I interviewed gorgeous models, girls at the beach, and even a sex therapist to discover what makes the perfect first date. Just follow the three steps I reveal in this video to create a deep connection, and she’ll almost always want to come home with you.
Plan it. Don’t spend three weeks working up to the first date and then ask 20 questions on the day of: “What do you want to do? What do you want to do?” Instead, take charge. Show that you can plan at least the first date. It doesn’t matter what you do—it could be a simple walk. If there’s a strong connection, amazing conversation, and sparks, that’s a perfect date.
Now, creating a connection requires three key steps:
Step 1: Set the tone from the beginning.
When I first started dating, I was awkward, nervous, and unsure whether to hug or shake hands. To overcome this, I began arriving early to dates and warming up by talking to strangers. By the time my date arrived, I was relaxed and confident. I’d greet her with a warm smile, a hug, and a kiss on the cheek, setting the right tone.
Even if she starts off a bit awkward, like giving a side hug, your calm and composed demeanor will help her feel comfortable. Also, keep in mind the type of date you choose. A short coffee date can feel more platonic, whereas a longer evening date creates a romantic vibe. For daytime dates, I’ll grab coffee with her but then say, “Let’s go for a walk,” offering my arm. This turns the date into a more interactive experience.
Step 2: Create an experience with multiple venues.
Going to multiple venues makes the date feel like a series of mini-dates. Each location becomes a unique memory, making the overall experience more memorable. For example, instead of staying at one place, I’ll take her to a coffee shop, then a cozy pub for a drink, and later to a spot with a completely different vibe, like a rooftop bar or a fun activity.
When I lived in London, I would start by meeting at Starbucks, then lead her to a pub for one drink, followed by a posh hotel lounge with daybeds for intimate conversation, a quick visit to a lively club for a few dances, and maybe end with a quirky adult store for playful roleplay. By the end of the date, we’d shared multiple experiences, making it feel like we’d known each other much longer.
Step 3: Make a move.
If you don’t initiate any romantic gestures, such as subtle touches, meaningful eye contact, or going for a kiss, the date may feel more like a friendship. Women often look for a man to take the lead.
If you prefer to take things slower due to personal beliefs or morals, that’s fine—but communicate it. For instance, you could say, “I’d love to kiss you, but I have a rule about not kissing on the first date.” This shows confidence and intention, making her respect your decision rather than assuming you’re hesitant or uninterested.
Similarly, if things heat up but you don’t want to take her home, be honest: “I’d love to, but I think it’s better to wait.” This approach can actually increase her attraction, as it demonstrates self-control and confidence.
Confidence is key.
Ultimately, the success of a date depends on how comfortable and confident you are in your own skin. Women can sense insecurity, so if you know you need to work on letting go of fears, self-doubt, or limiting beliefs, it’s worth investing in yourself.
If you’re ready to transform into the most confident, attractive version of yourself, click the link below. My team and I will help you work through any blind spots and become the best version of yourself—both in dating and in life.