how to approach a girl

Learn How to Approach a Girl or Women | The Attractive Man

Most men don’t know how to approach a girl correctly. The fact is that most guys get nervous at the thought of approaching a girl. Whether it’s to get her number, to pick her up, or even just to get to know her – Most men find it difficult to overcome this essential first step.

Whether you’re young or old, our guidelines will help you approach women effortlessly and successfully!

We are the go-to experts when it comes to approaching women. We’ve conducted boot camps in 40 countries, showing men the art of approaching and meeting beautiful women. What we teach is a simple step-by-step system for how to approach women.

So take out your pens and papers because you’re going to want to jot down everything here – have these points handy and go out and meet some ladies.

Now, before we get there, let’s lay down what you need to learn if you want to get the girl.

  1. Inner Game – Having the confidence to approach, and feel comfortable while doing it.
  2. The Approach – Meeting her and getting her attracted.
  3. The Close – Following up later, or taking her home.

If you can wrap your head around these simple steps on how to approach a girl for the first time, you’ll be guaranteed results.

Let’s get started on some concepts that prepare us for our first approach.


What You Need To Know Before You Approach Her

What Is She Looking For When You Approach Her?

how to approach a girl

Hey, what if we told you that you could spark instant attraction within a few moments of approaching her? All you have to know is what her instincts want in a man.

Instinct drives men and women unconsciously. She will know right away after you approach her, if she is attracted to you or not based on her instincts. When you strip everything down to the core, it’s actually instinct that drives our actions, reactions, and feelings towards what’s happening around us.

Back in the cavemen era, women were looking for men that could provide and protect.  She needed a man with confidence, strength, and resources to provide and protect her and her offspring.

Men, on the other hand, instinctively preferred women who were ideal for childbearing and were nurturing for their young. (Which explains why we find women with larger breasts or wide hips more attractive even today.)

So we know that women want a man that can provide and protect her, but how does she know that you can?

Here’s what she is looking for:

How Calm You Are: The most significant thing she will look for is how relaxed you are in her presence. If you are fidgeting or stumbling over your words, she’ll know you’re not the guy for her.

Eye Contact That Shows Desire: Women can tell a lot about you from your eyes. She can see if you’re grounded, or if you’re scared. Also, she can tell if you’re low status or high status. She can also tell if you feel desire towards her. You should look at her like she wishes you were being intimate with her. Make sure to keep your eye contact steady. To help, stay focused on her left eye.

Approaching Without Hesitation: Most guys will have to build up the courage to approach her… and she’ll notice. If you hesitate, you’re toast from the beginning.

High-Status Body Language: She instinctively will read your body language and see if you’re an ideal suitor. The main thing you should know is to move slowly and with purpose. High-status guys don’t fidget and do things sporadically. They move with intention. This slow movement creates tension. And of course, stand tall with good masculine posture.

Proud Facial Expression: Have a proud facial expression because it is proven to be most attractive to women. There should be a slight smile accompanied by it.

High-Status Attire: What you wear says a lot about you, such as whether or not you have access to resources. Present yourself well. However, this doesn’t mean you have to wear a suit everywhere. You can portray high status with a t-shirt and jeans if you pair it with a prestigious watch and shoes.

Loud & Powerful Voice: Project your voice so that you sound sure of yourself. If you are nervous inside, this will usually reveal itself through your voice. So proactively, make it low and strong. (Women are attracted to men with lower voices)

 

 

The Correct Mindset When Approaching Women

When you first approach a girl, having the wrong mindset will throw you off entirely. You may have all the qualities and the potential to bring them out, but when your mind isn’t in the right place, your chances of getting the girl to want you are significantly lower.

If you want to know how to approach a girl with success, here’s the mindset you need to have: “Let’s see if this girl is good enough to be with me.”

Most guys go up to her thinking, “I hope she likes me.” They are primarily trying to impress her or win her over. Here’s the deal… you don’t know anything about her yet, so don’t fall in love with her right away.

