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how to talk to a woman

How to talk to a woman – 5 Things you should NEVER say

Quit saying this to women, its a big turn off. When understanding how to talk to a woman, you don’t memorize and say everything. Instead, you keep it short, powerful, memorable. Less talk, less mistakes – and these are 5 things you should NEVER say to a woman.

HOW TO TALK TO A WOMAN
5 Things You Should Never Say to Her

Talking to girls shouldn’t be complex. When you want to master how to talk to women, you should always start with yourself, because its not about learning more things to say, its first learning what NOT to say in the first place.

Think about it, would you want to bombard her with all these useless words or lines only to increase your chances of turning her off? (If you keep yapping to her, sooner or later you’re going to say something that completely turns her off!) Or do you want to say the least amount of things with the maximum attraction effect?

All right, let the countdown begin with..

Number 5 – “Where do you want to go on our date?”

I know you’re thinking.. why not? It seems logical. I want to take her to a place that she wants to go so that she’s happy so that she enjoys the date. If I take her to her favorite place, it’s going to be a good date. She’s going to enjoy it.

And yes, logically, that makes sense.

But women don’t want to be the one who decides everything for the date. She wants you to do that. Have you ever heard that a woman likes a man with a plan? She wants a leader, a man who takes charge, who steps into his masculinity and leads the way.

Now, It doesn’t mean that you can’t allow her to make decisions or make choices. When it comes to picking the venue, you can definitely include her in that decision process, but just flat out asking her, “where do you want to go?” Or saying, “What’s your favorite place? I’ll take you.”

It just seems like you’re trying to impress her. It sounds like you have no plan. You have no clue of where to take a woman, which implies you haven’t been on a lot of dates and it’s coming from a place of pleasing. Of neediness.

Not only that, but it puts her in her masculine, which there’s nothing wrong with that, right? If she’s a CEO or something like that, she has to make a lot of decisions. And she’s in her masculine beingness when she’s at work. But when she’s on a date, she wants to be feminine. She just wants to be a long for your plan. She wants you to be a man and take charge. You be the leader. Now it’s fine to ask her, do you prefer this? Or do you prefer that maybe you love to take your dates to sushi and you want to find out if she has a fish allergy or not.

So find out relative information, but you be the one to decide where to go on the date.


Number 4 – “CAN I have your number?”


Asking her if you can have her number implies and presupposes that you don’t know if she’s attracted to you or not, which is why you’re asking the question – basically the definition of a lack of confidence: You don’t believe in yourself.

You don’t believe that this beautiful woman would be attracted to a guy like you. So you have to ask her if you can have her number. It sounds too nice. Again, it sounds like the logical thing to do, but it usually comes off as very unconfident.

Just remove the word “can”.

Instead of saying, “can I have your number” say either “let’s exchange numbers” or say “You seem cool. What’s your number?” When you say “what’s your number” or “let’s exchange numbers” it presupposes that you believe that she likes you, that you believe she’s going to give you her number.

She can still say no, just like if you asked her a question, but it just makes you seem a lot more sure of yourself. And on that note, make sure to say it with certainty.

If your tonality is going up and you see same uncertain she’s probably gonna say no. If you seem really uncertain, even if she gives you her number, when you say it like that, she’s probably not going to text you back.

As a side note, if she says no because she has a boyfriend, or she doesn’t feel comfortable or she doesn’t know you well enough to give out her number.. The main thing is to just remain calm. Don’t say, “why not?” Or start getting mad or upset. Just remain cool. Like it’s no big deal. And instead go for her social media.

Number 3 – “You are sooooo beautiful!!”

Now there’s nothing wrong with giving a woman a compliment and telling her she’s beautiful, gorgeous, stunning, cute, adorable, pretty.

But when you say it like “You are soOoOooo beautiful!” it literally looks like I’m putting her on pedestal. So the key with this phrase is that you say it with confidence, not like she’s above you.

When you give a woman a compliment, especially if that’s the way you’re going to open the conversation, which is a logical way to open a conversation, you should be direct and tell her the truth. The real reason why you’re there, women appreciate it. They appreciate your honesty. And they appreciate the courage that it takes to go do that. Plus if you beat around the Bush and use some indirect, weird pick up artist opener, she knows that you’re there because you’re attracted to her.

