing next to a woman in line at Starbucks and you just start a conversation
and there’s a mutual interest there. Yeah, get a phone number.

If you’re somewhere at a party with a group of friends, you notice a woman’s looked at you a couple of times, walk across the room and talk to her, but just don’t be invasive because you like a woman’s tits. There’s a reason why hashtag MeToo was so prominent. Women have been invaded by men all of their lives. And so I don’t want to perpetuate that.

BUT I do want to teach men how to walk through every open door of opportunity. And that’s why I’ll bring it back to what my experience was. That’s what amazed me. As I said, I didn’t and I couldn’t believe what planet I had landed on. Women were propositioning me.. They were giving me phone numbers. They were getting naked on first and second dates. And I’m going, what’s happening here? I didn’t realize it worked like this.

It’s not because I was practicing pickup. It’s not because I sitting on the most attractive women in the room. It’s not because I was the youngest, best looking, richest guy in the room. Its because I had a sense of self.

You guys began by asking how old I am. I’m sixty four. My wife is twenty two years younger than me. We’re coming up on four years of marriage and she’s a fairly typical Latina in that she she has that Latina jealousy. And she’s actually is good at noticing women noticing me, women walking in front of me, women bending over, kind of pointing their butt at me, or giving a little cleavage, women touching my shoulder as they walk by.

She’s highly sensitive to that and lets me know it. That even at sixty four, I still draw that kind of energetic attention without me trying. I actually I know how to attract and engage with women. I keep it toned down because I’m married. I don’t want the attention or energy and it still keeps coming to me.

I’m a big believer that we don’t have to learn some some poll question or clever pick up line and walk across the room and find the hottest woman and try to, get her phone number and go, “Yey! I got a number.”

You know, she never calls you back and you ever see her naked, but you got her. No, I never had to resort to that. And again, it wasn’t because I was the best looking guy in the room. There are more effective ways to draw the higher quality women into your life than than using the tricks that pickup teaches.

BUT.. a piece that I do like about pickup is it gets men out of their comfort zone and it gives them gives them a tribe. They find a group of men and they go out together and they go get out of their comfort zone and do the things that scare them.

I’m actually a really big fan of that process, both of getting a tribe, connecting with men and getting out of your comfort zone. I do like that dynamic that that typically occurs in a dating boot camp or something like that.

Matt: Yeah, I think part of the problem, too, is they’re still nice guys and pick up just give them some lines and some things to do or say to look cool and sound cool. But underneath it all, they’re still nice guys. They still have all these issues and baggage and trauma’s that they haven’t dealt with yet, so it’s just a bandaid over the real problem and eventually, usually sooner rather than later,the woman figures it out. “He’s really not as cool he seems.

Robert: And the bottom line, they’re not being themselves. The social dynamic should be that they’re learning is really about being their most bold, assertive self. I love that idea. But if it was about just being phony in a way that gets drunk, twenty two year old women with lots of insecurities to give you a phone number, what have you really gained?

And then as you said, and then if the woman gets to know you and all of a sudden you still have these really underlying fears of “I’m not very interesting, I don’t have anything to talk about, I’m just going to try to give her everything she wants and try to make her happy.” They’ll soon get bored with all that anyway.

Matt: And then if you even if you do sleep with her, then it could give you a false sense of confidence, like you feel great for a little while because you just slept with this gorgeous woman. But that’s not going to last very long because it’s not real confidence.


8 Ways To Attract Women in 2021

Our female expert coach Lynn is here once again to give you her 8 Ways to Attract Women in 2021! Its easier, simpler, and faster than you think!

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2021 is here! And what does that mean? It means a new you, a new year, new everything, thank goodness. 2020 is gone and done and we can be rid of that.

But I want to ask you guys a serious question. Were you one of those that was waiting for a vaccine, for COVID to to be over with? Were you waiting for something, for anything until you started living your life?

Are you still waiting for things to get better for you to start living your life? I want to talk about being single in 2021. And I also want to talk about resolutions and making changes. And I want you guys to be very careful not to have the mentality of waiting until tomorrow.

That’s kind of like saying “I’m going to wait till Monday to start my diet.

I mean, guys, let’s face it, Monday comes around and by the end of that day, we’re back to that chocolate cake.

Why? Because resolutions don’t work whenever we say to ourselves, “Hey, let’s wait until X in order to start Y.” That’s a disaster waiting to happen. Whenever you wait to do something, chances of working go way down. So stop waiting.

