There’s one universal trigger for attraction that can hardly be disputed: CONFIDENCE IS SEXY. This applies for both sexes.
Here’s the deal, if you are lacking in the confidence department then you are pretty screwed in the dating world. You see, women yearn to be with a powerful confident man because being with that kind of man makes her feel safe. This is part of their inherent biological instincts.
I used to lack confidence and my dating life suffered. I would only get dates with women I was only mildly attracted to. The ones I really wanted wouldn’t touch me with a 10 foot pole. It pretty much sucked.
But alas, I found hope. Thankfully, confidence, is something that can be gained with the proper tools and right conditioning.
But, can someone become INSTANTLY more confident with minimal effort?
The answer, I found out, was indubitably YES.
Here are 3 powerful and somewhat strange tips I found that will immediately triple your confidence, boost your charisma, give you a surge of personal power, turn the heads of your desired target, and magnetize your personality so others will desperately want that “extra something” that you appear to have.
#1: Victory Pose
Science has proven that your physiology affects your psychology. This is just a fancy way of saying that what you do (your behavior) affects the way you feel (level of confidence). For example, it’s almost impossible to feel bad while you are smiling.
Try it out. Plaster a big ear-to-ear grin across that sexy mug of yours and tell me how you feel. Well?
Studies have shown that when you mimic the Victory Pose, standing tall with both arms above your head as if you just won a race, you will immediate experience an increase in testosterone (the power hormone) and a decrease in cortisol (the stress hormone).
We see this throughout the animal kingdom especially in alpha male primates who use the Victory Pose to mark and protect their territory. Without this composition of high testosterone and low cortisol one has a difficulty of reaching high levels of confidence.
So next time you are feeling unconfident just raise your fists in the air and smile for two minutes and let the power hormone kick in and give you a shot of testosterone and a boost of confidence.
Go watch this video to learn more about using your physiology to increase your confidence.
If you want to take this principle even further, simply ask yourself, “how would a confident person stand, walk, talk, etc.,” and then model those behaviors.
For example: Stand tall with your shoulders back. Walk with purpose and with a bit of swagger. Talk louder and use dramatic pauses (shows that you expect other’s will listen). Adopt these behaviors and you will instantly feel a boost in confidence AND others will naturally perceive you as more confident and charismatic.
#2: Get Grounded
All aspects of fear, nervousness and anxiety in our lives are caused by us not being fully present in the moment. Our mind is always fighting for control forcing us to dwell on past event or possible future outcomes.
Think about it, when you feel a lack of confidence isn’t it because all of your attention is on the past or future? You are either focusing on how awful it was last time you were in that situation or you are dwelling on all the possible worst outcomes, instead of just being right there living in the moment.
When you are “in the moment,” you cannot not feel anxiety from past failures or worry about a perpetual bleak future. You are just there, experiencing everything that is going on in the present moment, fully grounded and aware of your body and what is going on in your environment.
So how do you overcome fear and anxiousness by getting grounded and present? It’s super easy. Here are simple 3 methods for stopping the chatter in your head to help you come back to the present moment:
1) Focus on your breathing. Take 3 deep breathes right now as you are reading this. Allow your lungs to expand and take in about 50% more oxygen than usual. Notice how you feel and how your focus goes out of your “head” and into your “body”. You feel a lot more relaxed, calm and present don’t you?
2) Bring your awareness into your body. Notice the sensations in your body. Feel your feet on the ground. If you are nervous, allow yourself to experience the nervousness, instead of trying to use logical thinking to try and make it disappear. As you allow yourself to experience and be fully aware of all the sensations in your body, including your nervousness, your focus comes right back into the present moment and the energy in your head (focusing on the past or future) will dissipate and the worry and anxiousness will subside.
3) Scan the vicinity. Notice what’s going on in your environment. Pay very close attention to every little detail. Scan your environment right now and notice some details that you didn’t notice prior.
If you are talking with someone and you need to get present then scanning the vicinity may be inappropriate. Instead notice the details on the person’s face, in particular their eyes. Notice the different shades of colors, the red reins, the tiny wrinkles, etc.. This brings your awareness back to what is going on right now, back to the present moment.
#3: Creative Visualization
The effects of visualization on the human mind are outstanding, due to the fact that our unconscious mind cannot distinguish fantasy from reality. Just taking a few minutes to visualize yourself as a confident person can make you instantly feel more confident.
See yourself being totally 100% confident in a situation that normally would make you nervous and uncomfortable. Maybe it’s on stage giving a presentation. Maybe it’s talking to someone of the opposite sex. Take a few minutes to visualize yourself in that situation and see yourself being totally comfortable and at ease.
While you visualize this scenario, notice every little detail. What do you see, smell, feel? And most importantly, allow yourself to feel empowered and confident as you visualize yourself succeeding in that situation.
This can immediately really give that boost of confidence you need, as well as increase your overall confidence level over time as you incorporate creative visualization into your daily routine.
So how can you use these principles in real life? Well, for example, next time you have a big date coming up take a few minutes to visualize the date going really well. See yourself with her and feel at ease and 100% confident with your new potential lover. Then right before the date do the Victory Pose, just make sure she doesn’t catch you in the act lol. I suggest striking the pose at home or in a public restroom.
And finally, while on the date, any time you feel nervous of anxious go through the techniques to get present: take a deep breath and focus on your breathing, feel your body and notice the details in her eyes . Try it out.
What this all boils down to is this: next time you are on a date, next time you want to approach an attractive stranger, next time you have to speak in public, give these tricks a try and feel an instant burst in confidence and watch in amazement as others suddenly perceive you as more self-assured, powerful and confident.
For more tips on boosting confidence check out our article on Body Language Hacks That Will Transform Your Dating.