Learn How to Attract a Girl or Women and be Attractive | The Attractive Man
How do you approach a girl for the first time? What do women find attractive? The answers may surprise you.
From energy polarity to masculine traits, this article will teach you how to attract women effortlessly.
I live in a world foreign to most men – a world where gorgeous women often complain that I’m not giving them enough attention and ask me why I’m too busy for them. The truth is, they are amazing girls and I would love nothing more than to be able to see them as much as they want. But I only have so much time on my hands. Crazy, right?
I’m not complaining. I know a lot of guys dream about having problems like this, and some men go their entire lives never knowing what it’s like to have gorgeous women chasing them, vying for their affection. In fact, many guys are completely lost when it comes to attracting women, not knowing where to begin. Not too long ago, I was that guy myself – though, after everything I’ve learned about women and how much my life has changed as a result, it seems like another lifetime.
This is good news for you. If I was able to learn how to attract women, then so can you. My goal is to help you get there. And by getting there I mean knowing the basics and eventually mastering how to approach women.
This article will offer you a conceptual overview of what it takes to attract gorgeous women into your life consistently. We’re going to start on the woo-woo end of the spectrum by talking about Energy Polarity, and get more concrete as we go. It’s important that you understand the more abstract, esoteric concepts in order to build context for the more actionable tips I’ll give later on in the article.
Let’s dive in.
How To Attract Women
Energy Polarities (Opposites Attract)
Did you ever play with magnets as a kid? If you did, then you’re familiar with the concept of polarity attraction – even if you didn’t call it by that name. For those of you who aren’t familiar, let me explain:
Magnets have two poles – a positive pole and a negative pole. If you put two of the same type of poles together, they repel each other. But, if you put opposite poles together – one positive pole and one negative one – they will magnetically attract.
This same concept applies to attracting women. Like magnets, humans have energy polarities – masculine and feminine. Unfortunately, masculine traits such as aggression, confidence, and assertiveness are demonized and discouraged by our society and systematically weeded out. This leads to a culture of wimpy, effeminate men who, according to the laws of energy polarity, can only attract masculine, dominant women – not the alluring, feminine women that they truly desire.
Much of attracting the women you actually want in your life comes down to reclaiming and deepening this masculine polarity that is your birthright. This can be a daunting task, as it requires a lot of retraining of your own behavior.However, once you’re rooted in the solid foundations of your masculine energy, not only will you feel amazing – but gorgeous women will flock to your side to bask in the presence of your energy, with almost no effort on your part. In fact, all of the techniques in the world can’t replace the effortless ability to attract women that being rooted in your masculine polarity provides.
Masculine Polarity Traits
So what are these masculine traits that women find so attractive? And how can you go about developing them?
To understand the answers to these questions, it helps to step into the shoes of the women you’ll be seducing. While men are primarily focused on physical attractiveness when it comes to dating – at least, initially – women have an entirely different set of concerns.
Women are much more physically fragile than men, and largely depend on the physical and psychological strength of a man for protecting her and her child. Because of their fragility, they have also developed an ingrained desire to be around males with high social status, as men with higher status have access to more resources such as food, shelter, and allies, and can, therefore, better ensure her survival and that of her child.
If you’re thinking this sounds very caveman-esque, you’re absolutely right – these traits have been hardwired into the female psyche over hundreds of generations of evolution. It’s almost universal (full lesbians excluded), and you’re not going to change it. So the best thing you can do is develop the masculine polarity traits that will trigger women’s deeply ingrained evolutionary bias.
To get a better understanding of what types of behavior masculine polarity traits would include, think about the way Conor McGregor handles himself during MMA press conferences and matches. He comes across as assertive, strong-willed and even aggressive when needed. He’s not timid and doesn’t shy away from calling people on their shit. You get the feeling watching him that he’s confident in his ability to handle himself against all opponents, and wouldn’t hesitate to throw a punch if the situation calls for it.
Obviously, if you want to know how to attract a girl, the last thing you’ll want is to get into is a fistfight. However, when you’re able to project a sense of dominance and grounded confidence that comes from being willing to stand up for yourself in all scenarios, women can’t help but take notice of you.