If there’s one thing you learn from this post, make it this. Have the mindset that she has to prove herself to you. We’ll talk more about this later.

 

 

How To Eliminate Nerves When Approaching A Girl

You already know that women like a grounded, secure man… so make sure you approach her in a grounded state.

When we’re talking to women, our most significant difficulty is going to be staying in the moment. It’s easy to get caught up in different thoughts like, “What do I say?” or “What if she has a boyfriend?

It’s a high-pressure situation, especially when you’re first starting out. You need a method for controlling negative ideas that will creep up during the interaction. Without a way to deal with it, it will be much harder to build attraction.

Feeling centered can be described fundamentally as being in your body, and out of your head. You’re not concerned about her feelings towards you, as you’re so focused on having a good time and learning about her.

Now, we have a great course that is all about exploding confidence and crushing approach anxiety, which you can find here… But here is one quick tip you can use today.

When you’re feeling overwhelmed with anxiety, take some grounding breaths.

The key to eliminating nerves is to focus on a very long exhale. Take a deep breath in… and then release it with a slow, 10-second exhale.

Try it now and see how you feel. Do several.

I know it sounds too good to be true, but this will instantly calm your nerves and let you focus on her once again. Before you approach her, do at least one grounding breath.

 


How To Approach A Girl During The Day

how to approach a girl during the day

Let’s dive into approaching women during the daytime… our specialty. Primarily you’ll use this if you see a girl walking down the street, at a grocery store, at a coffee shop, bank, school, or anywhere. It just may take a slight modification depending on the situation.   

Here’s our simple framework for the best way to approach a girl and get her number when you approach her during the day.

1. Acknowledge the Reality

Start with giving context to the situation. Giving context helps her understand what you are doing.

For example: “Hi, this is completely random, and I know you’re eating lunch with your friend…

2. Compliment Her

This may sound contrary to what you’ve heard, but it works really well. She knows why you are approaching her so just say it. She’ll appreciate your directness.

Girls respond to honesty more than anything. Make it your goal to say something sincere, something that you actually feel. You don’t need a reason to talk to her, but you need a way to show your intentions.

You’re looking for something direct, but atypical.  Don’t use the words ‘hot’ or ‘sexy’ when you’re opening.

Try something like “Hey, this is really random, and I know you are shopping, but I think you’re adorable.”

The most important is to be genuine when you say it. This will be your go-to when opening in almost any situation. When in doubt, remember this.

We’ll go over some situational openers in later sections, but the idea remains the same.

3. Qualify Her

Remember earlier when I mentioned, that you need to see if she meets YOUR standards? This section is part of that. After you meet her, you want to qualify her and see what type of girl she is.

Guys that have options with girls, naturally do this because they can choose which one they want. So by doing this regularly, it shows that you do not just settle for any girl.

Here are some examples: ” I don’t know anything about you… what’s one cool thing about you because I’m very picky about who I hang out with.”

This question is deceptively complex. We’re essentially saying:

  • I find you attractive.
  • I’m not trying to please you; I’m trying to get to know you.
  • I am used to being around girls that are as attractive as you.
  • I’m not sure if you’re right for me, tell me why you are.

“Tell me something about you… like what are you passionate about?”

This one is simple and opens her up to talk about her passions. Talking about passions are great because it gives you a chance to connect with what is meaningful to her.

Now, a big part of qualifying her is how you say it… You have to have a neutral or high-status tone. You don’t want to sound like any answer she gives will suffice.

If she says something you don’t like, tell her that you don’t like it. Express yourself even if that means you disagree with her. Women love a man that can tell them “No.”

4. Close

You’ve made it to the best part. You’ve worked hard to get to this point, and you’d like to see the reward. There might have been some hiccups during the interaction, but you’ve realized that you want to see her again. So, What are our options?

