Being able to connect with people regularly, even those that you’ve just met, and getting them to open up to you is so incredibly important.
Besides the fact that it satisfies one of your basic social needs as a human being, it’s also what elevates your life.
Perfecting this kind of communication can help you make the kind of money you’ve always wanted to, get you where you wanna go in your career, and of course, get you the relationship with the girl you like.
And yes, it’s totally possible to connect with someone on a deep level, even if you just met them.
Sure, small talk is great and all, but you can’t expect to build a personal and intimate relationship with someone if all your communication stays on a surface level alone.
And today, I’m gonna show you all the steps you need to take to move from being a stranger to someone they’re comfortable enough to share their secrets within a matter of minutes.
So pay attention, man, and put all the tips to work.
and watch yourself build strong personal relationships with anyone in a matter of minutes.
YOUR SHADOWY SIDE
How to create a deep connection with anyone you meet?
Now, before we get into the specific steps that I wanna share, I do wanna get some things out first.
The fact is most people have a shadowy side of themselves that they only reveal to a few select people.
And you can only really say that you’ve established a truly deep connection with a person if you can find your way to those shadow parts of the person.
And… the higher the level of vulnerability the person is willing to open up and show you, the higher your chances at creating a deep and lasting relationship with this person.
But before you even set out to get someone to really open up to you, you gotta make sure that you’re really ready for it.
Because a lot of people carry deep issues and trauma, and it can get a little emotionally draining when they pour all that out to you.
And if you’re not ready to handle other people’s trauma, you know, that’s totally fine.
Just don’t encourage them to tell you.
But if you think you can handle it and you’ve gotten them to trust you, to tell you all these deep things about themselves, then never take advantage of the things that they told you.
That is literally the shittiest thing that you could do to a person.
ESTABLISH A CONDUCIVE, COMFORTABLE SPACE
Now, the very first thing that you want to do in your interaction, if your goal is to establish a deep connection with them, is to create a conducive, comfortable space for a private talk.
Obviously, you can’t expect someone to open up to you and spill their guts to you if they’re not even comfortable.
She’s not going to want to stand in front of a crowded room and announce embarrassing things about herself. Most people don’t feel comfortable talking about their private lives to multiple people all at once.
Even if it’s their closest friends.
Ideally, you want the conversation to be face-to-face and in private.
Maybe you meet up at a nearby coffee shop or take a walk outside.
Just make sure the venue makes you both feel able to speak freely and express any and all emotions.
Next is a crucial way to encourage someone to really open up to you. which is actively listening.
actively listening
This is something that the person you’re talking to will unconsciously look for to see if you’re even interested in what they have to say or not.
It’s sort of a defense mechanism to make sure that they don’t get hurt or embarrassed by the interaction.
So, you have to really make sure that everything about yourself communicates that you’re truly listening and that you’re present in the conversation because they’re going to be subconsciously picking up on everything from your body language to your facial expressions to the words you say even the words you don’t say.
Also, let your whole demeanor convey focus and attention to what they’re trying to tell you, and don’t use too many generic filler comments things like “yeah, oh cool” because they communicate to the person that you’re distracted.
the power of platonic touch
The next step to establishing a deep connection with anyone you meet and a lot of people discount this but let’s talk about the power of platonic touch during the interaction.
Try to create as many points of physical contact as you can by things like shaking hands, high fives, if that’s appropriate, or hugging, pats on the back, squeezes on the hand or the arm.
Obviously, it has to be in context, it has to make sense or else you’ll just come off as a weirdo.
When you do this, you reduce the sense of separation that you had between each other because you wanna have physical contact to complement the growing emotional connection between you.
GO beyond the superficial
Next, it’s Super important to make sure to venture beyond the superficial, like asking about the weather, asking about where they’re from or how their day is going.
You have to go beyond simple chit-chat, because if you stick to those nice, safe topics, you’re never going to really connect with that person and see them for who they really are.
And the easiest way to deepen the conversation is to take the lead and reveal something about yourself.
You don’t even have to get too personal at first.
You can start by just talking about things that you’re passionate about.
But most of the time, if you start to open up, then the other person will eventually take the lead and start revealing more and more personal information about themselves.
Then all you have to do is start asking more intimate questions.
These intimate questions will start really helping them to open up and reveal what makes them tick.
what makes them feel certain ways or what they’ve gone through in life and how all of that has made them who they are now.
If you want to see some examples, by the way, make sure to download my free approach blueprint where I show you the best, most effective, and quickest way to approach a woman in nearly any situation, spark instant and natural attraction with her, and keep the conversation going.
So just in a matter of a minute or two, you can not only start building a connection, but you can even start getting her to start chasing you.
And because it works so well, you can actually get a date with her, an instant date right there on the spot within two or three minutes.
So make sure to download it, man.
emotionally charged follow-up questions
Now, The next step to establishing a deep connection with anyone you meet
If they’re starting to open up a little bit, begin asking emotionally charged follow-up questions.
Things like, how did that make you feel?
What inspired you to do that? What’s your favorite thing about that?
Get to know what made that experience such a defining moment for them.
Trust me, they’re not going to get upset about you asking. In fact, they’ll usually be very relieved or impressed that they found someone who’s interested in really trying to understand them.
And when they’ve opened up to you like this, get them to keep going by showing them that you really understand them.
This step goes way beyond just hearing the words coming out of their mouth, even beyond just listening to the sentences that they’re saying to really show them that you understand the thought that they’re trying to communicate.
Say for instance, if a girl is telling you about how she felt manipulated by her ex because he was always guilt-tripping her into doing whatever he wanted, you could show her that you understand her by just saying, so he always made you feel guilty just for not doing what he wanted.
Man, that must’ve felt manipulative.
Really.
All you did is reword what she said to you and relate it back to her, but she’s going to get so excited that somebody really understands what she went through and she’s immediately going to feel connected to you.
point out the similarities
The next step to establishing a deep connection with anyone you meet is to point out any similarities that you find between the two of you.
So if you find that you have similar behaviors, similar thought patterns, similar reactions or similar experiences, make sure to mention it.
People feel way more connected when they feel that they share something with someone.
But when you’re doing this, make sure you don’t interrupt them and try to relate to everything they’re saying.
Not only does it interrupt their flow and focus, but it’ll likely come off as really contrived.
validate people’s emotions
And lastly, probably most importantly, is validate people’s emotions when they share them with you.
All your effort in trying to create closeness between you two and getting to know them beyond the surface will be useless if you don’t do this.
Validation simply means showing the other person that you understand their experience and that their emotions about them are justified.
This takes a certain level of empathy and maturity that you’re going to need to build. You really don’t want to be judging them for feeling the way they feel or acting the way they did.
You’ll lose connection if you do that. And you definitely don’t need to come up with a solution or practical advice for problems or challenges that they tell you especially if it’s a girl telling you her problems She doesn’t want you to fix the man.
She just wants to vent.
She just wants to feel like you understand her and that you validate her right to have the emotions that she has.
Now, As I mentioned earlier make sure to download my free approach Blueprint so you know exactly how to put all this into practice, so when you see a woman in any situation, you know how to confidently walk up to her.
With the Blueprint, You’ll know exactly what to say to spark attraction and you know how to create that connection quickly and even get her to start chasing you.
And trust me, when you do this the right way, which I show you in the approach blueprint, you’ll be able to get an instant date with her right there on the spot in a matter of two or three minutes.
So make sure to download it, man.
My name’s Matt Artisan from the Attractive Man coaching team.
Make sure to check out our entire coaching schedule around the world.
And I hope to see you at a workshop soon.