Here’s another tip to master how to talk to women! Now, I’m dancing with this beautiful girl, and things start to get heated… So I invite her to grab a bite to eat with me and she says:
“I can’t leave my friends”
Has something like this ever happened to you?
What went wrong?
Usually, when it seems like a girl is totally into you, yet doesn’t commit to that next step, it’s because you didn’t successfully handle her objections. We’ll cover this problem today and you’ll soon discover how to talk to women when they usually say no.
Because of the double standard in our society, most girls will say no to your advances so that they don’t look or feel like a “slut.”
They may want to go with you but often, girls feel they can’t make it too easy for you because of that double standard.
If you think back to when you wanted to bring a girl home, 9 times out of 10 you heard some objection. “I can’t leave because of my friends,” “I work early,” “I don’t want to stay out late,” “how far is your place,” and the list goes on.
The mistake most guys make is they take these objections at face value when in reality, that’s when the game begins.
Very rarely will you get that perfect pull where the girl follows you straight to your place!
Let me ask you a question. If you know that 9 times out of 10, the girl will give you objections, have you prepared an answer beforehand?
If no, then that might be why you’re not getting as many phone numbers, dates and beautiful women in your bed as you really could.
How To Talk To Women: How to turn “No” into a “Yes”
The best place to start is by first understanding the mindset of a girl you’re trying to pull. And by pull, I mean leading her to the next location. That could be a nearby coffee shop, bar or your place.
Here are the typical concerns girls have when going somewhere new with a guy they just met:
- They don’t want to travel very far
- They don’t want to feel unsafe
- They don’t want to feel uncomfortable
- They don’t want to be in a situation where things are awkward 1 on 1
- They want to make sure that they are going to have fun
- They don’t want to get stuck at your house
Whatever objection a girl gives you, usually the root lies in one of these concerns.
It’s like when a friend asks you to go somewhere, so you make up a “white lie” to avoid the awkwardness of telling the real reason you don’t want to go.
Rather than a girl saying, “hey I just met you and don’t feel comfortable being alone with you yet,” she’ll say, “oh I can’t leave my friends.“
To successfully overcome her objections, you have to answer her root objection, not her surface level objection.
Over time, I figured out how to talk to women because I learned that an objection will almost always come. I make sure to come prepared. I already memorized a few answers to the most common complaints.
Importantly, I also treat objections as “not yet,” opposed to a flat-out “no.”
If you didn’t get a firm no, then assume she just means “not yet.” There have been plenty of times where a girl declines to grab a coffee, but knowing how to talk to her, building more comfort and attraction, she says yes after a couple of minutes.
For example, when she says, “I can’t leave my friends”, it’s not that she physically can’t leave her friends. It’s more likely that she’s not quite comfortable enough to leave with YOU just yet. So you need to know how to talk to women in a way that builds more comfort and/or assures them that you’re coming right back and not one of those guys that’s trying to steal them away the entire night.
This actually happened to me not too long ago, where I took her objection as “not yet”, continued to build attraction and comfort and then when I asked 5 minutes later, she came with me to a quieter part of the bar for us to get to know each other. The funny part is, we never saw her friends again for the rest of the night.
It wasn’t that she couldn’t leave her friends. The truth is, she wasn’t yet comfortable enough with me to leave her friends.
Most guys eject out of the interaction over a “not yet,” type response. You may have missed out on so many girls because of that.
If so, that’s ok. Because all that is about to change.
Because girls always feel the need to give an objection (even if she wants to join you), it’s your job to answer her objections.
One technique I like to use is pre-answering objections.
For example, remember that list of common concerns above?
What I like to do is answer those objections before she even has a chance to mention it.
Let’s take the, “don’t want to travel far” and “uncomfortable one-on-one” root objections.
When I’m bringing a girl to a coffee shop, a place to eat, or my place, I always say something like, “Let’s go grab a coffee. I know a great spot a few blocks away. We’ll grab a quick coffee, and then you can go back on your merry way.”