So it actually makes you appear less confident, so you have to say it the right way.

She can be attracted to you within seconds, even aroused. Now I know that sounds crazy. You walk up to a woman and tell her she’s beautiful. How is that going to actually make her turned on and aroused. Trust me, man. It can. And it does happen. It’s not every time of course, but oh man, when it does happen, you can feel the electricity. And it’s just pure fire.

Now in our live workshops, when we take guys in field, they pretty much always on day one, too much of that, “please like me” energy and women can feel that and they appreciate the compliment, nevertheless. But of course it’s not a super solid interaction where the girls was melting in front of them.

Until we bring in models and practice the approach over and over again and transform that neediness, “Please like me kind of energy” to “I want you, but I’m cool if I can’t have you” kind of energy. And then it’s literally like night and day, when they start approaching, after they do the model work, you can see the reaction of the women that they approach completely change instead of a nice, like, “Oh thank you for the compliment.” It becomes her amazed and steamy “Wow. Thank you.” And of course, when you see those kinds of reactions over and over again, it’s going to increase your own confidence when it comes to approaching.

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Number 2 – “Can I buy you a drink?”

Hear me out. There’s nothing wrong with buying a woman a drink at a bar, even if you just met her.. But saying that as the first thing that you say to her as your conversation starter is not a good idea because it creates the frame that you’re paying for her time or paying for her attention, which puts your value down and hers up right from the start – which is not the dynamic you want.

If you want to talk to her, just go talk to her. Don’t send her a drink from across the bar or go over and say, “Hey, can I buy you a drink?” You don’t know anything about her. Why the heck would you even want to buy her a drink? It’s kind of like saying “Here! here’s some money! Can I buy five minutes of your time?

No, no, no, never do that. Now. Maybe you’ve done it in the past and you say, “Hey, it works. She talked to me afterwards!” but trust me, man, she didn’t like you. A woman in her twenties is probably not going to say no to a free drink.

So then should you even buy a woman to drink at all? Well, yeah, definitely IF you want to, and IF you’re not using it as a bargaining chip. If you want to get a drink yourself and it’s just the customary thing to do, it’s the social norm to say, “Hey, I’m going to get a drink at the bar, You want one?

There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s even a good way to just move things further by just moving her from one place where you met her to the bar. Cause if she moves away from her friends and comes with you to the bar, then it’s just you and her. You can have a more intimate conversation and make a deeper connection with her.

Number 1 – “Can I kiss you?”

Again, just like asking for her phone number, it’s presupposing that you don’t believe she would be attracted to you, which shows you that you’re just not confident in yourself that you don’t believe women should like you.

I understand why you might do this because you’re trying to save face.

You don’t want to go for a kiss and then she’s turns her head or just says she’s not ready yet. And then it creates all that awkward tension because maybe you just don’t know if it’s the right time to go for it or not. So I get that. Sure.

I’ve gone for the kiss many times and it was the wrong situation, but who cares? It’s better to go for the kiss out of the blue and her say, no, I’m not ready yet or her turn her head or just back up. Know that you’re a man knowing that you go for what you want. In this case, it’s her. Instead of her seeing you as weak and the kind of guy who asks for permission every time he wants to do something, “Can, can I kiss you? “

AND no, no, that definitely doesn’t mean force yourself upon her in any way. Always make sure she’s comfortable. And if you want to go for the kiss, you don’t want to do it out of the blue. You want to say something just to know her and see if she’s ready.

Then instead of asking “can I kiss you” you could just tell her, what do you want to do? Say, “You know, kind of want to kiss you right now.” And just notice her reaction if it’s anything other than no, no, no. Then slowly move forward and go for it. Or you could ask her if she’s a good kisser. “I bet you’re not even a good kisser, but I’m tempted to find out.” And if she says, no, you could still say, “Well, then you need to work on it and still go for the kiss.