Now.. the first thing I want to ask you is, is your life ready to bring in that special someone right now? Are you equipped? And I’m talking about mentally, emotionally, financially, physically.

If not, then guess what? Silver lining of covid now is your opportunity to get everything in check, to be ready for that love, for the many loves of your life to come walking in. Because one thing that I always tell my students – water seeks its own level.


If you pour a tub of water into a container, it will flatten out. When understanding that concept, think – what does it have to do with what I’m telling you about getting your life together to attract women into your life this 2021?

Well, wherever you are in life, think of it as let’s give the generic scale of 1 to 10, wherever you are on that scale is what you’re going to be attracting. So if you want to be attracting nines and tens, you have to be a nine and 10. And I’m not talking about you having to be a physical 9 or 10, meaning looks wise. But your life has to be somewhere in the 9’s and 10s.

Let’s be real. You see men with lots of money that are not 9’s and 10’s physically that attract 9’s and 10’s women. Why is that?

Because they’re nines and tens in a different area in their life. They’re 9’s and 10’s financially and they’re attracting 9’s and 10’s physically. If we’re being honest, power and money is pretty attractive, and sexy. That’s nothing to to be superficial about.

It really comes down to our evolution. Women are attracted to men that can provide, that can show power, provide shelter. How does that trickle down to 2021? Well, that equals men that can afford a nice lifestyle. Men are attracted to younger women with beauty and youth.. because look back at evolution. If she looks young, she’s got great skin, healthy hair, she’s more likely to be fertile and give us healthy offspring.

Whenever you see someone judging a man or a woman because they’re with someone, they’re attracted to their looks, age or money? Think back about this evolutionary concept. It’s actually normal.

Now is the time to think about all areas of your life financially, physically, emotionally, mentally. Maybe it’s education, fitness, career choice. Those are just a few examples. Ask yourself – Where do you need to be in order to attract the same level of your preferred partner? And if you’re not there, what do you need to do?


Just because we are in a pandemic, quarantining, (depending on where you are in the country and in the world) it doesn’t mean that has to halt and stop everything around you.

A lot of us can’t go out to bars and can’t be social. But that doesn’t mean that your social life has to stop. If you’ve perhaps kind of lost or let fizzle out different elements of your social life, now is the perfect time to reignite it.

Reach out to people that make you feel good or that made you feel good. Maybe it’s even been five, ten years. Send them a message, pick up the phone, put the pawns in place in order to have a healthy social life once we are able to go out and be social.

And you can also have a social life now, even if it’s not face to face. My friends and I, we do a happy hour bi-weekly on Zoom.

Do that with the guys, have a little happy hour on first Thursdays of the month or whenever it’s convenient to you. Play online
chess or other games with each other. Whatever you need to do to reignite those social connections that you used to have, even if it’s been a few years. So that once covid is finally dwindling down, and we can go out. Your social life is up and running!


Let’s take a realistic look at how prepared are you in your life to introduce somebody new? So maybe you’re divorced, maybe you have custody of kids, maybe you don’t have a very healthy work-life balance right now.

What do you need to readjust or rearrange in order to have a healthier time management and healthier work-life balance in your life? So you’ll really have time to bring in somebody new?

Maybe you need to have a conversation with your baby mama?

Maybe you need to reassess your time at work? But you need to make sure that you can afford it time wise – when you let somebody new into your life.


Just because we’re stuck inside doesn’t mean we need to be boring. It doesn’t mean that we are just stuck in front of our computers and TVs.

Become well rounded, become interesting. If you’re going to go out on dates, and if you’re going to start conversing, if you’re going to start having connections and relationships, then you have to have something to talk about other than COVID, politics, and work.

In order to become a well rounded person, you need to increase your cultural intelligence. So start reading up on things that you perhaps didn’t know much about before or things that you were slightly interested in but never had the opportunity to get more acquainted with.

Get reading more books. Get familiar with that Kindle, start listening to more podcasts, start watching some some older movies. Some that are controversial or some that have been given a lot of awards or been great conversation starters.

You will want to become a well-rounded, culturally intelligent, interesting person that actually has an opinion. And that’s another thing that we’re going to have to discuss in another topic – have an opinion and don’t be afraid of it. If you disagree with something that she says, don’t disagree just for the sake of disagreeing, but disagree because you genuinely believe something else. Do so in an amicable, constructive, friendly, way where you’re just exchanging ideas.

Get an opinion and don’t be afraid of it and start getting more information. It has to extend beyond politics, because nobody wants to talk about politics for 24 hours a day. Please.



