Watch Out For These 6 Dating Red Flags (Know When To Avoid These Women)

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6 Dating Red Flags

I’m going to tell you about my buddy who, like most guys, couldn’t tell if a girl was crazy or not until it was too late. Also If you’re new here, make sure to subscribe and click the bell, so you don’t miss out when we release new content.

A few years back, I had a buddy – a tall, good-looking Croatian guy – who came to me for help. I got him approaching girls on his college campus and in local bars, and in a few weeks, he started lining up dates. Excited with his newfound skills, he started dating a whole bunch of girls, but he began to continually get into situations where girls would flip out on him, misinterpret his messages, and string him along.

One whole summer, he dated a bunch of girls who would just give him dramatic moment after dramatic moment — one, in particular, would CONSTANTLY nag him to find out where he was at, and flip out when he wasn’t instantly available. EXASPERATED, he told me; WHAT’S THE POINT OF DATING GIRLS IF I CAN’T FIND ONE THAT FITS?

Just because she’s beautiful, doesn’t mean she’s compatible with you. That’s an important word; Compatible. Before you start investing a considerable amount of time with a girl, you want to make sure she’s qualified!

What’s the purpose of Dating?

• Dating is QUALIFICATION for her fitness in your future (and vice versa)
  • You qualify for status (husband/wifey boyfriend/girlfriend, etc.)
  • You qualify for romantic compatibility
  • You qualify for values and standards

Relationship goals vary, but you can future-proof whatever your goals are by looking out for these red flags. Have you ever dated someone and thought, after the fact… WTF was I thinking?

Why do we do this to ourselves? We don’t pay attention… that is, we’re not MINDFUL when our brains are overtaken by her beauty. There’s a couple of reasons for this;

Love is blind during the Infatuation/Honeymoon stage.

There’s always that stage where everything seems perfect, and that’s always what happens in the first part of the relationship. Because we get all that hits of dopamine and serotonin in our system the first time we get with her, the body perceives everything as joy and reward – oblivious to any wrong that may come your way. When the initial phase fades, and all the hormones are back on track, you get shocked when you realize everything was all a dream and that’s she’s actually one crazy person!

Your own boundaries are too fluid/ You’ll take anything/You don’t have standards.

Now I want you to get this because it’s SO VITAL to do so you don’t settle for less than what you want in a partner. You’ll end up living a miserable life.

The Red Flags in Dating

Here are some signs to watch out for, with specific examples. After I list these, I’ll tell you how to make SURE you’re reading the signs right, so you never have a question whether to see this relationship play out or to cut the cord early and save some time.

• They Have An External Locus Of Control
  That is; they blame the outside environment, circumstance, or other people for the results (positive or negative) in their lives.
  – She justifies being Overdramatic
  – She talks badly about her exes
  – She blames you for her mood or emotions.

• Their Social Group’s Values Aren’t Similar To Your Own
  – You think her friends are tools
  – Her friends think SHE’S a tool

• They Act Entitled To Their Requests
  – She treats waiters badly
  – She makes you do all the work.
  – She’s unappreciative
  -She never says thank you
  -She has stories of how ungrateful she is of other people’s generosity

• You Two Are Incompatible
  – You guys argue all the damn time
  – You don’t share core values or life goals
  – She doesn’t seem to admire you or be proud of your mission
  – She doesn’t consider your feedback
  – She tries to convince you she’s not like this most times
  – She doesn’t respect boundaries.

• They Suck At Relationships In General
  – She has a bad relationship with her family
  – She just broke up with somebody else
  – She has commitment issues.
• They Play Power Games
  – She’s inflexible
  – She’s violent
  – She’s controlling your time
  – She uses blame, guilt, or punishment to get you to change your behavior
  -She uses sex as a weapon, withholds affection, appreciation, etc.
  -She keeps score, throwing back your offenses or fuckups.

How To Spot Red Flags

Spotting these red flags can be tricky since people are pretty dynamic… but by knowing HOW to read these signs, you can get pretty good at filtering out people who aren’t qualified. If you’re taking notes, write these two tips down, because they make figuring out red flags super simple.

Look for consistent themes, not one-off experiences.

“A sample of one only shows that behavior exists. It’s not sufficient to determine frequency” – Johnny Soporno

Communicate your concerns early.

If you see something that seems out of place, Communicate your concerns early, and gauge reactions with Presence and a Qualification frame of mind.