You could also ask her if she would like to kiss you, which is a lot more powerful. It presupposes that you think she likes you and you think she wants to kiss you, which presupposes that you believe she wants to kiss you. And if she says, yes, obviously kiss her. If she says, I don’t know, say, “well, let’s find out” and slowly go in for a kiss. And if she says no, then you could just say, well, it seemed like you wanted to, or it seemed like you had something on your mind and then just change the subject.

And by the way, if you ever lean in for a kiss and she pulls away, or you say one of those statements to kind of prime the kiss and she doesn’t seem ready yet, it’s no big deal. It doesn’t mean necessarily that she doesn’t like you. It just means she’s not ready yet. So just don’t be all emotionally affected. Don’t complain about it. Don’t get angry about it and just change the subject, move on. And then try again later that might be later in that date or that might be on the next day.


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Understand that your conversation is immensely important for attraction, because when you get her attention, and you have her in front of you – what you say to women will make or break your chances of getting the attraction right.

You can either attract her with what you have to say, or absolutely turn her off. Which is why Matt and the team has always focused on conversations as part of the crucial attraction triggers – how to talk to women the right way.

Don’t forget to like and subscribe for more weekly content!

STOP being needy

How To Silence The Inner B*tch Voice Inside Your Mind [3 Ways to STOP Being a Needy Person]

Do you get a voice in your head? Do you ever get a voice in your head? Has this ever happened? Man.. You ever get it to talk to you really loud and obnoxiously and call you all sorts of incredibly mean things and tell you all the things that you can’t do?

It’s not going to go away until you learn how to either not listen to it, not buy into it, or how to silence it more and more and more so that it gets weaker.

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How To Silence The Inner B*tch Voice Inside Your Mind
[3 Ways to STOP Being a Needy Person]

Your boy Jules Bia, mind science, dating coach with The Attractive Man team here. I’m going to be give you three life-changing tips today that are going to absolutely transform that little inner b*tch that is stopping you from going and doing and having him being the things you want in your life.

I know what it’s like to have an insane mind. Okay. Back in the day, like I said, it’s still, it’s still true today. Okay. I just got more control over it. My mind said so many negative things to me all the time that it was in a state of radio silence in a state of numbness. And it wasn’t until I really started diving deep into that, pulling up all those streams of thinking, pulling up all those really heavy feelings and surrendering them and disidentifying from all these stories and these thoughts that I was telling myself that I really started to make changes in my life.

I used to go out to the club for years wanting to talk to women when I was in high school and in college, I was fine, but I started getting in my twenties and kind of going my own way. Cause you don’t have, everybody goes to their own way after school? You know, you have some friends and stuff, but all the, all the groups break up, I would go out with the intention to talk to women and I would never talk to women. I was so numb in the club. I had no idea why I had no idea. I was like, what’s wrong with me? But at the end of the night, I’m at home with my D**k in my hand, literally.

All right, I’m sorry about THAT thought. But it sucked. It really did. Um, I didn’t know what it was and it wasn’t until I really started looking, you know, I would go into these environments like a club and I would look close my eyes and look, and just start to try to become more and more aware of the thoughts.

More and more aware of how much the inner bitch was crippling me. And here’s the secret guys. The inner bitch IS NOT REAL. It’s just a series of thoughts and feelings. Feelings are what trigger the thinking. I’m going to give you the first tip and it is so, so, so powerful. And this is going to create more self awareness. So here it is right here. First of all, I need you to subscribe. Okay? I need you to click that big red subscribe button. Cause if you don’t, if you don’t see my future videos, I’m going to miss you. Matt’s going to miss you, everybody on The Attractive Man team’s gonna miss you. So click that subscribe button, hit the like button and hit all notifications so that we never miss each other, right?

Turn “I can’t” into “I can”

Tip is really, really simple. Guys, turn your I can’t into an I can.

Anything you don’t have right now is most likely an I can’t, it might not be, it might be an I can. That’s in the process of becoming an I have, but it’s most likely an I can. It was like when I was going into the club, for example, and not talking to a single freaking woman. Even though that’s what I desperately wanted inside.

That was a very heavy I can’t. So first of all, start saying I can, because I can’t is not just one emotion, by the way. It’s apathy, grief, fear, less anger. That’s all I can’t — apathy, grief, fear, lust, anger, pride are all variations of I can’t and they are lighter versions of I CANT, right? Courage is when you start saying I can’t.