When I say, “let’s go grab a coffee,” immediately she’s wondering to herself, “how far away is it and how long?”
That’s why the secret of how to talk to women in a way that delivers results is to answer their objections before they even have a chance to object.
The best strategy is to answer objections before she has them. The next best option is to be prepared for common objections.
Here’s a list of common objections and how to handle them:
Her: “I can’t leave my friends.”
You: “I can’t leave my friends either. A bunch of my friends are here, so I have to come back.”
This is good for the first half of the night when her concern is being gone long, not coming back to see her friends and being stuck 1 on 1 with a guy she just met.
Her: “I can’t leave my friends.”
You: “My friends are here too. We can text our friends my address, and they can meet us there.”
This is good for the second half of the night to assure her it won’t be just 1 on 1.
Her: “I have to be up early”
You: “What time do you have to be up?….Well, I have to be up at (1 hour earlier) so that’s no excuse (playfully). Just come for a half hour and I’ll kick you out (playfully)”
Her concern here is not being up late so you let her know, hey I’m in the same situation, let’s just hang out for a little.
Her: “What if you kidnap me” (or any variation)
You: “Damn! You have me all figured out already” (playfully)
This is a girl’s polite way to make sure she’s safe and comfortable with you.
Her: “How will I get home?”
You: “I can either send you home in an Uber or you can sleep on the couch and I’ll drive you home in the morning because I’ve been drinking”
This reassures her that she will get home safely (in case she has to leave her ride). The couch part takes off the pressure of any expectations. The drinking part pre answers the objection of why you can’t drive her now
Her: “But we just got here”
You: “We just got here too. And we’re mostly sober. Let’s go drink real quick and come back”
This is for the first half of the night.
Her: “I already have plans to do XYZ after”
You: “Drinking wine with me (or another activity) will be a lot more fun. Come with me instead then you can go do XYZ.”
Remember one of her concerns a girl has is are we going to do something fun or something that she likes. The activity doesn’t have to be anything fancy. I date classy girls so all of them like wine 🙂
Her: Any time-related objection
You: “Don’t worry, we’ll only be a couple minutes.” Or, “we’ll be quick.” Or, “It’s just two minutes.”
For any time-related objection just let her know it won’t be for long. So if it’s coffee, just say there’s a cafe one minute away and we’ll be quick.
Alright, as we discussed, objections aren’t bad! They should be expected. I’ve been studying some Jordan Belfort recently (Wolf of Wall Street) and he emphasizes that a sale doesn’t begin until the first objection. Anyone can pitch the sale. The skill comes in your ability to overcome a person’s objections.
Also, remember that objections are really smoke screens for their real concerns. Usually, the root of a girl’s objection will be one of the real concerns I listed above.
Next time you get an objection, try to understand what her real objection is and get to answer that. If you answer her superficial objection but not the real one, she’ll just keep bringing up one objection after another.
Your Weekend Mission (If you choose to accept)
Beginners:
- Reflect on your last 3 approaches. What objections did you hear? Write down 2 good possible responses.
- Do at least 5 approaches with the goal of getting an instant date.
- As soon as you can, write down the objection, what you think the root objection might be, and 2 answers you can use next time
- Bonus if you can figure out how to include pre-answering her objections for next time
Advanced:
- Reflect on your last 5 approaches. What objections did you hear? Write down 2 good possible responses.
- Do at least 10 approaches with the goal of getting an instant date. Try to push the interaction as far as you can, baby-stepping her closer and closer to your place.
- As soon as you can, write down the objection, what you think the root objection might be, and 2 answers you can use next time
- Bonus if you can figure out how to include pre-answering her objections for next time
Alright, guys, there’s the tip of the week!
Be sure to go out there and start implementing it RIGHT AWAY. Success loves the speed of implementation.
If you like tips like these, then I would highly recommend you check out The Language of Attraction or attend a BOOTCAMP.
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