Instadate – An instant-date is when you take a girl on a date the same day that you met her. This gives you time to talk and get to know her, without having to deal with the logistics of meeting up later.

Be forward when you ask her – Remember, you have a lot of options. Ask her to come for a coffee, tea, lunch or a drink. It’s that simple. Once you’ve built some connection, suggest it to her in a direct way. “Hey, let’s go get some coffee, I know this place across the street.”

Always make sure of these two things:

  1. Be decisive. Pick a place and go for it. As long as it’s not awful, it should be fine.
  2. Don’t ask her to come, say “Let’s go” or “We should.” Lead the way.

Get her number – Avoid asking questions like these directly, ex: “Can I have your number?” She’s been asked these hundreds of times. It also shows a lack of confidence because you are communicating to her that you are not sure if she will give you her number.

Instead, try something along the lines of, “Do you text?” as it’s atypical and pretty direct. Then say, let’s exchange numbers. You will find there are times when women will not want to give out their number.

  • If they get hit on frequently, they may be more inclined to give out a fake number. Just imagine how many texts these girls deal with daily.
  • They consider their number very intimate and don’t want to come off as sleazy.
  • Social Media is just more convenient.

Social Media Close –I’m a millennial, so social media is my go-to when it comes to closing, I’ll go over a few of these quickly.

  • Facebook – Try to avoid if possible, unless your profile is pretty active with a lot of presence. You do not want your profile to say “I have no social life.”
  • Instagram – Similar to Facebook, but it’s much easier to create a significant presence here. Avoid if you’re not very active.
  • Snapchat – My personal favorite. The rate of response is extremely high; you can see which girls are watching your story, etc. Do not send unwarranted nudes. There’s no quicker way to kill attraction.

Your/her Place – The best way to get her back to your place is to give her a reason.

If she thinks that you’re only bringing her home only for sex, most of the time it will not go well. So do not singularly ask “Hey want to come home with me?” because this forces her to make the decision about sleeping with you right there on the spot. There is any number of ways to have her come back to your place, and my favorites are:

  • Do you want to watch a movie/listen to music/look at my art?
  • Do you want to meet my pet?
  • Would you like to play video games/pool/other entertainment?

If things have been highly sexual up to this point, keep them that way. Make sure to demonstrate that you’re not boring and that she’ll have fun if she comes with you.


How To Approach Women In Different Daytime Situations

1. Groups of Girls

You may be scared when you are learning how to approach women, especially groups.

But you shouldn’t be.

When you walk up, hold eye contact with the girl that you like. This is important in all approaches but especially here, as it shows that you’re not just trying to attract whoever wants you the most. That’s needy, anyway.

The most important thing that you have to keep in mind when you’re approaching them is that everyone should be involved, even in the open.

“Hey, I just wanted to tell your friend that she is adorable in every way.”

The best way to continue this is to ask her friend questions about the girl you like.

“What is something interesting about Jessica that she’s passionate about and tries to hide?”

2. Mixed Group – Guy and Girl

One of the most intimidating things for newbies is approaching girls that are with guys. You may fear that the guy is a boyfriend, but believe me, this is less often the case. Most of the time it’s going to be:

  • A friend of hers
  • A family member
  • A stranger who just happens to be hovering around her

We’re going to change things up in a pretty interesting way: We’re going to compliment the guy.

Now, I’m not talking about walking up and complimenting his hipster beard. More specifically, you’re going to notice that he has a beautiful girlfriend and compliment him on that. When you open, say to him directly,

“I don’t mean any disrespect, but I just had to stop for a second to say that your girlfriend is really adorable.”

Now, when you say this, make sure that you’re looking at him when you start but look her in the eyes the moment you deliver the compliment.

This frequently leads to him saying, ”She is not my girlfriend.”  From which you can start talking to the girl as we described above, however, don’t ignore him completely.