Somebody that wanted to come into my new inner transformation program, unshakable, which has been going incredible by the way..

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And he’s like, “Jules.. I really want to be in your program. I don’t have the money. Ah, man, like what do I do?” I was like, first of all, I want you to do it starts saying I can. And here’s the reason guys, as soon as you say I can’t, and it’s an automatic conditioned reflex. As soon as you say, I can’t.. the opportunity to get when you actually want, it could be really literally right in your vicinity would be that obvious.

But as soon as you say, I can’t, you, you put blinders on no matter how obvious the way to get that thing is it’s literally right within your reach. But the I can’t blinds you. So start saying I can, when I coach them and start saying, I can, I said, I just want you to keep saying all day, I can get this money. I can get this money.. Say it, say it, say it, say it, say it! He started seeing opportunities everywhere to get the money, to get into our program.

It’s powerful stuff. Just literally saying I can, no matter what I want you to say, I can, even if it feels like a lie, say I can all the time. And, but in your mind, because you open your reticular activating system, which is the part of your mind that focuses on things. It’s like the RAS is like, when you, when you learn a new word, right, that you’ve never heard before. And then you hear that same word, like three times that week, that’s using your RAS research it.. Your reticular activating system. It’s very powerful to utilize and you can utilize the power and magnetizes the things you want to you just by starting to say I can’t.

So keep saying I can. Don’t listen to that inner bi*ch.

Give your Inner B*tch a Nickname

Number two is kind of funny. Pretty damn awesome. And I learned this one from one of my favorite books written by David Hawkins, letting go, and it is give your inner critic, your inner bitch, a nickname. Don’t give us something like b*tch or, or like something really negative. Give it a cute nickname and use it all the time. Oh, that’s nice. Uh, David suggests fluffy and I just use fluffy. Cause I think that’s hilarious. I call my ego, my inner critic, fluffy.

Oh really? Fluffy. That’s thank you so much. And I talked to him like this is a little child. You’re so cute. Thanks for trying to help out. And you start taking that voice a lot less seriously. And you’ll also start noticing that when you do this constantly, you just allow it to say whatever it wants to say and express it.

So you’ll start actually noticing it dissolve. I had been in a very, very intense, emotional spin. I was about three and a half years ago. I’m going into a down spin. And I started saying, I remembered in the midst of this, that voice that was really beating me down, beating me up, was named fluffy.

I was like, Oh, fluffy, Oh, I forgot your name. I’m so sorry. Fluffy. Did I hurt your feelings? Did I hurt your feelings? Fluffy? I’m so sorry. This intense, emotional down spin that would usually have me at that point in my life. Probably depressive and messed up for, for a day or two. Right? You know what I’m talking about? You know, those downs spins that we go through. It dissolved. It was, it was unbelievable. I mean, this is just an easy way to take your inner critic, your inner b*tch, less and less and less serious.

And the less seriously you take it, you build that habit of not taking it so seriously. It’s going to have less and less power over you. And as you welcome it and you allow it, it just loses energy. It’s like a little child having a temper tantrum in a toy store. You just let it go and you let it go and you let it go. And you let it go. And eventually it runs out of energy and it disappears.

Hey bro, do you like these tips? Did you subscribe yet? Cause you’re going to make me really disappointed if you didn’t subscribe, you know what? The inner b*tch is starting to talk — I’m just kidding. Make sure you subscribe, man. Don’t miss this stuff. Ding, the bell like this video. Cause obviously you like my style. That’s been established. All right. My tips are fire.

That’s not so secret. I and David vibe have been running a brand new inner transformation program. So if you like these kind of mind science tips, if you want to learn how to get better and better and better with getting your emotions handled, changing your relationship to your emotions.. Understanding, knowing yourself deeper, loving yourself deeper.. Because you cannot have the quality women that you so desire until you get self esteem, stuff handled and still you get the self doubt handled it’s all in the mind. And in our reality is created in the mind. Make sure you sign up in the link below for a free masterclass and emotional freedom masterclass that I’m doing. That’s going to give you the number one process is simple technique that has transformed my life from welfare in a moldy basement room to the free and really damn cool life I live now.

