How To Turn Her On and Create Desire (Ethically)

In this post, Matt Artisan reveals how to turn on a girl and create attraction and desire – you’ll learn 5 essential things a girl needs in order to be intimite with you, and one thing you must NEVER forget to do. Here’s how to make her want to be intimite with you.

First of all let’s make one thing clear, it’s not about GETTING her to have sex with you. It’s about creating an environment and opportunity for her to want to be more intimate with you. It’s not about getting anything from her; it’s about her wanting it.

And there are 5 prerequisites to her wanting to be intimite with you. The first 4 are pretty obvious.

  1. She needs to be attracted to you. This doesn’t have to be based on looks but she needs to feel a sense of desire towards you.  
  2. She needs to feel safe. And it certainly helps if you’ve built a connection with her.
  3. You need to escalate the relationship – i mean you have to touch her at some point. Touching releases the bonding hormone oxytocin that is also released during orgasm. So make sure to touch her in a way that is comfortable and makes her feel safe.
  4. And of course you need to be in a place intimacy can actually happen

Now we have other videos that explain each of these in details.

But there’s a 5th step that is really crucial and most guys totally miss it.  

You see a woman won’t be intimate with a guy even if she really likes him and wants to sleep with him because she’s afraid of being judged.  

But who would judge her?

Well she might be afraid of her friends judging her, you judging her and she might even be afraid of judging herself.

I know, as guys this seems crazy, I mean we want to tell our friends and we are usually proud of ourselves, but these are real issues girls actually worry about.

So #1: Let’s talk about dealing with her friends.

  • Make sure to manage your logistics so the friends don’t have to know that she’s going home with you. For example you could tell her friends that you are walking her to her car. And then they won’t know their friend is going home with you.  
  • What if you have a lot of mutual friends and she’s afraid that you might tell them? Well then use a story to illustrate how you don’t like to “kiss and tell.” Example: “Yeah this girl I dated ended up telling everyone we hooked up and I was so mad.” But make sure it’s a true story.
  • But what if her friends aren’t there?…… then who cares! Move on. .

#2. Next, she might be afraid that YOU are going to judge her if she is intimate  with you. So don’t do that! Never judge a girl for being intimate! That’s just lame. Remember that women are sexual creatures too!

  • So explain to her that you really like strong liberated women and how it’s not fair how our society judges confident women who go for what they want. I like to use a story about how my ex-gf and I became intimate rather quickly and how we just had so much passion in our relationship.
  • Or you can talk about how you don’t think it’s fair how a guy can be intimate with a lot of women and he’s therefore considered a sexual superstar but if a girl does that then she’s considered slutty. Women shouldn’t be judged. They should be equal to men! 

#3. Dealing with her judgements

  • Explain to her that women are sexual and that you think it’s totally fine and that they are just as sexual than men
  • Think about it…they can have more orgasms than a man, have different types of orgasms (4 types and men can only have 1) and they have twice as many nerves in their fun parts than a men.  So women are just as, if not more sexual than men.  

So there you have it, just throw in these remarks in the middle of your conversation somewhere in a casual manner.

You can thank me later.

Now, we have a free training video where I break down me going from approach to an instant date in under 3 minutes. Yup, I show you exactly what I say to create an romantic vibe from the beginning and go for a date quickly.

Also, make sure to subscribe to our channel for more tips and check out our boot camp schedule.

Want to create romantic tension within the first minutes of meeting her? Click here to claim your free Training.

And if you want us to show you how to meet women personally, click here for a free 1-on-1 breakthrough call.

Matt Artisan
Intl. Dating Coach & Founder @ The Attractive Man LLC
Matt Artisan is considered one of the World’s Top Dating & Attraction Coaches.

For the last 5 years Matt has personally conducted Live Trainings and Workshops in over 36 countries, helping thousands of men all of the world build confidence and succeed with women.

He has been interviewed by ABC and featured on MTV.
2 replies
  1. Noah
    Noah says:

    Step 1 and 2 are easy but 3 how the he’ll do I do that it’s life steps 1 and 2 are baby steps but 3 is huge ok its like a stair case step 1 and 2 are right there and step 3 is at the top of this is sooooo hard


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