These are signs you’re too much of a “nice guy” that women start disrespecting you instead of getting attracted to you:
5 Signs You’re Being Too Much of a Nice Guy
Unlike the belief that most people have that women don’t like nice guys, the truth is that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with being a nice or kind person. The problem only arises when you become too much of a nice guy.
Too much of everything is generally not good, and best believe that being too nice comes with its own long list of negative side effects, especially to your relationships with women. In fact, being too nice can be traced to a deep-seated fear of rejection and abandonment, which is not at all healthy for you to have if you want to radiate masculine energy. It’s absolutely impossible for someone who is excessively nice to have a strong and attractive personality.
The only women that will be interested in dating that sort of man are the ones who want to take advantage of his selflessness. And when this happens, it can leave you feeling burnt out or even lead to a feeling of resentment towards all women. The good news is; no matter how long you’ve had this “Mr. Nice Guy” trait, it’s not too late to make a change.
The first step is recognizing that you need this change in the first place. And that’s exactly what today’s video is for because I’m going to be highlighting the most important signs that clearly indicate that you’re too much of a nice guy.
1. You’re Being Too Agreeable
Being agreeable isn’t a bad quality on its own. Psychological studies usually describe an agreeable person as someone who craves social harmony. But unfortunately, this usually goes hand in hand with the desire to be liked or understood.
This is why agreeable people are usually too nice. They agree to tasks that they don’t even have time to do or opinions that they don’t even believe, thinking that if they please others, it somehow makes them better people. But unfortunately, being too agreeable often does the opposite and makes people treat you worse. The fact is, if you’re too eager to agree to and validate everything a woman says to you, she’s not going to be attracted to you.
Besides the fact that she can be put off when she sees you trying too hard to curry favor, this sort of behavior leads to you becoming a pushover. A pushover does not have the level of confidence and masculinity that women find irresistible.
2. Being Wowed By Everything She Says
So she tells you she’s a pet mortician and you go, “Wow! Really?! No way!! You get to see dead cats and dogs every day; that’s so cool “
Please guys, never do that again. It’s unattractive and, quite frankly, very embarrassing.
What you’re effectively doing there is putting her on an unnecessary pedestal, and you’re relegating yourself to the background. You’re basically saying, “You’re so interesting and cool, I’m basically a dud compared to you.” And no woman wants to date a dud. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t compliment women or be interested in what she does.
But there’s absolutely no need to be overly impressed by it. You’re interesting too. You have all these cool things going on in your life. Present that By the time you unconsciously put her at the center of the relationship, you strip off your masculinity, and before you know it, all your thoughts and actions will be centered around making her happy at all costs and neglecting your own needs.
3. Not Taking Enough Initiatives
If you’re one of those guys that wait for the woman to say she wants something before you do it, chances are you’ve not had that much success in your love life. That’s because you’re too nice.
Not taking the initiative is actually one of the signs you’re a nice guy (the kind that women don’t get attracted to).
It’s almost like you can’t think for yourself. Now I’m not saying that you should just jump to intimacy when she doesn’t want it. No, there’s a place for consent. Besides, you don’t want to create awkward scenarios for yourself. But, if you’re waiting to get some big sign from her that it’s time to escalate the interaction or communicate your intent with her, trust me, you’re never going to get it.
Worse still, if you always ask for her permission when you want to make a move, she’s going to lose interest faster than you can blink. Again, consent is key when you want to get to some level of intimacy.
But at the same time, you don’t want to be the guy that always goes,
“Can I kiss you?”
“Can I hold your hand?”
“Can I wipe the sauce off your front lip?”
“Can I lightly brush my leg against yours to heighten the sexual tension?”
Even if you don’t take it that far, and I know you definitely don’t, not taking the initiative in your relationship with a woman puts her in charge of the relationship. A healthy relationship doesn’t have a woman fully in charge, except if it’s a lesbian relationship, of course.
So be bold with your advances, and let her know what you want from her. Or you can keep being the nice guy and get stuck in the friend zone with every girl you meet.
4. Doing Huge Favors for When the Relationship Hasn’t Warranted That Yet
Now you may read this one and go, “Well, what’s wrong with that? I’m just trying to not be a jerk.” Bro, everything is wrong with that. It’s actually one of the HUGE signs you’re a nice guy.
If you just met her last week, you definitely don’t want to be watching her dog for her or helping her fix her plumbing. Save all that for someone you’re in a relationship with.
And it’s even worse if you offer to do those things for her without her even asking for it first. Why? That sort of behavior lowers your value in her mind without her even knowing it. In her mind, she’s thinking you’re the sort of guy that has nothing more important to do with your time than helping every Emma, Leah, or Ashley that asks you for a big favor.
Beyond that, women can tell when there’s an ulterior motive behind your good deeds.
She knows that she doesn’t know well enough for her to ask you to edit her term paper for her, so for you to offer to do it voluntarily, then you must want something in return. Then, in your quest to be good and noble, you end up being a creep in her mind, and you lose all your chances with her. So focus on yourself and your own life. Save those favors until you know that she deserves them.
5. You Let Her Get Away With Treating You Like Crap
She comes late to your date, she always flakes on you, she makes snide comments about you to other people, she only calls you to ask for favors or vent about things, she doesn’t respect you, and somehow you’re still tolerating all these things from her.
You’ve made the biggest nice guy mistake anyone can ever make. Don’t make excuses for her; she knows exactly what she’s doing when she does it.
She knows it’s not okay to treat anyone like that, but you have made it permissible for her to do so because you don’t expect to get anything better. You won’t get yourself a happy, healthy relationship when you do this – that’s if you even get a relationship at all. Instead, you’ll be building up hurt and unprocessed anger in your mind that can eventually flare up into a fit of rage or debilitating depression.
Instead of letting it go and avoiding the inevitable confrontation, try standing up for yourself. You don’t have to be rude or aggressive, just communicate clearly and directly that her behavior is unacceptable. Express yourself in a way that leaves no room for misinterpretation.
Chances are she’ll understand and adjust her behavior. But even if she doesn’t and she insists that she’s not at fault, she’ll definitely respect you for growing a backbone and calling her out on her shit.
So there you have it. These are the 5 signs that you have been way too nice to her and your relationship is not going to go the way you want it to. These 5 signs you’re a nice guy are actually as common as you think..and are happening to millions of men worldwide. If you can identify yourself with any, or even all, of these signs; don’t lose all hope in ever building a fruitful relationship.
It’s mostly not your fault; it’s just how society has wired men these days. The good news is, it’s not too late to make a huge turnaround. And you don’t have to go to the other extreme and be a jerk all in the name of dropping your “nice guy” persona either.
Just remember; in your pursuit to discover the signs you’re a nice guy in order to avoid being one… prioritize your own needs so you’re not caught up trying to fix everything for someone else.
Set boundaries and non-negotiables in your relationship, be honest in your opinions and beliefs, practice saying no, and make sure to stand up for yourself and point it out when you feel someone is not treating you with respect. Try putting these to practice the next time the occasion demands, it gets easier after the first time you do it, trust me.