Most guys make dating way harder than it needs to be. You don’t need to be six feet tall, jacked, and some smooth talking alpha to attract amazing women. What you do need are a few powerful but simple shifts. And today, I’m giving you my top ten most essential but easy dating tips that actually work.
These are the same tips that separate the guys women forget from the ones women chase. And I saved the wildest one, the one that makes women sexually addicted to you, for last. So let’s get started from the approach all the way to the bedroom.
1. Meet Women Where There’s No Competition
If you’re only meeting women at bars, clubs, and dating apps, you’re setting yourself up for failure. In those places, you’re one of dozens or even thousands fighting for her attention. For an easy win, meet women where there’s no competition.
Go to places where other guys aren’t approaching women, which is basically everywhere. Daytime, everyday situations. Think about it. When was the last time you were at a coffee shop or walking down the street and saw a random guy approach a beautiful woman? I hardly ever see it either, unless it’s me or one of my clients.
It’s an untapped environment. And believe it or not, it’s where women want to meet the man of their dreams. They don’t fantasize about meeting a guy online or at a bar when everyone’s drunk. She fantasizes about being at a bookstore or walking her dog at the park, and a guy comes up, says something charming, makes her swoon, gives her butterflies, and later she tells her friends, who all get jealous wishing it happened to them.
Ask women how often they get approached in everyday situations. They usually say never. It literally never happens, but they wish it would. So just by approaching her, you’ve already separated yourself from 99.999% of guys who are too afraid, think it’s rude, or talk themselves out of it. But not you.
2. Stop Overthinking
Most guys overthink everything. What to say, when to say it, what to text, whether she’s into them. Meanwhile, the guy who simply says what he wants and owns his attraction already has the date.
Most guys who approach are either too aggressive, saying something like, “Damn girl, you’re so hot, give me your number,” with zero connection. Or they go too nice and indirect, like, “Oh, I like your purse, where’d you get that?” Then they talk about random things nobody cares about. There’s no emotion, so she can’t feel attraction.
The key is to be masculine and direct. Go for what you want and be honest about your intentions. You don’t need to hide the fact that you’re attracted to her. You’re a man. Of course you are. Just say it. Not in a pedestalizing way like, “Wow, you’re so beautiful.” Say it calmly, casually, in a way that assumes she’ll like you back.
When done correctly, because of mirror neurons, she’ll start feeling that turn-on too. That’s why at our live workshops we bring in models for guys to role-play with so they can practice turning women on not just with words, but with energy and vibe. Even something as simple as “Hi, I’m Matt” can turn a woman on when done right.
3. Never Brag
This is why you should never brag or try to impress a girl. The guys who try the hardest to impress her are usually the ones who never get a second date. Bragging, name dropping, flexing. It all backfires because high-value men don’t need to prove anything.
Instead of impressing her by talking about yourself, get her to talk about herself. The more she shares, the more comfortable, connected, and attracted she feels.
And when she asks you about something that you could brag about, don’t hype it up. Either answer simply or make a playful self-deprecating joke.
For example, if you built a giant business and she asks what you do, don’t say, “Oh yeah, I built this huge company, we make millions.” Instead say something like you work the drive-thru at McDonald’s or that you’re a janitor at an adult movie theater. She’ll laugh, and later when she finds out the truth, she’ll think, “Wow, he didn’t even try to impress me.” That’s impressive.
I even tell clients with Lamborghinis not to pick a girl up in it for the first date. Let her find out later. She’ll think, “Wow, he didn’t even use his Lamborghini to impress me.”
When you don’t try to impress her, that is impressive. It shows confidence and self-worth.
4. Make Her Qualify Herself
Most guys spend the whole date trying to attract her. That’s backwards. If you want her to see you as desirable, stop qualifying yourself and get her to qualify herself to you. This tiny shift changes everything.
It’s about mindset. You see yourself as worthy. Not above her. Just equal enough to decide if she’s your type.
Know what you want in a girl. Fun, open-minded, spontaneous? Then say something like, “I like fun, spontaneous girls. Are you that type, or are you more reserved?”
Or say, “I’m curious. What do you spend most of your time doing? And don’t say scrolling on social media.” Ask judging questions because you’re actually judging if she’s right for you.
The more beautiful the girl, the less guys do this. When you do it subtly, she’ll start trying to win you over. Women want a guy they have to work for. We value what we earn.
5. Make Statements, Not Questions
Want to sound instantly more attractive? Stop asking so many questions. Start making bold statements instead.
Questions feel like an interrogation. Statements feel confident.
Instead of, “Where are you from?” make an assumption like, “You seem like you’re from the West Coast. You’ve got that vibe.” If you’re right, she’s impressed. If you’re wrong, she’ll tell you. Either way, you get the info.
People love hearing about themselves even more than talking about themselves. That’s why assumptions work so well.
And when you need something from her, like her number, don’t ask, “Can I get your number?” Say, “You seem cool. Let’s exchange numbers.” Confident and direct.
6. Texting Isn’t the Win
Getting her number isn’t the win. Texting isn’t the win. The date is the win. If you’re texting too much just to chat, you’re losing.
After you get her number, don’t ask her out on the first text. I usually text something like, “So random meeting you earlier. It was cute how you got nervous when I said hi.” They usually laugh and respond.
Then move toward logistics and set up the date. Keep it simple. Make statements, not questions.
7. Start Dates Right
Most guys start dates wrong. They go in for a handshake. That’s formal and awkward. Instead, give her a hug or a kiss on the cheek. Break the touch barrier immediately. Treat her like you’ve known her for years. Treat her like she’s already your lover. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
8. Multi-Venue Dates
To create a strong connection on a first date, go to multiple venues. One venue equals one vibe, one memory. Boring. Three or more spots feels like an adventure. It feels like multiple dates in one, which makes her feel like she’s known you longer.
Go bar hopping, dance at one venue, grab ice cream at another. Keep it light. Build compliance throughout the night. By the time you invite her home, she’s more likely to say yes because she’s already been saying yes.
9. Invite Her Confidently
At the end of the date, most guys make a crucial mistake. They want her to come home but don’t invite her because they don’t want to seem pushy. If you don’t invite her, she may think you’re afraid or lack confidence.
You don’t have to sleep with every girl on the first date. But you must either invite her home or tell her she has to wait.
Say, “I’d love to bring you home, but I’m going to make you wait. Maybe next time.” That drives her crazy in a good way.
Or invite her confidently: “Let’s keep going. I’ve got some drinks at my place. It’s right around the corner. We can stop by there, then head to another spot after.”
10. Make Women Sexually Addicted
Here’s what makes women crave you. One simple tip in bed most guys never use. If you finish fast, own it. Don’t apologize. Say something playful like, “Look what you did. You’re too damn sexy. That’s your fault.”
But lasting too long can also be bad because she’ll feel insecure. The solution? Become multi-orgasmic. Finish once, then go back to foreplay while you recover, then go again when you’re ready. This blows women’s minds. Most men never do it.
When she says, “You’re going again?” say, “Damn straight. Look at you.”
This makes women sexually addicted to you.
If you want me and my team to personally help you through the entire dating process, from the approach to the date to the bedroom, and help you become your most confident and attractive self, apply for our coaching program. There’s a link in the description. Hopefully I’ll see you at a bootcamp soon.