what to do on the first date

What To Do On A First Date – 7 Mistakes You Need To Avoid

Todays examples cover what to do on a first date, and what to avoid doing when you’re with her. Have you ever been on a date with a girl and it just went horribly wrong or worse, It went really well, but then she never called you again?

Or.. she told you there was no connection. That flat out sucks.

Chances are you made one of the seven mistakes that I’m about to talk about. When you stop making these mistakes, not only will you have a lot more successful dates, but she’ll also feel a deeper connection with you.

She’ll be more attracted to you and you’ll be more likely to get a second or third date.. And it will make things, romantic and intimate a whole lot faster:

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WHAT TO DO ON A FIRST DATE
7 Mistakes You Need To Avoid

Restaurant/Dinner Dates Or Movie Dates Are NOT Impressive Anymore

A lot of guys set up dates that are just way too formal. They take them to really expensive restaurants trying to impress them. But the reality is that it actually has the opposite effect, because think about it. Anybody can take her to a fancy restaurant, but can anybody be as cool and badass as you? I don’t think so.

So impress her with your personality and by who you are as a man, not by the place that you take her. Plus taking her to dinner is just flat out boring and average. Be a little bit more creative than that.

Instead, take her to places that you enjoy places that are fun for you, because if it’s memorable, then she’ll want to go on another date with you. So in that note, movies are out! Instead take her to a fun bar or do an activity together. Whether it’s ice skating or rollerblading or laser tag.

That would actually be a pretty fun date and that’s going to be a lot more memorable, but if you’re an older guy, and that sounds a little childish, think of some other things that you could do with her. Even just going to a cool lounge and getting to know each other over drinks is totally fine. And try to find bars and lounges that have a more romantic or even seductive vibe. Where the lighting and the music is a little lower versus one like a rowdy frat club.


Dressing Sloppy

Here’s a fun story:

My dad actually got remarried two years ago and I’ve never seen him happier in his entire life. But when he showed up to that first date with the woman, who’s now his wife, he was wearing Crocs, sweat shorts and a tee shirt that was about two sizes too big. And she was immediately turned off, but luckily she’s very open minded and she gave him a chance, but some women will not be so open-minded.

You don’t want to miss out on the relationship of your dreams just because you don’t know how to dress yourself. First impressions do matter because we make a lot of assumptions about the person just by what they’re wearing, because we don’t know anything else about them at the time.

So make sure you start the date on the right foot, because you probably put in some effort to get her on a date with you. You don’t want to sabotage yourself just because you picked out the wrong outfit.

Asking Her “Where Do You Want To Go?”

The next mistake is asking her where she wants to go. You are the man. You take the lead. Don’t put all that pressure on her that she has to pick the venue. Women want a man with a plan. So have a plan, not just for where you start the day, but also where you go throughout the date and where you end up, because that’s going to show that you’re a leader and that’s highly attractive when you are taking the lead from the very beginning.

So when you’re setting up the date, don’t text her “Hey, want to hang out some time?“. Tell her where to meet you, and what time. I like to even tell her what to wear. I actually tell women to wear either a dress or a skirt and heels, because then she’s going to feel more sexy that way. That starts the date off on the right foot. And quite frankly, I want her to feel that way.

Now I know some of you feminist men out there thinking, what are you talking about? Women want to be treated equal nowadays. They should be asking me out, not going to happen, bro.

A feminine woman – Those are the kinds of women you’re probably attracted to.. want a masculine man. That means a man that knows how to take the lead. Take control, not be controlling, but can lead the interaction because if you don’t do that, then she’s going to have to step into her masculine energy and take the lead.

And that’s going to make her lose all attraction towards you because then she’s gonna see you as a feminine man.

Speaking of taking the lead throughout the date, that means going to more than one venue because one venue equals one memory with you. Imagine you’re hanging out with her for two hours in one coffee shop, and you’re talking about all these great things, but she really has just one memory of you at that coffee shop. But instead, what if within those two hours you kept moving around every 30 minutes or so that would be five different venues.

That’s five experiences and five memories. It’s more like an adventure. And of course it’s going to be a lot more memorable and she’s going to feel like she knows you better. She’s going to have a deeper connection with you because you had multiple experiences together.

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You Don’t Make A Move

The next mistake that a lot of guys make is they don’t make the move and I get it, man. I’ve been there. Everything’s going great. And you don’t want to risk anything. You don’t want her to like freak out or think you’re weird or creepy or too forward. So you end up just sitting there. Not kissing her, even though you want to.