Other traits associated with high-status men that are rooted in their masculine polarity include:
- The ability to provide for and protect a woman
- Having a network of relationships with other high-status men
- Walking through life with unflinching confidence and ease
- Maintaining your cool in all situations
- Leading those around you
- Entertaining yourself (doing this shows that you’re relaxed and enjoying yourself)
- …Hopefully you’re starting to get the idea by now
So we know that the shortcut for how to attract beautiful women is developing high-status, masculine polarity traits. And we know what that looks like in a man. But knowing that information alone is not enough! In order to develop attractive traits, you need to practice these behaviors until they become ingrained into who you are.
That means creating specific, measurable goals, much like improving in any other area or skill set. Do this with the masculine polarity traits, and you’ll be well on your way to attracting more gorgeous women into your life than you could have previously imagined!
High-status Body Language
When you’ve developed the masculine polarity traits, you’ll naturally find yourself expressing these traits through your words and body language, indicating your high status automatically. Conveniently, it also works the other way around – using high-status body language causes you to begin to feel a sense of confidence, dominance, and status within yourself.
Whats the best way to approach a girl? Here are some high-status body language keys to keep in mind:
- Solid eye contact – High-status men don’t shy away from eye contact. When you meet a woman’s gaze, do so with grounded, calm, laser-like eye contact. You don’t want it to feel creepy or intense, but rather relaxed and comfortable
- Deliberate movements – Avoid fidgeting, jerking, or sudden movements as those indicate the emotional distress that accompanies low status. Instead, make slow, deliberate movements that project an air of calm confidence
- Being Non-reactive – In a social interaction, the high-status individual is the one that other are reacting to – not the other way around. Avoid physically reacting to other people. That doesn’t mean you need to ignore them – simply take the time to deliberately respond on your own terms. For instance, while I was typing this, the girl I’m sitting with tapped my shoulder. Rather than turning to cater to her immediately, I took my time to finish writing the paragraph before giving her my attention.
In any and all interactions throughout your day, you can begin to notice whether your body language is high status and dominant, or low status and submissive, and make adjustments accordingly.
Tips to Attract Women Effortlessly
1. Become the Leader of Your Social Circle
Men who are leaders are incredibly attractive to women. The fact that people are willing to follow your lead indicates your status to women, making it much easier for you to meet and attract them.
Becoming the leader of your social circle is simple – it just takes a bit more effort than the average Joe is willing to put in. Start planning events centered around your interests, and invite people to attend. This can be huge epic parties or little get-togethers; it doesn’t really matter. What’s important is that you’re taking the time to lead your social group in a way that makes people feel good about following your plans.
2. Dress Well to Convey Status
In social interactions, appearance is more important than substance initially. This is because, as much as we like to think of ourselves as fair-minded, humans do judge based on perception. In fact, as famed psychologist Robert Cialdini points out in his book Influence, when you wear a suit, you will automatically be perceived as having higher status and more authority than if you were wearing normal casual clothing.
This is because people imagine men in suits to be more powerful, confident, successful, and so on based on their own preconceived notions. The result? You can cause people to associate these traits with you – whether not you actually possess them – simply by dressing sharply!
3. The Role of Comfort in Attracting Women
While status is the driver for attracting women, it’s not enough to make women feel at ease around you. For that, you’ll need to build comfort.
Comfort is the sense of a physical and emotional connection between you in the girl. It fosters a sense of trust and makes the girl feel safe in your presence. While most guys who are learning how to attract women don’t need to worry about comfort right away, it’s still worth noting its importance. For now, put your focus on developing high-status, attractive traits but know that comfort is an equal part of the good game as well.
4. Developing Attractive, Masculine Traits
To become as attractive as possible, we want to develop high status, masculine polarity and comfort building traits while systematically rooting out all traces of low status and comfort destroying behavior. The way to do this is through repeated trial and error – that is, going out, approaching women, and making incremental improvements.
There will be failure. There will be rejection. If you’re not failing, that means you’re not pushing yourself nearly hard enough. Each failure represents a weakness being healed through practice. The faster you can fail and improve, the sooner you’ll be surrounded by badass, amazing women, looking back and thanking your past self for putting in the effort required for greatness. You’ve just been imbued with the knowledge on how to approach a girl.
So get hyped!
For practical advice on where to meet girls so you can practice developing these traits as well as what to say to them, check out our article “How To Meet Women & The Best Places To Meet Girls”.
Now go forth, be fruitful, and multiply.
I’m totally scared, when it comes to talking to a girl.
I’m 19 and I’ve never dated a woman; literally, you could say that I don’t know what it feels like to be in love with a girl. Because I don’t have a girlfriend, I always masturbate and I don’t it. Please, help me to experience what it feels like, to have a girlfriend.