3. How To Approach A Girl That’s Walking

how to approach a girl that's walking

First, I’m going to start with what not to do, then follow up with what to openWhen you approach a girl that is walking:

If you are behind her then get at least 6 feet in front of her, then turn around and open to her, with something like: “Hey real quick…”

If she is walking towards you, then first let her pass, try to make eye contact, then repeat the previous steps.  It looks needy if you approach her right away before you can even see who she is. The best way to approach a girl here should be something like: “Hey this is totally random, but I just thought you looked absolutely… adorable.”

If she’s in a hurry, talk about it. “Hey I can tell you’re in a hurry, but I just had to meet you.”

Pretty simple.

4. How To Approach A Girl On Her Phone

You know, I’m not going to complain about people being on their phones too often. It’s honestly overdone.

Approaching while she’s busy can be advantageous simply because it’s high risk. Women love men who are bold and go for exactly what they want.

She’ll appreciate that. One thing that you always want to do is address the fact that what you’re doing is out of the social norm.

We’ll say something like this: “Hey, I know you’re on the phone, and it’s so rude to interrupt, but I had to risk it and tell you that you are absolutely beautiful.”

Don’t be worried if she ends up staying on the call and not pursuing you. She may be on an important call, so don’t overthink into it.

5. How To Approach A Girl At A Coffee Shop

Coffee shops are great places to approach women. You’ll find a lot of business-oriented chicks and hipsters, which makes this place amazing in my book.

We’ll open with something situational like this: “Hey, I can see that you’re studying/reading/working, but I just had to come over and say hi.”

Whatever she is doing, don’t be afraid to talk about it when you open. It’s just fluff, but it shows you’re interested in more than just her looks.

Girls are most likely seated here. Don’t just jump into a seat before you open. After you’ve talked to her for a moment, grab a seat while talking, but first give a time constraint. As you sit, say “I’ll sit down for a minute before I have to get back…”

Don’t force it. It should feel natural.

6. How To Approach A Girl At The Gym

I recommend that you open with something like “Hi, I don’t think we’ve met yet. My name is ____.

This opener implies that you are social and know people there. From there, just do the standard daytime approach we discussed earlier.

I shouldn’t have to say this, but do not stop her while she’s busy doing cardio or if she’s mid-rep. Wait until she is resting.


Night Game How To Approach a Girl at Bars & Clubs

Women get hit on at bars/clubs all the time. Distinguishing yourself here is the absolute key to success.

To stand out, demonstrate:

  • That you’re a high-status man,
  • You’re confident at socializing, and
  • You are a ton of fun to be with

I cannot emphasize enough how important being ‘fun’ isPeople go out on weekends to let off steam and to let loose after a hard week. The attention spans are short, and the sex-drives are high. Opening in a fun and high energy state usually works well.

How To Approach A Girl In A Bar

If there’s only one thing I could say about bars, I would say: You need to be social from the moment you enter. Even socialize beforehand if possible. This builds momentum and puts you into a social state.

Right when you walk into the bar, start talking. When you order a drink, banter with the bartender. The first girl you see, approach. A good opener in the bar is “Hi, I don’t think we’ve met yet. My name is ____.”

It’s simple and direct. From there you’ll want to banter and escalate.

For more bar openers, download The Conversation Cheat Sheet here.

You’ll be able to socialize all over the place in a bar, so don’t stick to the actual bar too much. There should be a lot of places to open new girls.

Try not to wander around too much. This is what the average guy does, and it makes you seem lost.

Sidenote: Do not offer drinks when you first meet a girl. It’s what a lot of guys do, and it makes you seem like you have an agenda, as if you’re trying to buy your way into her pants. Only buy her a drink after you’ve talked to her for a while. That’s actually pretty cool.

How To Approach A Girl In A Nightclub

how to approach a girl

Be very loud. In certain countries or cities, nightclubs can be extremely noisy. The vibe that you’re giving off if you’re quiet is either that you’re not having fun, or that you don’t have the confidence to speak up.