So make sure you sign up in the link below. Do it now. While you still listen to my wonderful voice.

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Disidentifying

Give you tip number three. Cause you’ve come the distance, my friend. The third tip is so gloriously powerful. Are you ready? It’s disidentifying from the inner b*tch.

Disidentifying. What does that mean? It means that these thoughts in here? This right here, it’s not actually you, it’s not. You’re going to be like what? Of course it’s me, all these thoughts. All my life have been me. No, it’s not.

You want to bet that it’s not. You close your eyes right now with me. Look at your thoughts right now. Are you those thoughts or are you the awareness of those thoughts? I want you to look right now here in the present moment. Are you the thoughts in your mind or are you the awareness of those thoughts?

How can you be the thoughts if you’re also aware of them? If you’re an analytical guy, bro, just look, don’t try to figure it out. Don’t try to think more thoughts. If I pinch you, do you have to think to feel pain? No. So close your eyes. Are you the thoughts or even the feelings in your stomach and your chest right now, look at those or are you the awareness of them? And what happens when you notice that you’re the awareness of them?

Because you are the awareness of them. Trust me, no matter how much you think you are, the thoughts I’m going to give you the science behind it. It’s not really science, but I’m going to logically explain why you are your awareness and not your thoughts and why. The more you realize that every single day, the more you tap in and you keep checking and it’s in the checking.

It’s in the actual looking. If you’re the thoughts in the awareness, you intellectually know the answer now. The more you do that, the less you identify with this mind and the more power you will have over actually transforming your thinking, transforming your life because you won’t identify with this stuff anymore.

Now the logic behind this is very simple. So your thoughts are the object and you are the subject. There’s a subject object relationship between your awareness, which is what you really are and the thoughts. And the more you realize this, the more you experience this, the more you really step into this by just doing the simple habit.

Am I these thoughts or feelings? Am I this inner b*tch? Or am I that? Which is aware of the inner bitch? Am I the inner bitch or the awareness of the inner bitch? Right?

Then whatever is happening out there.. You start not taking so seriously.

It could be a terrible problem. And you’re spinning and you’re spinning. You’re like, wait, am I this problem that I, this are the mighty thoughts? Or am I the awareness of them? Boom! Starts releasing. It starts softening up and then you can get your mind right. Solve the problem. So you could get your grind tight.

So it’s really, really simple. It might be complex if you’re a really analytical guy, it’s really not that complicated. You close your eyes or you can keep them open and just notice right now, are you the thoughts? Are you even this body, are you this body or are you the awareness of the body?

Because we also believe we’re a body. I can go down a deep philosophical rabbit hole. And if you would like me to do deep philosophical rabbit hole talks, make sure you comment that below because I would love to make those videos what to make sure that our audience likes them kind of stuff.

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You get your mind, right? You go get your grind type, get on that. So make sure you stay connected with us. Here is my Instagram. I am going to start building it and make sure guys, you check out this free gift that I have for you. I’ve got my self esteem explosion guided releasing meditation in a link below, download it. You can listen to it every day. You’re going to love yourself more and more. And at the end of this meditation, it has a part where you’re going to release more and more of the stories in your mind about women that you believe you can’t have, or you’re not good enough for whatever the hell it is. It’s very powerful. It’s designed with original music, binaural beats. It’s really cool, download it below. Make sure you do make sure if you want to learn more about the inner transformational program that I have Unshakable, make sure you book a call with my team in the link below.

And if you would like to learn the process that transformed my life so profoundly, make sure you sign up for my free emotional freedom masterclass in the link below. Like I said, it brought me from this, this, this method brought me from welfare, living in a stinky moldy basement room to the really cool life I’ve had an enjoy now. My whole story is in there. All the, all the accolades I got like the, the stations that I got, the companies that I went to, the, the advances is really cool. As you know, I’m entertaining. You’re going to have a lot of fun. Make sure you sign up for that. And with that said, this Jules Bia. Make sure you subscribe, like, ding that bell and I’m out!

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