Most men can look at an attractive woman and start fantasizing, but for women, it’s totally different. You need to stimulate her mind first if you want to turn her on. As a dating coach for the last 15 years, I’ve tested countless phrases to discover what turns women on the most. The following five phrases sneak into her thoughts and spark deep desire—almost obsession. Watch until the end to learn exactly what to say, from the first time you meet her to the moments that lead to the bedroom, building her desire step by step.
Phrase #1: “You are [ __ ] sexy.”
This phrase can turn her on immediately when you first meet her—if you say it the right way. It doesn’t even have to be those exact words. Any compliment will work, like “You are absolutely gorgeous,” or even, “I had to meet you.” What matters is how you say it.
If you approach her and simply say, “Hi, you’re beautiful. What’s your name?” it will have no effect. That’s the same as saying, “Hey, I like your handbag.” The key is to give her what I call the look of desire. She needs to feel your intention—your sexual energy.
Now, this isn’t about being creepy or looking her up and down like she’s a piece of meat. It’s about showing genuine desire, and when done right, it makes women melt. This is why we bring in models to our live workshops, helping guys practice until they can spark attraction almost instantly.
When you master this, it’s like having a superpower. Women will feel turned on—sometimes even aroused—within seconds of meeting you. This is thanks to mirror neurons, a principle similar to emotional contagion. The way you feel inside is contagious, so when you’re turned on by her, she feels turned on too. Women are most attracted to being desired by a confident, powerful, and masculine man.
Phrase #2: “I want to take you on a date. When are you free?”
This subtle yet powerful phrase ensures you don’t fall into the friend zone. Say it either through text or, even better, in person.
Its simplicity is its strength. Women want a man who says exactly what he wants and leads the interaction. They don’t want a guy who texts all day without asking them out. Many men avoid making their intentions clear, fearing rejection, but isn’t the whole point of texting her to get a date?
Ask her out sooner rather than later. Better yet, suggest an instant date right then and there. At our workshops, clients frequently get instant dates just by using this approach.
Phrase #3: The “Inception Text”
This phrase makes her subconsciously think about pleasing you with her sexuality. Tell her what to wear on the date—specifically, something sexy.
Women want to be led, so give clear directions, including the time, place, and what to wear. Of course, this has to fit the context. For example, if you’re going roller skating, don’t ask her to wear a skirt. But when she wears a skirt or dress, she feels sexier and more feminine. It also makes intimacy easier if things progress.
Phrase #4: “I want to [ __ ], but that would be bad.”
Fill in the blank with something you want to do to her—kiss her, take her home, or explore her body. For example, “I really want to kiss you right now, but that would be bad. We can’t.”
This works because it’s confident and shows her exactly what you want. At the same time, it’s flirty and fun because you create a playful barrier. Anytime someone is told “no,” they naturally want to overcome it.
However, context is key. Don’t use this in the first 20 minutes of a coffee date. Save it for when there’s already mutual attraction.
Phrase #5: “We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.”
This phrase works wonders when things start heating up, especially if she pulls back. Say it sincerely and mean it.
This makes her feel safe, respected, and in control. It shows that you’re not forceful and that you won’t get upset if she wants to stop. Most importantly, it builds trust.
Interestingly, when a woman feels safe and knows she can stop at any time, she’s often more likely to move forward. That feeling of safety and trust, especially when she’s vulnerable, can be enough to deepen intimacy.
By the way, if you want my help, I’m giving away three of my best programs for free. Plus, you’ll get weekly coaching calls and access to a community of like-minded men. Join The Forge today using the link in the description or on the screen. See you inside!