Have you ever had a hard time learning how to talk to women? Are you always running out of things to talk about when meeting someone new?
We all know starting a conversation with a complete stranger can be intimidating. As we walk over, sometimes our minds go blank unsure of what to say.
Today, I’m going to share a powerful technique that teaches you not only how to talk to women, but it’s something that you can use to spark a conversation and build massive rapport with anyone.
How To Talk To Women: The F.O.R.D. Method
The FORD Method is a great way to start strong when getting to master how to talk to women that you’ve just met.
An easy way to remember this technique is using the acronym F-O-R-D which, stands for:
Family
Occupation
Recreation
Dreams
The conversation possibilities from these four categories are endless. Just be sure to ask open-ended questions and avoid questions that can be answered with a yes or no.
Use their answers, and the tips I went over last week to build on the conversation. You can check last week’s post by clicking here.
Here are some example questions you can ask, and breakdown of each topic.
FAMILY
- What is your family like?
- What was it like growing up as a kid?
- Do you have any siblings? And then a follow-up question. If she does have siblings, you can ask her what her siblings are like. If she doesn’t, you can ask do you ever wish you did.
Studies have shown that when people share family-related matters with strangers, they feel closer to them. You’ll have to keep that in mind when knowing how to talk to women. After all, you usually only share personal information with close friends.
The challenge, however, is that asking about family upfront can sometimes come off too strong.
What you want to do instead is branch the conversation in a way that family naturally comes up.
There are two ways you can do this.
One, you can talk about your family first.
For example, when I was recently talking to a girl, I mentioned how I was excited to see my little sister over the holidays. I then asked if she had any siblings, which she didn’t. I then asked if she ever wishes she had some, which lead the conversation towards the family.
The second way is by making assumptions about her. Next time you talk to a girl you could say, “You look like you come from a big family.”
Whether your right or wrong doesn’t matter, making assumptions is a great way to create a sense of curiosity and spark a conversation.
She’ll either wonder why you think she comes from a big family or corrects your statement. Either way, you’re now on the topic of family.
OCCUPATION
- How’s your job going?
- How did you get into your field?
- What are your career plans?
Our work makes up a big portion of our lives and is probably one of the most used conversation starters. Because of that, it’s the easiest topic out of the four to start with.
The trick about making this topic work is not to dwell on the surface level conversation.
Let’s say you’re on a date and ask her, “What do you do for a living?”. “I’m a school teacher,” she says.
Most guys make the mistake of staying on the surface level asking questions like, “What subject do you teach?”, “What grade?”, “What school?”.
Instead, I recommend you move to deeper topics.
The way to do that is by getting to the root motivation and emotions for becoming a teacher. You could ask her, “What inspired you to become a teacher?”. You could also comment how “It must feel incredible knowing you’re making an impact on these children at such a pivotal time in their life.”
See how this can lead to a deeper conversation than asking, “What subject do you teach?”
RECREATION
- What do you do for fun?
- What do you like to do that brings a smile to your face?
- Any vacations planned for next year?
- Are you into any pro sports? What’s your favorite team?
Everyone has some sort of hobby, interest, and passion. When getting to know how to talk to women, it’s important to talk about interests.
Like the occupation questions, avoid sticking to surface level topics. Instead, jump into the deep end by focusing on motivation and emotions.
A great way to segue from occupation to recreation is by asking, “What do you like to do when you’re not working?”
The best mentality to have on this topic is wondering, “Why is this activity so exciting for this person?”
Chances are, the person you’re talking to has a hobby that you may know nothing about.
Maybe they love rock climbing, but you’ve never been. You could say, “Oh that’s cool. I’ve always thought rock climbing was an interesting sport. Why do you like it so much?”
Following up with questions like this allow the other person to dive deeper into their hobby and explain why they love it.
As Dale Carnegie says in his book, How to Win Friends and Influence People, “It’s better to be interested than interesting.”
DREAMS
- What did you want to be when you were a kid?
- If you could travel anywhere, where would you go?
- What do you think you’ll be doing in five years?
- What’s your favorite place to visit?
- What’s the most exciting thing on your bucket list?
This is one of the most powerful topics you can talk to someone about.
Unfortunately, most people are told to take the “safe” route instead of pursuing their dreams.
If you’re one of the few people that actually brings up and supports their dream, the other person will think very fondly of you.
This is usually the last of the four topics I bring up. Most people are sensitive when discussing their dreams since they are so used to people focusing on why it can’t happen.
Because of this, be sure to build up a good amount of rapport, from the other three topics, so you can get truly meaningful responses to dream questions.
Again, just like the previous two topics, get into deeper level conversations. Focus on the motivation and emotions associated with their response. You’re getting to understand how to talk to women. And you’ll definitely have an easier time establishing rapport.
Your Weekend Mission (If you choose to accept)
- Beginners: Memorize one question for each section and make 3 approaches with the focus of using the FORD method to build comfort. The goal would be to touch all four topics using the questions you memorized.
- Advanced: Same as beginners, but 6 approaches. They only count if you can get through the entire FORD method.
Alright, guys, that’s how to talk to women and have deeper conversations. Using the FORD method!
Be sure to go out there and start implementing it RIGHT AWAY. Success loves the speed of implementation.
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