Do not wander around aimlessly in nightclubs. The majority of girls are going to be cycling through the bar, dance floor, bathroom on repeat.

That means you should be dancing, not standing on the dancefloor, to get maximum exposure to everyone in the venue.

When you’re on the dance floor, try to make eye contact with the girl you like. After you make eye contact, walk over and give her the “hand of god.” Fully extend your arm and reach out towards her, inviting her to dance. This is a bold move, so make sure you have a confident smile on your face when you do this.

When she takes your hand, spin her around, and start dancing with her. Make sure to introduce yourself at this point, but don’t have a long conversation while dancing.

After a song or two, invite her to get a drink with you. This will give you some time to talk and flirt with her. After you get drinks, take her someplace quieter so you two can continue talking.

Do not try to get her to come to your place early. This usually won’t work because she’s there to have fun. This is especially true before midnight.

Make sure to number/social media close early in the interaction because she could leave or wander off at any moment. This should become habitual on your part.

Approaching On The Street

Street game after 12-1am is another opportunity to meet women that want to go home with a guy.

Why is that? Women have had fun all night, so their chance to expand or extend their night by going home with you is extremely high. We refer to this as buying temperature.

It means that if they’ve had a great night, they are so hyped up that it’s easy to close. In fact, much easier than it would be at any other time during the week.

You can, and should, be very direct. If they are walking out of the venue, you have roughly 5-10 minutes to close.

A good opener would be: “You’re cute, and I want to talk to you.”  If you vibe exceptionally well after you open, you have to be quick about getting logistics.

Ask them:

  • What are you doing now?
  • Who are you here with?
  • How far away do you live?
  • What are you doing tomorrow?

Get through one if not all of these fast.

Final Thoughts

Master the art of approaching women, and you’ll see an abundance of women in your life. It takes time to master this skill, but keep at it.

Just remember, the game is a skillset, one that you can always improve. You should see it as an opportunity instead of an obstacle.


how to use social media

How To Use Social Media To Get Dates

Is having her social media BETTER than getting her number? Are your random messages or comments on Facebook helping you get the girl? Can you meet hot chicks on Instagram even if you’re not Dan Bilzerian? In this video, I’ll show you how to use social media to get dates!

 


 


How To Use Social Media To Get Dates

Facebook, Instagram, Snap chat, Twitter, Badooo… the list goes on and on! Can you REALLY use social media to your advantage to get more dates and make women like you?

Today’s topic is all about how to use social media to get more dates.  

Phone Number VS Social Media

Well, they’re pretty much one in the same nowadays since the popular Social Media platforms Facebook, Instagram and Snapchat all have messaging capabilities.

The benefit of Social Media is that she can see your pictures. That’s right – she can remember how damn sexy you are! She can clearly see your attractive lifestyle (yep, you better show off that Ferrari in every picture… just kidding, don’t do that, that’s just douchey.)

Also, when she sees your embarrassing frat party pics she’ll see that you have friends, so she can safely assume you are not a serial killer or leader of an elite terrorist organization.

Social media can actually be better than a phone number as long as you have a pimped out page. So make sure to post cool pics regularly. Avoid boring pics of that disgusting cheeseburger you just ate, you animal killer you. (Actually, burgers are great, just don’t post snaps of them, okay?)

Social Media Is Also A Great Way To Stay On The Girl’s Radar

She can see what you are up to and get super jealous that you were front row at Justin Beiber. Or that you went to the movies with another girl instead of her.

Whereas through SMS if you want to stay in her mind you have to send her an individual text and only she gets it. It’s a one-off communication and who has time for that these days?

On social media when you post something hundreds even thousands of girls can see it. That’s freakin’ awesome!

Most Girls are also more likely to give out their social media profile over there phone number because they know they can easily block you if you end up being a weird creepy psychopath who sends her a bunch of dick pics. (Stop doing that!) Plus she probably wants more followers so she can pump up her ego and feel better about herself.