If you look good, you feel good. And you’ll also want to be a person that respects their body.

You can’t expect a girl to completely be all dolled up, have an amazing body, take care of herself, eat healthy, while you’re being a couch potato that’s slowly gaining the pounds. Yes, I know. We’ve all probably gained a few (or a lot) during COVID, but now the light is in the tunnel.

And now again, is there a silver lining to get everything in place where we want it to be.

This is our time to set up our lives for where we want to be when we do introduce and when we do meet somebody new. So start looking good and start eating well.

If this is something that’s completely new to you, do it slowly instead of completely changing your your food in one day, which, you know, has a very high likely chance of failing. Start changing one meal at a time. So if breakfasts used to be pancakes and bacon, just replace the breakfast into something a little bit hardier, and something a little bit more wholesome. Do so slowly, and after you’re comfortable with breakfast, then maybe in a couple of weeks now you’ve changed what you eat for breakfast as well as lunch, and so on and so forth.

The small little changes is what’s most sustaining. But you have to start now, and you have to start slow.

So start looking good. Start taking an extra walk. If you’re if you’re walking to the grocery store – instead of parking really close by the door, take the last parking spot all the way to the back of the parking lot. Those extra steps make a difference.

If you haven’t invested in some kind of workout machine. I personally am a new user of the peloton, the spinning bike, and I am in love. I really recommend it.

But you got to do what’s good for you and something that you know is you’re going to do in the long run, not something that you’re all going to start for a few months and drop it. Something that you love, something that you enjoy.


Its time we talk about your physical environment and not just your physical body, which is also equally as important. Have a look at your surroundings. Have a look at your settings. A good, hard, look at where you live.

If the love of your life came knocking on your door right now, would you feel comfortable? Would you feel proud showing her where you live? If you’re a clutter bug,
I want you to get that in check again. Now is the silver lining, because now is your opportunity to prepare for the kind of life that you want.

Get your house clutter free, get it clean, and beyond that, and we talk about this when I talk about online dating with my clients, make your house a little bit sexy, get some grand artwork, some big artwork pieces, get some modern furniture, get some beautiful lighting, uplighting, make sure you’re showcasing it.

Simply put – get your home in shape. What your place looks like says so much about you. And who doesn’t want to come home or wake up to an amazing, well put place?


When I say start connecting, I mean that in a multitude of ways.

One is start connecting with women now and that is if you can’t go and approach on the street or out there in the real world, then start connecting online.

And I’m aslo talking about you going out an about and start practicing, connecting, conversating, start getting better at having rapport skills. Get on those dating apps,
start talking to your female friends, start getting better at having natural conversations and banter goes a long way.

So if that’s something that you’re missing out on, make sure that you’re practicing that. As the old saying goes – practice makes perfect. And you can always practice that through texting.

You can also practice that by joining an improv group. A lot of the improv groups are now offering online improv groups. Also Toastmasters, join an online Toastmasters group, start connecting, because this will help you start getting really dialed in to feeling her emotions and going back and forth.


Whether it’s Toastmasters or improv or maybe even joining an online cooking class or an online book club, online wine appreciation, jazz appreciation, whatever it is, take courses where it’s perhaps on Zoom where you’re interacting and meeting other people.

Get hobbies, get an interesting life, because I’ll tell you the secret right now: what really attracts women is a remarkable man that’s on his mission, that has his own life, that’s got his stuff going on. All of the things I just told you are going to make you great for you.

They’re not going to make a great for her. They’re going to make you great for you. And if you’re great for you, she’s going to be attracted to that.

Always put yourself as number one. You were born here alone. The truth of it, you’re going to die alone.

No one’s going to take care of you and no one’s going to treat your body and your mental, your emotional, your physical space like you do. Put yourself first. Make yourself the best version that you can.

We’re talking about confidence. We’re talking about love life. We’re talking about financial. We’re talking about every element to give you the best life that you can.

But you’ve got to take action now. Now, if you don’t know how to do any of these or even one of this, don’t wait till tomorrow.

Let’s see where you are on your path.


We can’t do this alone. There is power in the collective. This is why we have experts. This is why we have guidance. This is why we have counselors. We can’t know what we don’t know. And we can’t get ourselves if we don’t know the path.

Take opportunity of this last little patch of COVID, and get yourself prepared to meet that special someone in your life. Stop settling because how much longerdo you want to stay stuck wishing for what you want, but instead you’re just settling for what you have? Don’t let another minute go by.