And here’s the deal, man, most feminine women are not going to make the first move. They expect you to do it. And if things are going great and the mood is kind of set, meaning you’ve taken her to some venues that they have, you know, a little bit more intimate vibe, or maybe you’re just walking through the park or whatever, and you don’t go for the kiss. She’s likely to be disappointed. And she’s going to feel like you’re a weak man.

Like you didn’t have the balls to go for it. Who is she going to go on a second date with? The guy who had the balls to make the move or the guy who was too afraid to make the move? You think you’re playing it safe by not kissing her, but really you’re sabotaging yourself.

So as long as things are going well, and you guys obviously like each other, then I recommend somewhere in the middle or it’s the end of the date, make your move, go for the kiss. Even if it’s not the perfect moment.. try to create the moment.

One time I was on a date with this girl in Saigon, Vietnam, and the moment just never created itself. I don’t know. It was just a little awkward. She was very shy, but she came back to my place and she was sitting on the couch, but she sat really far away from me. She even put like a pillow between us. So I’m like “Well, what do I do?” It’s going to be awkward if I try to make a move on her. But I figured, Hey, it’s better to be awkward and make the move to not make the move at all. So I made the move. It.. was.. awkward.. She didn’t reciprocate right away, but now it kind of set the frame that “Okay, I want to kiss her.” So she just started kinda relaxing after a little while. And then I tried again and then she was totally into it.

It’s important to remember too, even if you make the move and she doesn’t reciprocate and kiss you back. As long as you, you remain calm, you don’t act all affected and say, Ooh, what’s wrong. Why didn’t you kiss me? I thought you liked me. Yeah. As long as you don’t do that, then she’s actually going to like you more because she sees you as a man who goes for what she wants.

Guys Don’t Initiate the Touch

There needs to be some touching along the way throughout the date. So the next mistake that most guys make is they don’t touch right away.. Now, I’m not saying be a really creepy guy and have your hands all over her and hold with her right away. That’s a little too soon, but break the touch barrier as soon as you can, which is usually when you first meet her with a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

And then I usually say, all right, let’s go. And we start walking. Arm-in-arm. That way we’re walking to the first venue. The way a couple would walk together, but it’s not too intimate too soon.

It’s not like holding hands. That would be a little too much. I usually grab her hand when we’re going from the first to the second venue or second to the third venue, especially when we’re crossing the street. I just grab her hand.

We start walking in the notice. Does she keep holding my hand? Once we get to the other side, in fact, that’s a really good sign. If she’s holding hands with you, especially if she interlocks your fingers, that’s almost always a good indicator that she wants you to kiss her. But the point is, don’t be afraid to touch her a little bit throughout the date.


Talking Too Much and Treating The Date Like an Interview

Next, probably one of the biggest mistakes that guys make on a date is talking about themselves too much. I hear women complaining about this all the time for a few reasons:

Number one, if you keep talking about yourself, she knows everything about you. You’re no longer a mystery. And if you’re not the exact category of the type of man that she wants, then she’s probably not going to go on a second date with you because there’s nothing else to figure out.

And second, it’s just kind of boring to listen to somebody that you don’t really know that well talk about themselves forever. Cause honestly, on a first date, you don’t care about the other person all that much, but guess who you do care about? Yourself, which is why you’re talking about yourself so much.

So get her to open up, get her to talk about herself. I know that’s kind of contradictory, cause I just said you don’t care about other people as much as you care about yourself, but try to really listen. Don’t think about what you’re going to say, because that puts you all up in your head and she can feel that you’re not really connecting there with her.

Instead, be present, feel your body and listen to every word she says. If you can do that, even if she’s talking and talking and talking, she’s gonna feel it with you. And she’s going to feel like you really listen and care about her. And that’s why you should also play laser tag or do fun things on the date – That way you don’t always have to be talking the entire time.

Remember the point of a date number one is to get to know each other, to see if there’s a compatibility or not.

The conversation should be fun. It shouldn’t be too serious. It should definitely not be like an interview that will bore her to death.

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Matt Artisan
Intl. Dating Coach & Founder @ The Attractive Man LLC
Matt Artisan is considered one of the World’s Top Dating & Attraction Coaches.

For the last 5 years Matt has personally conducted Live Trainings and Workshops in over 36 countries, helping thousands of men all of the world build confidence and succeed with women.

He has been interviewed by ABC and featured on MTV.
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