 


You Can Even Use Social Media As A Way To Approach Girls In Clubs

Just say, “Snapchat!” and then ask them for their snap. Every time you post something you can check to see who viewed it. When you see a particular girl has been viewing all of your snaps then send her a message. There’s a great chance she’ll be willing to meet you since she’s always checking out your snaps and is basically your fan.

I personally use Snap chat as a way to interject more fun into the interaction. I just whip out my phone and say let’s take a snap and command everyone in the group to do a silly pose. This is fun and women are likely to comply with a snap that only lasts 24hrs compared to Facebook – which lasts an eternity. And then you have a perfect reason to add her to Snap chat and then just message her later.   

Social Media Can Also Make Women Feel More Connected To You

Think about it, when she’s following you on Social Media, she’ll have more sense of who you are and what you are all about because she’s already seen a bunch of your pics, videos, and posts. She’ll actually feel more comfortable meeting you and she’ll likely feel like she has known you for a while unless you have tons of creepy pics.

I once met a girl and they didn’t speak to her for 4 years because I had a girlfriend at that time. After I broke up with my girlfriend, I sent the girl a message on Facebook and we met up. She told me she’d been following me on Facebook – so she knew all about my travels and adventures for the last 4 years bc she saw my posts. Now if I only had her number, I doubt she would have even remembered me. She probably wouldn’t have been willing to meet up again.

Social Media Is Great Social Proof

How else can you use social media? Well if you have an active profile and a lot of follows then it’s great for social proof. Social proof is when someone’s thoughts and actions become influenced by the thoughts and actions of the masses.

Which basically means if a girl sees that you have a lot of fans and followers who think you’re cool, she will be influenced by the crowd and will also think you’re cool.

As a reminder, this is not about how you build up your Instagram and Facebook page. There are plenty of other resources and videos for that. A reasonable goal is to reach 10 million followers and then you’ll always be surrounded by hot Instagram models that want to be Instagram famous.

What about meeting girls on Social Media?

Well if you have an awesome profile full of traveling, adventure, cool people, professional pictures, etc. then it’s possible that random women will add you and actually message you first. Now if you’re not at that stage of the game yet should you message them?

Well here’s the deal. It doesn’t hurt to randomly message or add a girl out of the blue. However, if you actually want to meet girls online then I recommend a dating app like Tinder or Bumble because those girls are more likely to be single and are actively looking for a date. You just have better odds and it’s just a better way to utilize your time.


By the way, have you ever been in that situation where you see a beautiful girl but you don’t know what to say?

Well, that’s why I created this Free Conversation Cheat Sheet where I break down exactly what to say after “Hi” to make her want you.

You get:

  • My top conversation starters for any situation…
  • Simple techniques to never run out of things to say…
  • A list of my favorite games to play that create a fun-flirty vibe
  • And simple ways to escalate the interaction.
  • And more!

Download it now because you’ll want to keep this handy before you go out.


And if you want us to personally show you how to meet women, click here to check out the live Bootcamp Schedule.

I’m out! Cheers!

10 Ways to Stand Out from all the Other Guys on Tinder

Want to get dates without leaving your house?

Well then—the Tinder App is definitely your solution.

Tinder is a dating application that pairs individuals who find each other mutually attractive.


You may have already tried it with no success, but don’t stop just yet, because my friend, Max, has some hacks to getting hot dates on Tinder.

In this post, Max, breaks down 10 ways to stand out from all the other guys on Tinder.

1. The Cooking Photo

On a given night, cook up a delicious meal and get a friend to capture a photo of you in action or holding the pan with your cooking apron on. The food needs to look extremely attractive! Importantly, the kitchen must look clean and modern. If you don’t have access to a nice kitchen, take a one-off cooking class.

