How to Deal with Rejection
When it happens, you’re not actually dying. But it sure as hell feels like it. I’m talking about REJECTION. And that’s what we’ll be talking about today: How to deal with rejection.
Yeah, rejection sucks. It feels like a visceral gut-punch straight to your confidence. It can knock a guy out for days (even weeks) and make him swear to a life of celibacy just to never experience it again…
But today, I will show you how to stop being afraid of rejection – and instead – use it to your advantage.
That’s right, you can turn rejection into your most attractive “asset” and we’ll show you how in today’s video:
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HOW TO DEAL WITH REJECTION
It’s inevitable. It happens.
But, it doesn’t have to be the end of the world. Often times, we allow rejection to dictate how we see ourselves and how we feel about ourselves. In some cases, we get angered by rejection and lash out at the individual rejecting us. Neither of these options is a healthy or viable solution. Today I’m going to discuss how you can stop identifying rejection as a negative occurrence, what to do when you get rejected, and how to remain positive about dating no matter what.
Stop Assigning Blame
- Cognitive Distortions – thoughts that cause individuals to perceive reality inaccurately. According to the cognitive model of Beck, a negative outlook on reality sometimes called negative schemas (or schemata), is a factor in symptoms of emotional dysfunction and poorer subjective well being. Specifically, negative thinking patterns cause negative emotions.
- During difficult circumstances, these distorted thoughts can contribute to an overall negative outlook on the world and a depressive or anxious mental state.
- “You” were not rejected – here’s why: your actions were rejected. You as a person are much more than your actions. Therefore, you as a total person were not rejected. Don’t think of it as “you” as a whole being rejected, rather, it was your actions that were rejected.
- Stop generalizing (ex. X event “always” happens to me)
You Are Never Guaranteed A Yes (Nor Are You Entitled To It)
- Rejection doesn’t mean anyone is at fault
- Rejection says nothing about your value as a person
- Every experience is different, what worked with one person may not work with another/ One size does NOT fit all
Think of Rejection As An Opportunity
- Stop obsessing over rejection
- Rejection means you still have opportunities to grow
- When one tactic does not work, it is a chance to get creative and try new things
What To Do After You Get Rejected
- Thank the other person for their time
- Spend time with people that bring out your best self
- Stop the self-criticizing/negative feelings/voices before they can start
- Do something that makes you happy/feel good about yourself
- Some things you can do to help you overcome rejection
- Keep positive attributes about yourself around you. Either on a post-it or on your phone
- Try the https://www.rejectiontherapy.com/game/
At the end of the day, rejection is inevitable. Whether it’s in business, personal life, or relationships, you will experience rejection at some point. What’s important to remember is that it doesn’t mean your world is ending. It’s simply a part of life and one that you are fully capable of overcoming.
If you need even more help, try the rejection exercise. In this exercise, participants specifically aim to get rejected. Maybe this is by going to Starbucks and asking for a discount.
The point of this exercise is putting yourself is low-risk situations where you get rejected but desensitize yourself to the experience of being rejected. This way, being rejected doesn’t have to be the enemy. You’ll learn to get out of your head when speaking to a woman because you won’t be so terrified of being turned down.
I never ask women out because rejection is always guaranteed – there is no chance of any woman ever agreeing to go out with me. Women send signals to men they are attracted to – and not to those they are not. I have never gotten a signal from a woman; in fact women have always completely ignored me. Since there is zero evidence that any woman has the slightest interest in me as a boyfriend, I have concluded that I am simply not attractive to women, and therefore it is not worth approaching in the first place.