You would be amazed how many girls will ask about your cooking skills. You can then offer to invite them over for a home-cooked meal. Don’t forget to include some wine!

distraete.com

2. Banish Selfies

As much as us men love to see a woman’s sexy bathroom selfie, this does not go both ways. Data crunching on popular dating sites has proven that men who take selfies consistently underperform. Women prefer to see that you have friends willing to take the photos for you. They also cringe at how silly you must have felt when you took a selfie with all those people around…

The fact that you are shirtless needs to be a necessity for an activity you are taking part in. For instance, you are at the beach, on a boat or at the pool. Make sure you look natural and like you are having fun. Of course, pick a photo where your body looks its ultimate best!

3. Adventure in an Exotic Location

Women love a man who travels. It implies that he is adventurous and interesting. The trick here is to avoid the clichés like posing next to the Eifel Tower. A woman will be far more impressed if it appears like, during your stay, you managed to integrate with the locals. So, for example, take photos wearing some local fashion, at a trendy spot overlooking the city, with residents or alone—but the key is looking as if you belong.

4. The Non-Douchy Shirtless Photo

Here’s the key: you need to have a damn good reason to be shirtless, otherwise you’ll come off as douchy. At the gym, in your room, in your living room, on your patio … put your shirt back on—you’re not impressing anyone. Women will rightfully consider such men to be douchebags.

5. Connect your Instagram

Tinder only enables you to add six photos. However, you can include your Instagram account in your bio. If you have a lot of cool photos, this is a great way to get a woman infatuated with you quickly. Women are worried about meeting a weirdo or a creep, so use Instagram to convince her that you have a fun life that she wants to learn about.

6. Don’t Message as Soon as She Matches You

The girl ventures on Tinder after a few days of absence. Usually, she will quickly get matches and guys will immediately start bombarding her with messages. She will usually end up ignoring most of them.

When you get the match notification, relax and message her later. This way, you will not be competing with so many other men. Also, she will label you as busy and less eager than her other contenders.


7. Open with Something Light and Unassuming

My personal favorite is to send a nice happy smiley. All she has to do is smile back. If she is too busy to respond at that particular moment, you can open with something else later without looking needy. Most guys will try too hard and send a detailed message or a question. You just want to casually get her attention, not seduce her right away.

IMG_0184

An interesting example I have come across is to start a game of connect four. This way, if the girl engages, you have her hooked. If she ignores or doesn’t catch on, you can always recover with a different opener.

8. Ask for Her Facebook

Conversations on Tinder are as fleeting as it gets. Most women will forget about you once other matches start piling up. Also, many women will try Tinder out for a weekend and then delete the app. You are best to get her Facebook as fast as possible.

Make some light but entertaining banter for 7-15 exchanges and then ask for her Facebook name. Once she has accepted your friend request, you can start building some deeper rapport.

9. Know When to End the Conversation

Most guys will let a conversation fizzle out instead of ending it properly. When you would like to postpone the interaction, bring the conversation to a peak and then say you have to run to the gym or some other value-enhancing activity. That way she will be eager to speak to you next time around. If you are slick, add in “let’s speak later, maybe in person :D”.

10. Do Not Rush the Date

If you want to stand out on Tinder and maximize your chances of the woman accepting the date, you need to ease into the idea gradually. Most men will suggest meeting within the first few messages on Tinder. You know better. First, you add her on Facebook and venture superficial banter to deeper rapport. Next, you should hint at the idea of a date, as if it were a possibility you were exploring. If she seems hesitant, go back to building comfort. If she reacts enthusiastically, then plan out something casual and fun.

As in regular seduction, avoid coming off as needy. Have her demonstrate her qualities and bring you around to the idea of suggesting a meeting up.

Want to know exactly how to message her and get the date? Grab Max’s book, Tinder Expert, here.


Max specializes in helping guys get dates through Tinder. “Tinder is a sales process. Most guys fail to get the women they deserve because they don’t convey their best self.”

His book is all about mastering self promotion through Tinder so that you can get more dates.